TVSquad

Isn't it time to leave Miss South Carolina alone and let the poor girl get on with her life? (Answer: no).

To help us all understand just what the teenage beauty pageant contestant was trying to say, late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel gives us a complete breakdown via chalkboard. He explains what she meant by "U.S. Americans," why the U.S. has to help the U.S., and says he knew a guy once who didn't own a map. Such as.

As a bonus, Kimmel explains why high school is like prison, with its beatings, bad food, and forced showering with other men. Full video after the jump!

(S02E12) In this review I mentioned that the character of Ms. Morello seemed to be switching from a dimwitted woman misinformed about black culture to your basic run-of-the-mill racist, and in this episode she wasn't much better, returning to a trip from Africa with a tiny bone for Chris he could put in his nose.

Now, if that's merely a choice on the part of the writers to have Ms. Morello completely oblivious to her own actions as a means of comic relief, that's their prerogative, but what I loved about her character from the early episodes is how she demonstrated that not all racism is blatant: sometimes you can have what seems like the best of intentions and still be completely wrong in your approach. Now, she's just another idiot.

(S02E06) This episode dealt with the line between faith and reason, which may be why I wasn't as drawn to it as other episodes. I thought it was a good episode, but the way in which the citizens of Moralton use fractured reasoning to explain their religious beliefs has been a major component of the show since it began. This episode merely brought that idea to the forefront, and while it was still funny, there wasn't much to surprise a fan like myself. I laughed several times, but was ultimately left with a feeling of "oh yeah, I knew they were gonna say that." That being said, this wouldn't be a bad episode to introduce someone to the show, as I think it's a great overview of the show and what it's trying to say.

I'm just old enough to remember watching Schoolhouse Rock on ABC, and getting all those catchy but educational songs stuck in my head. The series of shorts that popped up between cartoons on Saturday mornings was conceived by Thomas G. Yohe and based on the simple idea that rock lyrics stick in kids' minds easily, so why not make them educational? The series has become one of the defining pop cultural icons of Generation X, and YesButNoButYes has a brief history of the series and the men and women behind it, complete with video clips. The piece mentions Jack Sheldon (the "I'm Just a Bill" guy) lent his voice to an episode of Family Guy, but it forgets to mention he was also the voice of the "Amendment To Be" in an episode of The Simpsons: "There's a lot of flag burners / who have too much freedom / I wanna make it legal for policemen / to beat 'em." It's a great bit of TV history, definitely worth checking out.

High on the list of things none of you probably care about is the fact that Grover is my favorite Muppet of all time. He and I even share a birthday (it's true). What I love about Grover, besides his lovable furriness, is how willing he is to do himself bodily harm in the name of education. After the jump I've placed five clips of Grover doing what he does best: teaching kids no matter how much physical punishment it causes him. Now let's all learn together, shall we?

I really need to read Joel Stein more often because the man is quite an entertaining read. In his latest column he takes a few shots at Elmo, which may seem like the equivalent of a grown man kicking a preschooler in the face, and it is, but he does seem to have a legitimate beef with the little red Muppet. Now, I usually dismiss tirades against Elmo as uniformed, because most of them accuse him of being somewhat low in IQ compared to the other Muppets on Sesame Street. The thing is, Elmo's character was evolved from a background character in such a way as to give him the mentality of a preschool age or younger child, someone the toddlers could relate to while their older siblings enjoyed other aspects of the show. Stein sees that as a real problem, however. To him, and to Wonder Showzen creators Vernon Chatman and John Lee, who he also quotes in his column, Elmo is a solipsistic creature infinitely infatuated with himself. As Stein puts it, "We are breeding a nation of Anna Nicole Smiths." Being 29 with no kids, I don't follow Sesame Street that closely anymore, but like a rock band that's way past its prime, it sounds like the show's glory days are way behind it now.

(S01E18) If you bail Chris out every time he doesn't like something, that means he's going to run to you every time he has a problem, which means he'll never learn how to be a man. And if you can't teach him to be a man that means you're a bad father. And if you're a bad father, that means I picked the wrong husband. And if you think I'm about to let people run around here talking about "I just marry anybody" you must be out your damn mind. -- Chris' mom

Last night's episode was directed by creator and narrator Chris Rock. This is the first time he's helmed an episode since the show debuted last year.

We've known since the first episode that Chris doesn't get along with anyone at his school, including the faculty, save for his friend Greg and one teacher who mistakenly sees Chris as an endless font of information on black history and culture. After being duped into an ambush in which he's bombarded with water balloons filled with white paint, Chris asks his parents to let him transfer to a new school. His mother wants Chris to tough it out, but she eventually caves in. Of course, once Chris realizes he could actually be stabbed to death at his new school rather than just punched out on occasion, he decides to go with the lesser of two evils and returns to his old school.