TVSquad

If you're a wobbly-kneed, amateur chef with a tendency to wet your pants anytime someone's voice goes a few decibels higher in your direction, a good version of the Hell's Kitchen video game should make you wish you put on your rubber pants before you started playing.

Unfortunately, the real version isn't even worth shelling out for the price of a pair of extra-large Depends.

The game lacks in just about every area imaginable, from gameplay to ambiance, most notably and disappointingly from the angry chef himself, whose mean stare can make puppies cry and anger spittle can burn a hole in your face like hot alien acid.

Professional chef / screaming manchild Gordon Ramsay is bringing his popular BBC series Kitchen Nightmares to FOX. Americans may have already caught the series on BBC America, in which Ramsay uses his incomparable people skills to whip failing restaurants back into shape. Production on the new reality series is set to begin next month. If you're a fan of Hell's Kitchen, don't worry, that show isn't going anywhere: production for the third season will begin this month.

I'd actually like to see a deal struck between Ramsay and McDonald's, resulting in a show where he yells at the wage slaves for not leaving the Big Macs under the heat lamps long enough. Also, he and Grimace get into a fist fight. Maybe that wouldn't be such a great idea; I just happen to have this reoccurring fantasy about Grimace fighting British people.

(S02E10) I think there should be a new rule imposed in the land of reality TV: no more two hour season finales! Seriously, they're sooooo annoying and tedious, because they just rehash everything that has happened and contain all the same predictable twists and turns that we see in other seasons (or, in some cases, other shows). Of course, maybe we could have knocked the season finale of Hell's Kitchen down to about 90 minutes if they just took out the trivial asides and the damn 11 minute opening summary of every single episode from this season. I mean, if you watch the show, you already know everything that happened. I doubt someone is going to tune into the show 10 episodes in and say "hey, I wonder who will win Hell's Kitchen?"

And then, in the second hour, they have a recap of what happened in the first hour! Gah. But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's down to Heather and Virginia...

(S02E01/S02E02) As the second season of this reality show begins and the players are introduced, I'm really not sure who the hell deserves a multi-million dollar restaurant at a billion dollar Las Vegas resort (Red Rock). Seriously, which of these people would you entrust that kitchen to? Maybe Heather? The others don't really impress.

Here's the rundown on the other contestants and the first meals they make for chef Gordon Ramsay: