TVSquad

Mattel and Warner Brothers will no longer be working together on a big screen adaptation of the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe franchise. John Stevenson is still on to direct, but thankfully, Joel Silver has left the project (I still haven't forgiven him for his lies about Alan Moore).

The Masters of the Universe 1987 movie is still a guilty pleasure of mine (early Courtney Cox. Yum). Of course, the classic 1980's cartoon is where J. Michael Straczynski got his start before moving to bigger fish such as Babylon 5. The best big-screen adaptations usually happen when fans, or at least people who understand the source material, become filmmakers (the best examples are the Batman and Iron Man franchises). I didn't get the impression that this was happening with the He-Man movie.

Given the sheer volume of remakes that are happening, I wonder if this movie is even necessary. Do we even need another He-Man movie?

Where would we be without the hallowed television Christmas special? We would be engaged in enthralling conversations with relatives who like to give the backstory about the gall bladder operation pictures they still carry in their wallet. We would be playing defense against every breakable item in the house while the neighbor's kids get enough sugar in their systems to power the Space Shuttle. We would not only have to muster the courage to taste Grandma's homemade rum and Kahula fruitcake, but also to pretend that we like it without our stomach turning inside out, crawling up our esophagus and out of our mouth.

Even if those scenarios will be true for you on Dec. 25, I offer you my pity as my Christmas gift. Plus, you still would rather spend it listening to ol' Uncle Hernia Scar than watching one of these holiday hams.