TVSquad

I've always enjoyed jingles, you know, those catchy commercial tunes that get in your head and never leave. "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." See, after all these years, it's still there. I wonder if Gene Simmons would have liked that McDonald's jingle?

We'll soon find out what the Kiss star likes in musical commercial craftsmanship because Gene Simmons has been tapped as one of the judges on the CBS reality show Jingles. It's a competition show, from producer Mark Burnett, he of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, Survivor and The Apprentice fame. We'll just forget about the ones that didn't fly, like On the Lot (that was painful to watch), Pirate Master (unwatchable) and Rock Star: INXS (truly a train wreck).

Jingles should be pretty challenging for contestants; it's hard to fake it when it comes to writing words and lyrics. The winner gets a contract with an advertising agency and $100,000.

I recently got over my infatuation with both Criss Angel: Mindfreak and Dog the Bounty Hunter, so maybe I should check out Gene Simmons: Family Jewels, which just recently got the greenlight for a 24-episode third season on A&E. The popular reality series is apparently only second to Dog the Bounty Hunter right now in regards to ratings.

The Simmons family have been described as a more functional version of The Osbournes, which sounds intriguing, but I've never been much of a KISS fan, nor have I ever had much interest in the perpetual self-promotion machine that is Gene Simmons. Also, while almost all "reality" programming is scripted to some degree, this one is "scripted" to the point where it's barely a reality series at all, or so I've heard, and so Variety writes, too.

This summer, filmmaking brothers Tony and Ridley Scott will begin production on a miniseries version of Michael Crichton's novel The Andromeda Strain for A&E. The brothers will executive produce the miniseries, which is being directed by Mikael Solomon (whose TV credits include Rome and Nightmares and Dreamscapes) and written by Robert Schenkkan (The Quiet American).

Crichton's novel was also made into a motion picture in 1971.

The miniseries could run as long as six hours. In addition, A&E has plans for more original series to air in 2008, including The Cleaner, about an addict who helps others kick their habit; Homestead, a cop drama; The Beast, an FBI drama; Takedown, a drama about U.S. Marshals; and Under, about a mob informant turned NY City cop.

Life can be rough in the world of basic cable. Lifetime has announced that comedy Lovespring International and crime drama Angela's Eyes, both of which debuted last summer, will not be returning to the network's line-up. Yes, the world weeps.

But, hey, you can turn that frown upside down because Gene Simmon's Family Jewels is coming back for a sophomore season on A&E. You can expect to see 20 new episodes of the Kiss frontman's wacky family exploits. This all leads me to think of whose family I'd really like to see get a reality television series. We've got Ozzy, Hulk Hogan, Rev. Run, the Gottis, the Carters and the family that is The Girls Next Door. Just floating this by the networks, but how about the Bush twins? We can see them get tossed out of foreign countries by Embassy workers. Or, what about something a little more Tenenbaum? Something with a household of child prodigies. I'll give this a little more thought - see what sticks over at VH1.