TVSquad

Back in January, Jay Black put his hetero-manliness on the line to confess his five mancrushes, and he is to be commended. Honestly, I've been kicking around a list of my own heterosexual girlcrushes for a really long time but I never got around to putting it into a The Five post because I couldn't narrow it down. So, instead of taking the psychoanalytic path and trying to figure out what this dilemma indicated about my subconscious, I ignored the issue and left my unusually long list to collect dust. Ah, but now TV Squad has grown and we can make lists as long as we want! So, I will.

It still took me a long time to narrow this down to a respectable number, but I've finally succeeded... Ladies and gentlemen, this is the list of my seven and a half heterosexual girlcrushes (TV Edition).

Hey, boys and girls that enjoy cartoon violence! The new season of The Venture Bros. finally hits Adult Swim on June 25 (10:30 PM EST). You can catch it on TV like everyone else... or you can be the coolest kid on your block and watch the first episode, "Powerless in the Face of Death", a whole two days early! Simply visit AdultSwim.com's Adult Swim Fix on Friday the 23rd between the hours of 6 PM and 6 AM EST and enjoy. After you watch the premiere and have a cigarette to calm yourself down, you can check out three other premieres (Tom Goes to the Mayor, Eureka Seven, and Minoriteam), or just skip that whole last part and head on over to creator Jackson Publick's blog and show him some love.

It was about a week ago. Late at night. Insomnia had wretchedly peeled back my eyelids. I forced myself to stay in bed and try to get some sleep, but I allowed the TV to stay on. Adult Swim gently blinked on the screen. After a few more hours, I could feel insomnia letting up. Finally. Sleep. The shadows on my wall danced to the changing images on the screen. Ah. A commercial about Saved By The Bell coming to Adult Swim -- Wait a second. Saved By The Bell? On a late-night cartoon channel? I panicked. The shadows on the wall surrounded me. The commercial was still on the screen. I helplessly flailed my arms. Immediately, my limbs became tangled in my sheets. My mind raced. "Does not compute! Does not compute!" And that was when my spinal column leapt up and throttled my brain. True story.

I wasn't hallucinating, and neither were you. Adult Swim really is going to air a bunch of Saved By The Bell episodes. No joke. They've just announced a schedule (and I see they've put [crappy 1980's live action tv show network] at the bottom right hand corner during some of their programming). I have yet to hear a good explanation as to why they're doing this instead of doing a Venture Bros. marathon and making me a happy girl, but I'm sure it's all part of Adult Swim's master plan to take over the world. Or they're just being silly.