TVSquad

If you're scratching your head and asking "Sanjaya Who?" then you probably don't own a TV, or a computer for that matter. For two months, Sanjaya-hysteria ruled our television airwaves (sometimes three times a week). Thanks to a little show called American Idol, Sanjaya became one of the breakout reality TV stars of 2007.

Like many breakout reality TV stars, Sanjaya Malakar was able to successfully steal the spotlight from his more worthy opponents, gliding by on personality and charisma. He's living proof that a winning grin and luscious locks can sometimes take you a lot farther than actual talent.

The boys didn't do too well with the music of Diana Ross on this week's Idol. Perhaps, next week they'll do better when they sing hit songs from the 1960s British pop invasion.

Special guests Lulu and Peter Noone will prepare the remaining 11 contestants for Tuesday's show (March 20) and then perform live on Wednesday (March 21). Lulu is scheduled to sing "To Sir With Love," while Noone will sing "There's a Kind of Hush."

Peter Noone (whom I really want to call "Herman") writes about his upcoming guest appearance on his blog, saying "I am getting excited about my coaching job on American Idol. I get to hang with my really good friend Lulu who was my teenage heartthrob and we once had a date."

(S06E21) There's no big surprise tonight. As predicted by AOL's latest poll, it was time for Brandon's journey to end. You know, when it goes the way you expect it to go, it's kind of anti-climatic. How anti-climatic was it? Even Brandon said he "expected" to be going home.

Did America get it right this week? Oddly, the judges didn't say. In fact, they didn't say much tonight. Like I said, we all expected Brandon to go. But still, didn't you expect Paula to weep, and offer him final words of inspiration?

Many were shocked when Sanjaya advanced to the Top 12, while Sundance was sent packing last week. But apparently no one was more shocked than Simon Cowell, who said he'll quit the show, if Sanjaya is crowned the next American Idol.

Simon warned, "He's not going to win. I won't be back if he does!"

Last night, Sanjaya gave another monotone performance, droning out "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" while sporting Justin Guarini's bouncy hair. Simon snarked, "When you hear a wail in Beverly Hills, that is where Diana Ross is watching this show."

(S06E20) The Top 12 has been decided, and it's time for the competition to heat up. The show has moved to a bigger stage, and has a bigger band, and a bigger (and louder) crowd. Ryan is yelling, as if to prove that things really are more exciting now.

The guys and girls compete on the same night for the first time since the contest began. The judges all agree that the girls are ahead of the guys so far, but believe anything can happen at this stage.

However, besides being better singers, the girls get a lucky break. It seems logical that the girls will have an easier time than the boys singing the music of Diana Ross and The Supremes. There's also a lot of "old-fashioned belters" in the women's group, and they know how to sell a classic Motown song. The boys, on the other hand, with their hipper, more contemporary singing styles, have a harder time interpreting these classics. The ladies own the night, with Jordin, Melinda, and LaKisha giving the three best performances.

American Idol has an impressive guest list of artists for the rest of this season. Guests include Tony Bennett, Bon Jovi, Barry Gibb, Jennifer Lopez, Lulu, Martina McBride, Peter Noone, Diana Ross, and Gwen Stefani. Looking at that list, it's pretty obvious there will be themes including disco, rock, pop, '50s, country, and lounge.

First of all, I'd love to see Diana Ross be a guest judge. I think her zanyness could rival Paula's and maybe even make Paula look sober.

I think the biggest 'get' is Gwen Stefani, who is on top of her game right now. I guess she knows where her fans are. There's no doubt (har, har) that Gwen's young fans are the same people who watch Idol.

Unfortunately, it doesn't look as though any of these celebrities will actually perform. Idol's press release lists the celebs as "coaches" and "guests". So... they'll be helping performers choose and prepare songs and probably also be guest judges. Performers scheduled for this season are former Idol contestants Carrie Underwood and Kellie Pickler.

Starting tomorrow evening, Bravo's Inside the Actors Studio will celebrate Black History Month with repeats of episodes featuring Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, Dave Chappelle, Jamie Foxx, Forrest Whitaker and Queen Latifah. On February 19 at 8 p.m., a new two-hour episode will feature Diana Ross in an exclusive interview with host James Lipton. Ross will also perform some of her songs during the episode. The schedule is below:

• Eddie Murphy: February 5 at 7 p.m.
• Will Smith: February 11 at 2 p.m.
• Dave Chappelle: February 12 at 6 p.m.
• Jamie Foxx: February 12 at 8 p.m.
• Diana Ross: February 19 at 8 p.m.
• Forrest Whitaker: February 20 at 4 p.m.
• Queen Latifah: February 26 at 9 a.m.

Despite so-called rumors, singer Diana Ross will not be doing a cameo role on ABC's Desperate Housewives, nor was she ever approached by anyone involved with the show about doing such a cameo. I've done some exhaustive research to find out just why the creators of Desperate Housewives never approached Ross about appearing on the series, and after speaking with experts, going over large amounts of data, and meditating naked inside a cave, I came to the conclusion that no one cares about Diana Ross anymore. Although, if she wanted to keep at least one toe in the spotlight she should just make up rumors about being on other shows, too. Next she could try denying she was ever asked to appear on Meet the Press to discuss exit strategies in Iraq. If she were on Meet the Press I'm sure advice to president Bush would be to stop the conflict (in the name of love). Lame joke, I know, but it's not like I had much to work with.

There isn't an event I look forward to more than the U.S. Open (the tennis one, not the golf one). For two weeks, USA has over 10 hours of coverage each and every day, and it's like I'm in a wonderland. I'm glued to the set for two straight weeks, and there's nothing that can pull me away, not even getting a guy who likes to snort coke and make rude sexual remarks to women to host CBS' late night wrapup shows.

The Insider's Pat O'Brien will host CBS' 12:35am daily highlights show the second week of the Open. Ugh.

But whatever. One less thing to watch at 12:35 in the morning I guess. In other news, Diana Ross will sing at the opening night ceremonies, next Monday on USA. The night will include appearances by John McEnroe, Jimmy Connors, Chris Evert, Venus Williams, and NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and they will rename the tennis center for veteran player Billie Jean King.