TVSquad

• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing with the Stars, then a new Boston Legal.
• CBS has a new Big Bang Theory at 8, followed by new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Worst Week, and CSI: Miami.
• FOX has new episodes of Sarah Connor Chronicles and Prison Break.
• NBC has the season premiere of Chuck at 8, then a new Heroes and the season premiere of Life.
• There's a new Gossip Girl on The CW at 8, followed by a new One Tree Hill.
• At 8:30, ESPN has Monday Night Football, the Ravens vs. the Steelers.
• At 9, USA has a new Monday Night RAW.
• Food Network has a new Unwrapped at 9.
• At 10, TNT has a new Raising the Bar.
• Food Network has a new Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives at 10.
• MTV has a new episode of The Hills at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing with the Stars, followed by David Blaine: Dive of Death.
• CBS has the season premiere of Old Christine at 8, then the series premiere of Gary Unmarried and the season premieres of Criminal Minds and CSI: NY.
• NBC has the series premiere of Knight Rider at 8, then a new America's Got Talent and the season premiere of Lipstick Jungle.
• FOX has new episodes of Bones, 'Til Death, and Do Not Disturb.
• The CW has a new America's Next Top Model at 8.
• At 9, PBS has a new American Masters.
• Bravo has a new Project Runway at 9, then a new Top Design.
• There's a new MonsterQuest on History Channel at 9.
• Also at 9: Sundance Channel has a new Architecture School.
• At 9:30, A&E has a new Dog The Bounty Hunter, followed by a new Criss Angel Mindfreak.
• At 10, Food Network has a new Dinner: Impossible.
• At 10:30, Comedy Central has a new Lewis Black's Root Of All Evil.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

• At 8, CBS has the season premiere of NCIS, followed by the series premiere of The Mentalist and the season premiere of Without A Trace.
• ABC has the series premiere of Opportunity Knocks at 8, then a new, two-hour Dancing with the Stars.
• FOX has new episodes of House and Fringe.
• NBC has a new, two-hour Biggest Loser at 8, followed by the season premiere of Law and Order: SVU.
• ABC Family has a new Lincoln Heights at 8, then a new Greek.
• Also at 8: ESPN has two new episodes of The World Series of Poker.
• At 9, PBS has a new American Masters.
• There's a new Eureka on Sci-Fi at 9, then a new ECW.
• Food Network has a new Food Detectives at 9, followed by a new Road Tasted with The Neelys.
• At 10, FX has a new episode of The Shield.
• Travel Channel has a new Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

• At 8, NBC has the Heroes Countdown special at 8, followed by the two-hour Heroes season premiere.
• ABC has the two-hour season premiere of Dancing with the Stars at 8, then the season premiere of Boston Legal.
• FOX has a new Sarah Connor Chronicles at 8, followed by a new Prison Break.
• CBS has the season premiere of Big Bang Theory at 8, then the season premieres of How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men, the series premiere of Worst Week, and the season premiere of CSI: Miami.
• The CW has new episodes of Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill.
• E!'s Fashion Police discuss the Emmy dresses at 8.
• At 8:30, HGTV has a new Curb Appeal.
• Food Network has a new How'd That Get On My Plate at 8:30, then a new Unwrapped.
• At 9, USA has a new Monday Night RAW.
• At 10, TNT has a new Raising The Bar.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

When CBS presented their upfront last May, one of the more intriguing dramas was a murder mystery/slasher film/whodunit about a wedding party on a Seattle island. It was called Harper's Island and projected for mid-season. The preview played like a cross between Ten Little Indians and Twin Peaks to me, and I liked what I saw. I certainly plan on giving it a try when it shows up on CBS.

It's still slated for early 2009, only now the actor playing the groom's loud, fun-loving and duplicitous uncle is going to be Harry Hamlin. He has been added to the Harper's Island cast as Marty.

No, it's not going away. The reality television genre is growing even stronger as it becomes the umbrella for shows ranging from the traditional reality "game" shows like Survivor or The Apprentice, to actual game shows, to real life drama such as The First 48 or Intervention to talent contests and beyond.

What I'll be doing here is taking a look at some of the current newsworthy bits from recently-aired shows, checking out upcoming shows, and sharing the latest reality TV gossip. Is it real or is it just reality TV? As long as I'm entertained, that's all I ask of any show, scripted or not. Are you game? Join me beyond the jump.

"Oh, goodness. Is this where they do Dancing with the Stars?"
-- Willie Ray Johnson, Brenda's momma

(S04E08) Here was an episode that epitomized what I like about The Closer. This was an excellent mystery. It was complicated and drew you into the chase. Like Brenda, you're wondering how it was done, why and by whom.

Of course, it didn't seem like it was going to be a heavy duty episode, not when the opening was all about Willie Ray and Clay's unexpected visit. That damn RV has brought Brenda's parents cross-country, even with gas at $4 a gallon!

Don't get me wrong, I like Barry Corbin and Frances Sternhagen. They're great actors, but the roles are so broadly drawn. The show uses them for comic relief, even though they can do drama brilliantly. The scenes at the film studio were too jokey to me, especially in light of the heinous crime scene that Brenda was investigating.

The murder reminded me of the O.J. Simpson case. It looked like Ryan -- an actor with anger management issues -- was the murderer. He lied and had a history of beating his wife. The sight of him with the gym bag and then those black gloves were all vaguely reminiscent of O.J. Of course, since he was the prime suspect, I never thought that he was the killer. Too obvious.

Dancing With the Stars is a show that makes no sense to me. I understand the appeal of it; I'm usually very interested in any program that involves celebrities doing ridiculous things on national television and I know that people love bright shiny costumes, but it still somehow manages to hold no interest for me whatsoever.

With that said, I know that the announcement of each season's DWTS cast is heavily anticipated and rumored for months before the actual announcement. We heard that Dan Marino may be a contestant; a claim that was soon denied. 82-year-old Cloris Leachman was another name floated, as was Magnum, P.I. himself, Tom Selleck. Kim Kardashian and Kathy Griffin were also said to have been approached.

As with most rumors, some of these turned out to be false, but others had some truth to them. Follow me after the jump for the official (and completely insane) cast of Dancing With the Stars' seventh season, along with some twists the producers have cooked up for this go-around.

Our Monday morning roundup of a half dozen things TV Squad readers - and TV fans in general - will be talking about this week.


1. Democratic National Convention. Some viewers will be saying "hey, I'm interested in what Obama and Biden have to say," while others are saying "hey, this is interrupting my favorite show!" (All this week on various stations, including CNN, MSNBC, FOX News, and C-SPAN.)

2. The late night shows return. Finally, Letterman, Leno, Conan and the others are back after vacations and the Olympics. All except Carson Daly, of course.

3. The Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon. Laaaadeeee! Is Ed McMahon going to cohost this year? (Sunday starting at 9pm on various stations - check local listings.)

4. The new cast of Dancing with the Stars revealed. I still want to see Andy Dick on this show. (Unveiled on Good Morning America this morning...actually, probably right about now.)

5. The U.S. Open. It's amazing how much this is on, taking up the entire programming schedule on USA Network. But that's a good thing! (All week on USA, from 11am to 6pm, then from 7pm to late night.)

6. The season premiere of Greek. The horrible summer is almost over, Labor Day is here, and the new fall season has begun. (Tuesday at 9 on ABC Family.)

In general, you could mark me down as a fan of reality TV. I've never missed Survivor, written thousands of words about Dancing With The Stars and So You Think You Can Dance, and despite what my daily uniform of jeans, t-shirt, and Chuck Taylors would suggest, I even watch Project Runway. The one show I actively root against though, is Moment Of Truth.

I just can't find anything to like about the show, from the concept right on through to the execution. It's with that in mind that I excitedly clicked on the entry in my feed reader telling me that Hole In The Wall was replacing it. Hosted by Brooke Burns (Dog Eat Dog), Hole In The Wall is the latest incarnation of a game popularized in Japan. Before the jump to the US there were already successful adaptations in a number of other countries.

The success has a lot to do with the simplicity of the concept. A wall, with a shape cut in it, moves toward the contestants and they have to contort their body to pass through the hole or be swept into the water. As they fail to do so, hilarity ensues, hopefully. Get a look for yourself, after the jump.

I knew it! In fact, in the comments to Bob's post about who was rumored to be booked for the new season of Dancing with the Stars, I wrote the following: "I love Dan Marino. He's always been one of my all time favorites, but he was known for his arm and quick release, not his footwork!! If Danny is one of the contestants, only his blue eyes will keep him on past round one. I think In Touch is out of touch about this name!"

Well, today Dan Marino's spokesman officially denied the rumor. While Dan was watching the Miami Dolphins scrimmage, his rep told the press that for every year since the show began, Dancing with the Stars has invited Dan Marino to find the dancer in his soul, and every year he's turned them down. Good for Dan.

What's happening on other blogs via the interweb.

• What Would Don Draper Do?
• Excellent! Robert Forster to play the Petrelli dad on Heroes.
• Mark Burnett has countersued the guy that was suing him.
• Check out the first single from David Archuleta's debut album.
• In advance of tonight's season finale of Robin Hood, Richard Armitage answers your questions.
• Help save Mister Rogers!
• Will Lance Bass get a male dancing partner on Dancing with the Stars?
• Which former ER star is coming back to the show in October?

Kathy Griffin may be the ultimate D-lister, but the Emmy-winning star of Bravo's reality hit Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List, is really a smart cookie in my book. She told TV's Extra that she turned down Dancing with the Stars, a top-drawer, sort of B-list opportunity. "I have a hard offer for Dancing with the Stars," she revealed, adding that it's not for her. "I can't even touch my toes!"

Now, before you think Kathy was being haughty or superior, to me she was just being smart. While appearing on Dancing with the Stars would be a great chance for exposure, appearing on DWTS is one of the toughest gigs in show business. I hand it to Kathy for knowing her limitations. The kind of physical workout involved is just too much, especially if you figure that you're likely to embarrass yourself. I mean, what did a stint on DWTS do for Penn Jillette?

The remaining panels on ABC's first day were for Eli Stone, the Ashton Kutcher-produced game show Opportunity Knocks, and a panel for the upcoming Country Music Association events on the network. For the latter panel, Julianne Hough, who has twice partnered with the celebrity champion of Dancing with the Stars, sang a few songs from her current country album. Pretty girl. Nice voice. Dancer's body. But that's all I can say about the panel, because I bolted shortly after she was done singing.

The Eli Stone panel featured the entire cast along with executive producers Greg Berlanti (who seems to be producing two-thirds of ABC's scripted dramas) and Marc Guggenheim. Surprisingly enough, there was only one question about the presence of Katie Holmes as a guest star this season. The reason why she's there is a shock -- they brought her in to get ratings! Will wonders never cease?

Jerry Springer and Mel B will host the 2008 Miss Universe Pageant live from Vietnam. Both Springer and the former "Scary Spice" are excited about the pageant. Mel B, former contestant on Dancing with the Stars, exclaims, "I'm thrilled to be a co-host of the Miss Universe Pageant. I believe the diversity and dedication that the pageant brings inspires and empowers young women across the globe." Springer, host of the hit summer show America's Got Talent, is also happy to take on the hosting duties. He says, ""This is obviously a great honor and getting to work alongside Mel B makes it even better."

The competition will feature contestants from eighty countries. Each pageant hopeful will be judged on three categories: swimsuit (the eye-candy category), evening gown (the shameless endorsement category) , and interview (the "We swear, we didn't just want to see them in swimsuits." category). Last year's winner Riyo Mori of Japan will be on hand to crown this year's Miss Universe.

The Miss Universe Pageant will air on July 13th at 9:00 p.m. ET on NBC (and simulcast on Telemundo).