TVSquad

Now that Guiding Light is destined to become another sad memory of lonely housewives nationwide, CBS is hoping an old daytime tradition will pull them away from their housework.

And for those of you now engulfed in hate flame who've found the fuel to write some snide comment about my Mad Men-ish view of soap opera viewers and women, please calm the #*$& down. One, I realize this is not the 1950s and women don't all strive to stay at home barefoot and pregnant. And two, who the hell else watches soap operas? Only male hair salon stylists and hospital patients who don't have the physical ability or cognitive capacity to operate a bed remote.

I hope this means more game shows are on the way.

There are some forces in the universe that should never be messed with: the sun, black holes and Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek. Take it from someone who knows.

The man has the unholy ability to make ANYONE look stupid on national television. He can make an Ivy League PhD appear as though he went to city college. He can turn a Midwestern elementary school teacher into someone no parent would entrust their child with for eight hours a day. His trademark "Oh, sorry" alone can make a world renowned neurosurgeon look like a jabbering mental patient who doesn't know the name of the bone that houses the human brain.

So it's no wonder that politicians are scared to be seen in the same camera shot with the man.

The hours of preparation have been grueling. The amount of studying has been tedious and boring. The sacrifice required to reach this moment has been great and punishing. I didn't shower for two days and the smell almost set off the fire alarm in some of the smaller rooms.

Now the only weapons I have at my disposal are my nimble fingers, my rapid comprehension and my ability to remember everything I've read in the span of four days. We're about to go head-to-head with the razor-toothed man eater that is the Jeopardy! contestant test.

We're gonna need a bigger brain.

It's more than a little ironic (or tragic, depending on how much you give a rat's ass) that the most successful game show in the history of American television has never had a truly worthy home game. One worthy enough to give to loser contestants so they can win against their own friends and family at home because God is a cruel comedian.

Seriously, God should get his own Mark Twain Prize.

Now after more than 35 years on the air, there is such a game: The Price is Right video game. And it's so well done and fun that it could crush the soul of a 300-pound linebacker from Obetz, Ohio who lost out on his chance to be the only guy in town who owns a Chrysler Crossfire.

The way that game show fans feel about Wheel of Fortune is so well-documented it has sort of become a cliche. Wheel of Fortune is for a certain type of person, and shows like Jeopardy are for another type. I don't know if I agree with that.

There's something for game show fans in each show, whether you're solving a letter puzzle or trying to answer a question about ancient Rome or literature, though I can certainly see why one would appeal to a person and the other wouldn't. But I have to admit that I drifted away from Wheel of Fortune for many years because of contestants such as the one from last night's episode.

Studying was never my strong-suit. I always got by in college on my looks; that would explain why I was a C-student. Come to think of it, planning isn't either. Neither is getting enough REM sleep, keeping a clean house or (as you can see by my picture) sticking to a regular skin care regime.

So when it came to preparing for my Jeopardy! test, the same substandard habits applied. I could have started cracking the books at least a month ago when I first heard the website was holding online contestant tests at the Jeopardy! website. It just seemed like a huge mountain of knowledge to tame in one sitting. Plus, I had about 15 Tales from the Darkside episodes that my TiVo had taped and were about to go to waste.

So when it came time to crack the books and cram in as much information as my brain could hold, I not only had to make up for lost time.

Every apprentice who aims to journey on a quest fraught with peril and self-realization must seek someone with experience in facing it. He must consult with a man who not only has walked that road many times before, but has beaten it into submission until he emerged triumphant.

Hercules had to consult the Delphi Oracle if he wanted to avenge his family's death.

Rocky had to learn to trust Mickey if he wanted to defeat Apollo Creed.

Luke Skywalker had to find Yoda if he wanted to become a Jedi.

So if I wanted to achieve victory over the daunting behemoth of knowledge that is the Jeopardy! contestant test, I, too, would have to find an equally experienced and successful "Yoda" from the game show shire.

In short, Ken Jennings wasn't available but the Mace Windu of the Jeopardy! Council was.

If you've ever wanted to be a contestant on the legendary Jeopardy!, then get in line. It starts behind me. I already called dibs and stamped it.

Jeopardy! will conduct national online contestant tests this week on their official website. The tests will take place by timezone: Tuesday at 8 p.m. Eastern for people on the East Coast, Wednesday at 8 p.m. Central and 7 p.m. Mountain for residents in those time zones and Thursday at 8 p.m. for Pacific Coast, Alaska and Hawaii viewers.

As part of this annual game show tradition, I, your humble (not-so-much) TVSquad blogger Danny Gallagher, will also be one of the many, many people trying out for the most hallowed game show in the history of American broadcasting. And as always, you get to come along for the ride. Please keep all hands and arms inside the vehicle until my ego comes to a complete stop.

When I read AOL's Top 20 Best Game Shows of All Time, I pretty much agreed with all the choices. I might have moved Password up a bit, and dropped Who Wants to Be A Millionaire to a lower slot, but the one selection that really made me glower was The Price Is Right as number one.

No, no, not to me. For me, the only choice for numero uno is Jeopardy. It's not a game of chance or luck or random spins of a wheel. It's all about brains and thinking on your feet. And maybe having really fast thumbs. Merv Grifffin's creation remains the best gameshow ever in my book.

As I was thinking about Jeopardy, I realized that for me, the best Jeopardy is not today's Alex Trebek version. I mean, it's great -- don't misunderstand me. It's the one I still prefer to watch today, but my favorite Jeopardy remains the pre-syndication edition, the one that played on NBC daytime from 1964-1975. No, I'm not nuts. I have five very good reasons why I prefer the original, classic Jeopardy.

Hole in the Wall, this summer's latest Japanese game show ripoff, has announced its hosts. Actress Brooke Burns and L.A. weather anchor Mark Thompson will be presiding over Fox's version of human Tetris. Both have game show experience, with Burns having served as the host of Dog Eat Dog and Thompson providing the voiceover for Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

Hole is being brought to America by American Idol producers FremantleMedia North America and came to be after clips of the Japanese version became hugely popular on YouTube. Ellen DeGeneres also got a kick out of the Japanese competition, not only featuring several clips on her talk show, but even going so far as having audience members participate in her own version.

Oh, the humanity! Wheel of Fortune is not all frivolity and fun. Merv Griffin knew what he was doing when he created this venerable game show. Drama, ensues! You think it's so easy spinning the wheel, buying a vowel, laughing at Pat Sajak's jokes and ogling Vanna's gorgeous gait? Well, it's not. Under all that pressure you'd be surprised -- or maybe you wouldn't -- to see how some people simply come up short in the solution department. The letters all float together and instead of spelling a word you know as well as your own name, you pick the wrong consonant and you're WAH-WAHed in shame and regret. The fortune goes to the next player and you're left with egg on your face.

Watch these great examples and you'll see what I mean (a sample is after the jump). Like Jay Leno's simple "man in the street" questions about common knowledge, you see that there's no telling how stupid people can be, especially with a camera and microphone in their face.

[via digg]

For the pink tile ... it's Trivial Pursuit! The ultimate trivia challenge finally makes the leap back to the television airwaves [thanks posters-jh]. The upcoming syndicated Trivial Pursuit: America Plays has cleared 55% of the nation, including eight of the top 10 markets. What this means to you and me is it's virtually a lock that we'll be able to participate in this new show soon.

Yes, you read that right. The show will feature viewer submitted video questions. You could get your ugly mug ("No, no, not you ... you're beautiful ... I'm talking about the rest of them.") up on the screen asking your very own trivia question. Man, I hope they have a pretty hefty screening process for this. I don't want some redneck yahoo standing there in his cutoff jean shorts and too small high school football jersey yelling "How many interceptions did I make in the big game against the Duke County Daisies in '76? ... or was it '77?"

The third annual New York Television Festival is now taking place in the Big Apple. As we did last year, we will review each of the pilots in competition there. This is the first of those reviews.

Last year I decided not to review any of the pilots from the New York Television Festival, but this year curiosity got the better of me and I said yes.

I decided to review one of the comedy DVDs. More specifically, the one featuring a pilot with puppets. You know what I learned, Mable? I learned that if your plot is lame and contrived, having puppets as half your cast doesn't improve things at all. Let's get into it (you can view the pilots at MSN):

As you may or may not know, I have been on many game shows. I won $40,000 on Greed. I won a car, seven televisions and a buttload of other stuff on TV Land's Ultimate Fan Search. I won over a grand on To Tell The Truth and of course, I was on every episode of Beat the Geeks. Suffice it to say, I have plenty of experience with this game we call show. Recently Joel Keller wrote a piece chock full of information on where to apply to be on a gameshow, and while this information is certainly helpful, you should know that it's only the beginning. There are a multitude of Do's and Dont's to remember.

Let's start with the Do's...

I figured since I honored Elvis yesterday I might as well also pay homage to Groucho Marx. You may wonder what these two people have in common, and the answer is: absolutely nothing. However, they both died within three days of one another, and news of Elvis' death overshadowed Groucho's in many respects. Also, I just happen to be a big Marx Brothers fan. Their movies are still as funny today as when they were first released, proving that the best comedy never goes out of style.

Since this isn't a movie blog, it wouldn't make sense for me to stick a bunch of clips below from their many films, but I can show you a clip from Groucho's comedy game show You Bet Your Life. The game show began on the radio in the late '40s before moving to NBC TV in 1950. It ran until 1961, changing it's name to The Groucho Show near the very end. Two attempts were made to revive the game show: once in the '80s with Buddy Hackett as the host, and again in the '90s with Bill Cosby.