TVSquad

It looks like even the magic formula that Will Ferrell and Adam McKay created to become comedy movie mavericks doesn't work on the aptly named "idiot box."

HBO's new Eastbound & Down bombed in its premiere episode and lost nearly 40 percent of the lead-in audience from Flight of the Conchords. It also only scored a measly .3 in the ratings, which is dangerously close to "HelloLarrydom."

But fear not, Ferrell freaks. This is HBO, the network that dared to mess with convention, give fledgling shows time to grow and kept Arli$$ on the air for six whole seasons.

The species known as the network executive (networkitus executivus) is unique in the world of nature. Seemingly human in stature and characterization, the network executive is unusual in the sense that its brain is seated firmly in its tushie region. As this area of the executive's body gets the least amount of blood during an average day this leads to some very strange programming decisions. Thus, the reason that viewers were entertained by Cop Rock, Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? and that sitcom that starred Emeril.

This lack of blood also causes memory loss. At least, that's what I believe it does because it's the only way I could think of that NBC would hire Ben Silverman to co-chair the entertainment division. Or, rather, hire another man named Silverman to help program their primetime schedule. For, if their memories were working properly, they would have realized that another man with the last name of Silverman came to the NBC 30 years ago and proceeded to muck everything up as well.

Television has a long standing tradition of making its stars feel more popular than they really are. As somebody who used to be on TV, five nights a a week, I know what that feeling is like. Generally when that person leaves television, they go on to do movies or change professions and they often become even more popular. However, there is always that TV celebrity who overestimates how much people want to see them and when they leave their hit TV show, it ends up being the biggest mistake of their career.

David Caruso
Before Caruso became the star of the weakest part of the CSI franchise, he was the star of NYPD Blue. After playing numerous bit parts on TV and in film, he finally hit the big time. The critics and the public both agreed that he was a breath of fresh air in what had become a stale world of TV dramas. He was sexy and tough, just like his show and he fit in perfectly with his supporting characters. Then suddenly, Caruso decided he was too talented for the small screen and bailed on the show. His much talked-about departure allowed him to make unwatchable films like Jade and the remake of Kiss of Death that nobody asked for. Luckily, the ginger-haired tough guy was able to revive his career, but one can't help but wonder how different things would have been had he continued to be Detective John Kelly.