TVSquad

Still haven't had enough of Hannah Montana? Well, you're in luck then because teen sensation Hannah Montana AKA Miley Cyrus has been slated to host the 2008 Teen Choice Awards. She's also up for three awards herself, which is nice and all, but pales in comparison to the CW's Gossip Girl with 14 and Chris Brown with nine. I've seen Cyrus in interviews and ad-libbing and she seems incredibly competent and comfortable so I expect she'll do a fine job hosting. The ceremony is set for Monday, August 4 at 8 ET on FOX.

I hate to say it, but do you think there's a legion of people out there just waiting for her to lose it the way many of the teen starlets eventually do. Maybe not as bad as Lindsay "You Really Don't Want to Mess With the" Lohan. But you know they've got the countdown clock for her eighteenth birthday, and they're all throwing little parties because of those Miley Cyrus naughty MySpace pics. The funny thing about all the scandal to me is that those pics aren't really all that big of a deal.

Either an Emmy isn't worth very much these days, or Hollywood actresses are finding that the publicity from spurning a nomination is worth more than the nomination itself. First Grey's Anatomy star -- and last year's Emmy winner -- Katherine Heigl removed her name from consideration for an Emmy in 2008, and now another has followed suit.

Lindsay Lohan is not submitting her Ugly Betty performance for Emmy consideration. What? You don't remember Lindsay's performance, those few minutes of a flashback when Betty recalls being used as a dodge ball target in high school? Yeah, Lindsay really put in Emmy-worthy work there!

This is so ridiculous when it comes to Lindsay. There was no chance she'd be nominated, so removing her name is a stunt. On the other hand, Heigl's move is a real slap in the face to the writers of Grey's Anatomy.

Melora Hardin, who plays Jan on NBC's The Office, recently opened up to TV Guide about her character, office romances, "Miley-gate," and The Office finale. Here's a few tidbits from the interview:

• About Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus, Hardin says that she's acting like a normal fifteen-year-old and "I think it's more a question of her handlers protecting her image."
• Melora Hardin also talks about her new movie (which her husband wrote and she directed) called You. It's a coming of age story about a father and daughter. Hardin, her husband, her parents, and her children are in it.
• Hardin admits that she herself has had an office relationship. Her husband! She met him at a wrap party, "So I guess you could consider that an office romance, being that wrap parties are part of my office setting."
  

Controversy continues to swirl around the Disney Channel's once-squeaky-clean Hannah Montana series. Now Kathy Griffin is telling Entertainment Weekly she was fired from the series for comments she made at last year's Creative Arts Emmys.

I dunno. Does "Suck it, Jesus! This award is my god now!" seem all that bad? That's probably one of the classier things the D-List comedian has ever said.

But Griffin didn't go quietly into the night, opting instead to fire off a few shots at the show's star, Miley Cyrus, whose racy Vanity Fair photos are making the water cooler rounds this week. "[She] has been flashing her green bra and posing topless," said Griffin. "I was basically told, 'Disney doesn't want you anywhere near the building.'"

(S04E19) "No more soda pop!" - Judge Clark Brown

Remember last week, when Alan and Denny made the joke about moving to Wednesdays? Remember how much I loved it? Well, I feel exactly the opposite about this week's version. Last week, the joke was so quick , it could have easily been missed. This week it was about as subtle as Denny Crane himself, Plus, it had the added bonus of already being done.

I don't know what was more underwhelming, the guest appearance of Christine Ebersole or her lame cloned meat case. For a show that has had awesome guest actresses like Missi Pyle, Gail O' Grady and Betty White, the star of Rachel Gunn RN is not an impressive get.

"Penis Theft Panic Update": An update on the ever-popular story about the Congolese penis theft scare. You may not have asked for it, but you know you totally wanted it. The update, I mean, not the weird penis-stealing sorcery. Was the light really supposed to go completely out for Jon's spell-chanting? I think that was the part that made the metal drop in the next segment. Jon's really more powerful than he lets on, for the best black sorcerers are always the tiny Jewish ones.

Miley Cyrus is doing mea culpas all over the news about the racy photo shoot in Vanity Fair, basically saying she's embarrassed, but blaming Annie Leibovitz for the pictures. Umm, Miley, you were there. You could have said, "Oh, no, I won't do photos like that cause I'm a Disney girl and Hannah Montana can't do that, get it?" Whatever. Her story is getting press, but it's another Disney Channel star, Brenda Song, who's filed a lawsuit. She really has a reason to gripe.

Brenda Song, who co-stars on The Suite Life of Zack & Cody as London Tipton -- sort of a Blair Warner for today's teens (and if you don't know Blair Warner, you never watched The Facts of Life), has filed a lawsuit with a company that used her image in an escort service print ad that appeared in L.A. Weekly.

In the pictures, taken by Annie Leibovitz, 15 year old Miley appears to be topless, covered by a blanket. Now hackles are raised in all corners. Vanity Fair insists that Miley's parents were on set and approved of the photos. Other sources say her parents left before those shots were taken. Disney weighs in saying Miley was manipulated in order to sell magazines. And the voice of reason, oddly enough me in this case, would like to add, "Who the hell takes topless, or implied topless, pictures of a 15 year old girl in the first place?" Right? Shouldn't the whole thing have been avoided with basic common sense?

As our own Jonathan Toomey has reported, Miley Cyrus, age 15, has signed a book deal with The Disney Book Group.

The book is said to be focused on Cyrus's relationship with her mother, and to emphasize how important Cyrus's family is to her. This is surely gripping material that can fill an entire book. Why, with the exception of some books by a little-known author named Laura Ingalls Wilder, I don't think we have any books about teenage girls and how important their families are to them.

Some have questioned what a 15-year-old girl could possibly fill a memoir with at such a tender age. Let's take a look at some possible book chapters:

Edward Wyatt's New York TImes piece questioned whether NBC crossed the line by broadcasting racy material in the "family hour." On both 30 Rock and The Office, the writers let loose, basically presenting what you might call adult rated moments in what NBC asserts is family time. All I have to say to that is, "What? There's a family hour? Since when?" Apparently, I wasn't the only one caught off guard by the raunchiness of the family hour. The Parents Television Council just today rescinded their praise for NBC's claim that programs in the 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. time period would target families. PTC is calling NBC's pledge "hypocritical."

May I please have the attention of all of those parents who have taken out a second mortgage from purchasing anything and everything related to the Disney supermega-hit Hannah Montana. Are you all reading this? Good. I am letting you know beforehand that you will probably need to take a third mortgage out because the supermega-hot Jonas Brothers are coming to the Disney Channel in a regular series.

Uh, could we get some cold towels and smelling salts out there for the parents, please? Thank you.

As the Academy Award presentation approaches, that can only mean one thing -- time for a new Barbara Walters special. Yes, yes, what matters most before the big show isn't the red carpet and the fashions, it's who will Barbara be interviewing for her annual Oscar edition? Ms. Walters has four biggies lined up for the Sunday, February 24th (7:00-8:00 p.m. ET) broadcast. Oscar nominee Ellen Page, star of Juno; Indiana Jones, himself, Harrison Ford; Ugly Betty diva, Vanessa Williams; and Hannah Montana/teen queen Miley Cyrus. It's an eclectic group, to say the least, but then, that's Baba Wawa's formula for success, is it not? After all, this is her 27th straight year doing a pre-Oscar special.

Unless you've been habitating beneath a mass of consolidated mineral matter over the last two years you know that Disney's Hannah Montana is BIG. You can't turn around in your local, unfeeling, big box toy store without seeing something with Hannah's logo or picture and an astronomical price tag on the front. Well, get ready, because the teen superstar is about to get even bigger.

Filming will begin sometime in April on a big screen version of Hannah Montana. News reports are saying that the film could premiere at the end of 2008 or beginning of 2009 (although, that could be pushed back even further due to the seemingly never-ending Writers' Strike). The film will take 14-year-old Miley Stewart and her dad (played by real daughter-father team Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus) back to their fictional home in Tennessee where, I am sure, hilarity will ensue.

Miley Cyrus, also known as Hannah Montana, has a very active fan club, much as other teen sensations have had over the years. The benefits for those in such a fan club usually include memorabilia, little fan goodies, the latest news about the star and, in this case, the fans believe they were promised easier access to Miley's concert appearances.

Yes, the fan club members believed they would have access to priority seating at the sold-out concerts of Miley, the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus. As Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel, her current fame eclipses any achy breaky heart past glories. She's the fourteen year-old whose fans are really fanatics in all meaning of the word.

Here are the weekly cable ratings, by number of viewers.

1. The Sopranos (HBO)
2. NBA Playoffs - Dallas vs. Golden State (TNT)
3. WWE Monday Night RAW - 10pm (USA)
4. WWE Monday Night RAW - 9pm (USA)
5. NBA Playoffs - Golden State at Dallas (TNT)
6. SpongeBob SquarePants (Nickelodeon)
7. NBA Playoffs - Lakers at Phoenix (TNT)
8. SpongeBob SquarePants (Nickelodeon)
9. Fairly Odd Parents (Nickelodeon)
10. Hannah Montana (Disney