TVSquad

Ever notice how goofy celebrities seem to gravitate towards each other? Ok, me either, but maybe that's because most celebrities are goofy in one way or another.

Got a note from CBS tonight with a fun little advance tidbit from The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Carrie Fisher tells a story about her brush with Michael Jackson, who was laid to rest today.

"They came to me to go on a travel junket for talking about Michael (Jackson), because I was with him on his last Christmas," the actress tells Ferguson. "”It was fantastic. He had a big tree, and I did the Princess Leia monologue for his children. Yeah, I got paid. …No, no, I got paid nothing. But I got a lot of it, and also he got me a cell phone.”"

Where would we be without the hallowed television Christmas special? We would be engaged in enthralling conversations with relatives who like to give the backstory about the gall bladder operation pictures they still carry in their wallet. We would be playing defense against every breakable item in the house while the neighbor's kids get enough sugar in their systems to power the Space Shuttle. We would not only have to muster the courage to taste Grandma's homemade rum and Kahula fruitcake, but also to pretend that we like it without our stomach turning inside out, crawling up our esophagus and out of our mouth.

Even if those scenarios will be true for you on Dec. 25, I offer you my pity as my Christmas gift. Plus, you still would rather spend it listening to ol' Uncle Hernia Scar than watching one of these holiday hams.

Alec Baldwin is a very complicated, very smart, and very talented guy. In two interviews just a month or so apart this fall, he was complaining about his career, contemplating other things he wanted to do with his life ... and that was all before winning the Emmy for 30 Rock.

Whatever he envisions for a professional life away from acting, if that's to be the case, Alec Baldwin has signed on to co-host Turner Classic Movies' The Essentials, a weekly analysis of a classic movie with co-host Robert Osborne. The show, which airs every Saturday at 8 p.m., most recently featured actress Rose McGowan, and before her Carrie Fisher and Molly Haskell shared the duties with Osborne.

It's one of my favorite TCM programs, giving the hosts a chance to set up a great movie, offer commentary and stimulate conversation. Considering the fact that Alec is very opinionated and pretty funny, he should add a lot to The Essentials.

(S02E04) Notice I don't have a quote above like I usually do? More on that after the jump.

This week we discover what happens when one of the NBC page jackets is damaged, why Tracy shouldn't be involved in dogfighting, and what might happen to Liz in 20 or 30 years if she doesn't start saving money.

(S03E03) We learned many important things on Weeds tonight:

1. You can't make $12,500 off a brick.
2. The cock wants what it wants.
3. Fish have internal testicles.

Weeds is like the anti-Entourage. Instead of tying everything up in a neat, happy little bow by the end of the episode (Kanye Ex Machina, anyone?), everything goes to pot. (Oh yeah, I'm punny.) Seriously, could things get any worse for the Botwins?

(S01E17) I'm praying that those of us still watching this show witnessed the series finale of On The Lot and not a season finale.

If this show ever gets a second season, I may be forced to boycott all future Burnett and Spielberg productions, and I really want to see the next Survivor and Jurassic Park IV. Well, maybe not so much Jurassic Park IV.

Anyhow, take all the things you disliked about this season and point the world's most powerful electron microscope at them. That's about what these last two episodes have been like.

(S01E16) Initially, I was opposed to the way they planned to do this finale. It just seemed natural that the final three directors should have had to complete some monumental 5-10 minute piece of work that truly exemplified their talents as a director. The prize is a million dollar deal with Dreamworks, after all, not a first place trophy at the local film festival.

Then, after thinking about it for a bit, it actually made some sense for them to do it this way.

To make the directors create a new piece of work, and totally neglect their previous body of work would have been unfair - particularly if they were having an off day. It'd have been nice to what these guys could do given something more than a couple of minutes, but I can see how that could be construed as a little unfair to the contestants who didn't make it to the final three.

(S01E15) It's a sad thing when the reveal of who's leaving a reality show is more interesting than the actual show.

Case in point, Zach went home this week and we were forced to hear his stifled crying while Adam, Jason, Will, and Sam were named the final four. I liked Zach, but his odes to such-and-such director were getting old and lacked any originality.

(S01E14) Throughout the season I've commented on how many of the director's films end up looking more like car commercials thanks to the heavy placement of Ford vehicles throughout their features.

This week the problem was exacerbated because everyone had to make films using "automobiles" as a loose theme. I find it a little suspect that "automobiles" was considered the theme since in previous weeks we had genres like comedy, horror, action, and romantic comedy.

(S01E12) The only romantic comedies my palette can tolerate are of the British variety. This may or may not make me a complete tool. I haven't quite decided.

These comedies usually star Hugh Grant playing Hugh Grant and are full of witty banter, unlikely but enjoyable scenarios, and slightly tolerable romance.

Going with that criteria, none of tonight's films came close for me and that's pretty sad considering I've set a pretty low bar for the genre. For the most part, the judges disagreed with me.

(S01E11) I'm really surprised On The Lot has made it this long without getting yanked.

My suspicion is Fox doesn't quite have the guts to cancel a show produced by the venerable Steven Spielberg, but they're covertly doing everything in their power to get this stinker off the air. Hence, the double eliminations for the last two weeks.

By my calculations, if we continue cutting two people a week, we'll only be subjected to four or five more episodes tops.

I think this may be the first time I've ever consistently watched a show on a weekly basis while simultaneously wanting it to die.

(S01E10) I'm pretty sure the On the Lot studio audience is tricked into thinking they're at a "My Favorite Things" taping of an Oprah show each week.

The only way they could possibly be as enthusiastic as they let on is if they think they're getting a free iPhone, a fresh batch of crepes Fedexed in from Paris, or an early copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Seriously, the crowd is in such a frenzy each week, it's nearly impossible to hear Adriana Costa during her introduction. She practically has to shout and the funny part is, she's using a microphone.

There is no way a sane human being could like this show that much. It's against nature.

Early June, I reported in TV Squad's Spoilers Anonymous feature that when Smallville would return in September the Daily Planet would have a new editor. The show was looking for an "extremely hot thirtysomething actor" to play this new character who would be featured in six of the first eight episodes and could become Lois Lane's new love interest.

TV Guide's Michael Ausiello reports that Hidden Palms' Michael Cassidy landed the role.

(S01E09) Last week a reader by the name of Videophile posted a link in the comments to this YouTube video noting the similarities between it and Zach's film Die Hardly Working.

After watching the film, I tend to agree and encourage you to have a look for yourself.

I'm not accusing Zach of stealing from the SecretFunTime crew, but the video was posted on their site on May 1st and apparently, Zach only shot this film last week. Also, On The Lot didn't start airing until May 23rd which presumably means Zach could have seen the video before leaving to participate on the show. Just something to think about.

I apologize for the rampant conspiracy theorizing. I have to keep myself interested in this show somehow.

(S01E08) I hate to sound like a broken record, but once again, On The Lot underwent a few more tweaks this week.

To begin with, thanks to a somewhat revealing outfit, the studio audience was mere millimeters away from finding out what exactly resided on Adriana Costa's lot. I'm pretty sure Garry Marshall would have had a heart attack had this actually occurred.