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Review: Two and a Half Men - Gord. Fnark. Schmegle.

two_and_a_half_men_charlie_girls
(S07E08)
Last week, I wasn't thrilled with the CBS Monday night sitcom schedule. In fact, I thought all four shows were a bit off, and more than a few readers thought I was off the rails for speaking my mind. Fortunately -- for me -- this week's shows were back on track and I have only good things to say. That's especially true about Two and a Half Men. Seven years into the show, an episode like this one stands out as very original and really funny.

This was also the episode in which Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer guested as Chelsea's old college roommate. That's not a spoiler; that's in the picture. More about the show -- including spoilers -- after the jump.

Continue reading Review: Two and a Half Men - Gord. Fnark. Schmegle.

Review: Two and a Half Men - For the Sake of the Child

charlie_sheen_two_cbs(S07E05) If there's anything that will make you look bad, it's driving lessons. That's whether you're the driver or the instructor. In my experience, driving lessons are like a big magnifying glass revealing everything in too sharp a focus. And so it was that Jake had the misfortune of trying to get some time behind the wheel with the peanut gallery of Charlie and Alan offering advice in between hurling insults at each other.

But the real horror was still to come. Alan and Charlie have been brothers for their entire lives, but the past six and a half years of living together has turned them into something foul. Jake didn't know how foul until they went for ice cream. More after the jump.

Continue reading Review: Two and a Half Men - For the Sake of the Child

Two and a Half Men meet Tricia Helfer

Tricia_Helfer_USATricia Helfer is a really, really good actress. Before she was killed on Burn Notice, I wanted her dead for what she did to Michael. On Battlestar Galactica, as Six, she was a stone cold Cylon killer. She's very good at convincing me that she's dangerous. But can she do comedy? Hmm ... I guess we're going to find out. Tricia Helfer will guest on Two and a Half Men in an upcoming episode.

According to Michael Ausiello of EW.com, Tricia will be playing a good friend of Charlie's fiancee, Chelsea, who has recently ended a bad relationship. As an act of kindness, Chelsea asks her to come out to Malibu for a visit.

Continue reading Two and a Half Men meet Tricia Helfer

Two and a Half Men: Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Charlie_Two_and_A_Half_Men(S07E04) If you didn't know it before, Alan Harper is an idiot. Tonight's episode epitomized just how far Alan will go to get some action and how clueless he is when it comes to the consequences of those actions. Of course, that's the joke. He's a schleimel and prone to falling on his ass and breaking his nose, metaphorically.

So while Alan was looking for somewhere to have hot, erectile-medication induced sex with Melissa because she won't go back to the beach house -- not since Chelsea and her had it out -- Charlie was playing referee to Chelsea and Jake. Alan tried sex with the tiny blonde in the car, noting that, "You were sort of built for it." She walked out on Alan, right out of the car.

Continue reading Two and a Half Men: Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Two and a Half Men: Mmm, fish. Yum.

jon_cryer_cbs(S07E03) So far this season, Two and a Half Men has been sailing along, continuing to provide plenty of laughs and just enough vulgarity to keep its crown as a raunchy pleasure. Tonight, however, they hit an iceberg. Too bad really, but half the show -- no pun intended -- was spot on. If only the other half had been as good.

For some reason, the writers have this idea that Alan as the object of affection to older women is funny. No, not really. It didn't work when Carol Kane guested as the mother of a girl Alan was dating and it didn't work tonight with Annie Potts as Judith's mother, Lenore.

Continue reading Two and a Half Men: Mmm, fish. Yum.

Emmy Wish List: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)I know what many of you are thinking. Alec Baldwin is probably gonna win for 30 Rock again so what does it even matter? Hollywood is in love with that show. Which is true, but not entirely undeserved. Baldwin still commands a scene like almost no one on television. But I don't think he was as dominating a comedic force as last year, and he was part of a 30 Rock sweep, so I don't think Emmy intends to repeat that.

Pushing Daisies was still sweet in its last year, but I'm going to have to snub Lee Pace and replace him with Chuck's Zachary Levi on the ballot. He balances comedy and drama so convincingly you can't help but root for him.

But there was a looming shadow in comedy this year that no one could escape. I don't see how Emmy could ignore the work of Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory. He's so convincing in the role that when you see him in interviews you fully expect him to demand his spot on the couch and condescend the host at every turn.

Continue reading Emmy Wish List: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Fishburne is the $14 million man

larry fishburneWhen William Petersen left CSI, he left a very, very cushy job. He was making a cool $600,000 per episode, more than Kiefer Sutherland was getting for 24, but not quite as much as Charlie Sheen was taking home for Two and a Half Men ($825,000 per show).

Well, CSI decided not to skimp when they cast Laurence Fishburne to assume the star spot on the crime drama. Fishburne is earning more than $14 million for this season of CSI. (So much for a recession!)

Continue reading Fishburne is the $14 million man

Renewals for both Big Bang and Two and a Half Men - VIDEO

Two and a Half MenCBS has given renewals to both The Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men. Anybody tracking the ratings of either show shouldn't be surprised at this news. In fact, Two and a Half Men was picked up for three more years and The Big Bang Theory for two. I guess CBS' Monday nights are taken care of for the next couple of years.

While I haven't been following Two and a Half Men (I don't think I'm the target demographic), I do catch an episode of The Big Bang Theory time to time and get a good chuckle out of it. A recent favorite of the show involved the guest appearance of the delicious and shiny Summer Glau as herself (video follows after the jump).

Continue reading Renewals for both Big Bang and Two and a Half Men - VIDEO

Charlie Sheen wants you to buy his shirts

sheenIf you're a regular -- or even an irregular -- Two and a Half Men watcher, you've probably noticed that Charlie Sheen's character, Charlie Harper, has a very distinctive look. You might call it immature, if you're nasty, or eclectic, if you're nice, but it is memorable. I've always thought the look was a reflection of the real Charlie Sheen, and now we're going to find out if I'm right.

Charlie Sheen has created the DaVinci Collection, a clothing line focusing on short-sleeved, button front shirts with a retro flair. The prices will be $59 to $79 each and the description strikes me as very much like Charlie Harper's wardrobe.

Continue reading Charlie Sheen wants you to buy his shirts

Emilio Estevez to visit bro Charlie on Two and a Half Men

SheensWhen family members appear on each other's TV shows -- if they're a show biz family, of course -- sometimes the results are great. And sometimes they're not. Jerry Van Dyke appeared twice on The Dick Van Dyke Show as Rob's brother Stacey, and he was terrific. (Much better than he was on My Mother The Car).

Tyne Daly popped up on Wings, playing scenes with her brother Tim, and again, it worked out great. On the other hand, when Martin Sheen guested on Two and a Half Men in 2005, it was a dud. I don't know, maybe comedy really isn't Martin Sheen's forte.

Fortunately, Charlie Sheen isn't above trying again. Charlie's brother Emilio Estevez is going to do a guest turn on Two and a Half Men in an upcoming episode. They won't be playing brothers, but Emilio will be one of Charlie's best buddies from times gone by.

Continue reading Emilio Estevez to visit bro Charlie on Two and a Half Men

Hugh Laurie gets a big raise

House on gurneyHe hasn't won an Emmy (although that might change in a little over a week from now) and he's not going to win People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive (although I think he very attractive), but at least Hugh Laurie, the star of Fox's House, is being rewarded in another way -- the wallet.

Laurie is getting a raise in salary to $400,000 an episode. That's not as much as 24's Kiefer Sutherland ($500,000) or CSI's William Petersen ($600,000) or Two and a Half Men's Charlie Sheen ($825,000), but it's pretty darn good.

Whether you think Charlie is worth that much money or Bill (who's actually only going to be in half the shows on CSI in 2008-2009) or Kiefer, for that matter, but Hugh Laurie has earned this raise. He's the center of House, the most important character, and there is no show without him.

Continue reading Hugh Laurie gets a big raise

Not so complicated after all - Denise Richards' show axed

Denise on beachIn terms of compelling celebrity reality shows, Denise Richards thought she had a great story to tell. Her life seemed very complicated, what with her fights with ex-husband Charlie Sheen and their legal wrangling over their children, it seemed like a compelling product.

Umm...no, it wasn't.

Today, E! pulled the plug on Denise Richards It's Complicated, her attempt to keep up with the Kardashians and outdo the Hogans. The bottom line with Denise's show was that it really wasn't that complicated. It was dull.

Her family appeared as her supporting players, including her father who -- like his children -- is still mourning the loss of his wife, Denise's mom. Those moments in the show were sad, but a little went a long way.

Denise's getting in the middle of the employment issues with her assistants was hardly great TV, nor was watching Denise driving in Beverly Hills. And, yes, the ratings were declining week after week.

Continue reading Not so complicated after all - Denise Richards' show axed

TV's highest paid stars, starting with Charlie Sheen

Charlie SheenOn Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen plays a vulgar playboy, a shallow guy who's more interested in booze, women and having a good time than being responsible and working hard. The role has earned him a couple of Emmy nominations and a lot of money. A lot of money. In fact, in a new poll from TV Guide, Charlie Sheen is the highest paid actor on TV, making $825,000 per episode; in a season of 23 shows, that comes out to nearly $20 million.

That's more than he could make in the movies, and unlike films, Charlie can keep on raking it in on Two and a Half Men for years. The show is a huge hit in syndication, so more episodes will simply mean more money down the road.

Right behind Charlie on the list is fellow CBS leading man, CSI's William Petersen. He's making $600,000 an episode. He's only doing ten episodes this season, but since he's also an executive producer on the series, he's probably making even more.

Continue reading TV's highest paid stars, starting with Charlie Sheen

Jon Cryer not counting on that Emmy

Two and a half men couchDon't get him wrong; Jon Cryer is thrilled to be nominated for an Emmy again. This is his third nomination as Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series as Alan Harper, the sad sack, divorced brother of Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. In 2006 and 2007, he lost to Jeremy Piven, Ari Gold on Entourage, and Jon Cryer is ticked off: "Laugh all you want, [he] is my nemesis. He's a force of nature."

If it's not Piven -- again! -- Jon has another nemesis lined up: "I think this time Neil Patrick Harris (Barney on How I Met Your Mother) will win."

Cryer is good natured about his chances and not seriously miffed. He's planning to bring his new wife, entertainment reporter Lisa Joyner. "When we heard the news, she was thrilled for a moment, then filled with dread as she started to worry about what she'll wear. But she'll be there with me -- or I'll be very lonely."

Continue reading Jon Cryer not counting on that Emmy

Charlie Sheen weds Wife #3

Mueller and SheenCharlie Sheen has married Wife #3. The 42 year old television star married real estate investor Brooke Mueller this past Friday night. The couple have been engaged since last summer.

Sheen has starred in several movies and is currently starring in the Nielsen top-10 rated show Two and a Half Men. "She's just easy, and loving, and smart, and if everybody was just as happy to see me when I walk through a door as her, my life would be perfect," he said soon after the couple got engaged.

He is currently involved in a bitter custody battle with his ex-wife and soon-to-be-reality TV star of the E! show It's Complicated, Denise Richards. They got married in 2002 and divorced in 2006. Sheen was also briefly married to model Donna Peele in 1995.

All I can say is congratulations and best of luck to Sheen and Mueller. It's difficult to make marriages work, and even more difficult with Hollywood marriages.

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