TVSquad

I can admit that I'm no longer the hip young kid that I quite honestly never was. So it didn't surprise me that MTV was able to launch a new show and I was completely unaware of it. But, I've talked to younger friends who do watch MTV, and they don't remember any promotion for Popzilla either.

I found it purely by accident, and when it popped onto my screen, I was looking at something that looked like a mix of old Walt Disney animation and something the folks at Jib-Jab would have come up with. Utilizing photographs for the heads of celebrities, exaggerated slightly for comic effect, and little white Disney gloves, the show skewers celebrities and pop culture in short skits like Robot Chicken, and it's far funnier than it has any right to be.

If all of the people who watched the first two episodes of The Beautiful Life signed this petition...well, the show would still be canceled (if you had TBL in the office "which show will get canceled first" pool, congrats!).

Cancellations + the web = instant petitions. A TV show used to just die and then that would be it. Oh, sometimes something happens where a show gets a second chance (exec taking a chance, summer reruns getting good ratings, the show doing well on DVD, buzz, etc), but it's a long shot. And now, whenever a show is canceled the web gives us the opportunity to create and/or sign a petition to get the show renewed.

When Ashton Kutcher, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Elle Macpherson and the rest of the panel for Kutcher's CW show The Beautiful Life, I was figuring the panel would field nothing but questions about Mischa Barton, given the recent publicity over her hospitalization and other personal issues. Surprisingly, though, the critics actually wanted to focus on the show itself, which is about the lives of young models and how they deal with the various pressures of that lifestyle.

However, in the middle of the panel, a Barton question did come up. Kutcher was quick to defend the actress, saying she was "never unavailable for a day of work." With all the young people in the cast, he thinks the "good thing about Mischa is that she's done it before," and can provide guidance.

I know the Internet has been harsh on Twitter lately, what with Oprah signing up for an account and that stupid Ashton Kutcher vs. CNN thing. But it's time to prepare yourself for a whole new world of online Twitter bashing.

Why? Because Twitter is coming to TV.

Creating a show based on the popular Web service isn't necessarily a bad idea. I'm sure someone could do something creative with it. But the people developing the upcoming Twitter TV show have other ideas. According to the AP, "The show would harness Twitter to put players on the trail of celebrities in an interactive, competitive format."

Ugh.

Really? Twitter is bringing us a celebrity stalking game show?

Sure, ABC can cut down the order on new scripted shows and say no to others, but when it comes to new reality shows, there's no limit, it seems.

ABC will debut a new reality show on January 5 titled True Beauty. The show will have 10 super hot people living in a mansion, each vying to become the true beauty of the group. Winner gets money and a place in the "100 Most Beautiful" issue of People.

That's right, people are now campaigning for a spot in the issue. Supposedly it will be about inner beauty as well as outer, but no one really believes that. And guess who is producing the show?

a.) Ryan Seacrest and Paris Hilton
b.) Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher
c.) Tim Gunn and Paula Adbul
d.) Oprah Winfrey and Carson Kressley
e.) Tom Brokaw and Peggy Noonan

The remaining panels on ABC's first day were for Eli Stone, the Ashton Kutcher-produced game show Opportunity Knocks, and a panel for the upcoming Country Music Association events on the network. For the latter panel, Julianne Hough, who has twice partnered with the celebrity champion of Dancing with the Stars, sang a few songs from her current country album. Pretty girl. Nice voice. Dancer's body. But that's all I can say about the panel, because I bolted shortly after she was done singing.

The Eli Stone panel featured the entire cast along with executive producers Greg Berlanti (who seems to be producing two-thirds of ABC's scripted dramas) and Marc Guggenheim. Surprisingly enough, there was only one question about the presence of Katie Holmes as a guest star this season. The reason why she's there is a shock -- they brought her in to get ratings! Will wonders never cease?

MTV is hooking up with That '70s Show's Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) to develop a scripted comedy that takes a look at celebrity worship. The series, titled Baby Dolls, which will be filmed in documentary style, is told from the point of view of "a naive and jaded personal assistant to a young actress." Naive and jaded? So this person has a lack of experience, judgment or knowledge about the world but is hardworking and completely worn out by all the energy he or she puts into the job? Sounds like a job for Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock!

Or I guess Valderrama could play the role himself. He certainly played the role of "naive" to a T in That '70s Show and hasn't been doing much TV work outside of getting Punk'd by fellow '70s co-star Ashton Kutcher from time to time. Doesn't he know that there's a legion of Fez-natics out here just waiting for him to grace our screens again. Hell, keep it the same character ... Fez twenty years later working as a personal assistanta. "Would you like me to powder your breasts with my nose?"

While the women of Beauty and the Geek may be gorgeous, the show itself is guilty of the exact opposite - it's ugly to watch. Despite that assessment (I've seen a few episodes and never got hooked), the Ashton Kutcher produced show is currently in its fifth season; so somebody is watching it. Not enough people, though. Variety is reporting that the upcoming fifth season finale may very well be the show's last... for now anyway. The CW might actually just shelve it for a few seasons until they can bring it back and make it feel "new" again.

That's a smart idea if you ask me. Other reality shows that have reached the "stale" status should take a hint. I'm looking at you Survivor and American Idol. Most of these reality programs have done all they can to re-invent formulas and sometimes the only thing that works is an extended absence. Here's to hoping this one stays permanent.

If you saw the previews of this week's episode of Law & Order, you know that it's Jesse L. Martin's last show. The NBC promo implies that Detective Ed Green has gotten into major trouble and will be brought up on charges for his actions, perhaps lose his badge. That would be a very dramatic way to wrap up his nine years on Law and Order, and unlike the near-fatal shooting his character survived a couple of years ago, it leaves open the door for a guest stint down the road. But not too soon. Jesse L. Martin is in talks to star in a Broadway version of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, taking on the Sidney Poitier role.

(S33E10) Considering the fact that Ashton Kutcher has hosted the show two times previous to this, I expected a lot more sketches that would let him cut loose and go crazy. We already know that he can be a decent host, and I felt like they didn't use him to his full potential. I also fully understand that I'm simultaneously talking about the importance of range and Ashton Kutcher of That 70s Show and Punk'd.

That said, this episode was mediocre, but at least it was consistently chuckle-worthy. There were only one or two sketches that were a bit painful to get through.

TV Squadder Paul Goebel reviewed the series premiere of the ABC comedy Miss Guided. He wasn't sure what to make of the show after the first airing and I must admit that I also had my doubts about this new comedy. Judy Greer is a joy to watch as guidance counselor Becky Freeley but the comedy was predictable and the cast way too beautiful to portray a real high school. However, I decided to stick with it and ended up enjoying the show's storylines and characters as well as the interview-like tidbits.

The series aired its season finale last week and is now awaiting ABC's upfronts to know if it'll come back next season or have to close the books. To help ABC make its decision, here are some reasons why Miss Guided should be renewed.

(S01E01) I'm not quite sure what to make of this show. It's hard to decide what I like and don't like considering that the show is really not that unique. For example, I've always been a fan of Chris Parnell but his work on Miss Guided pales in comparison to the stuff he does on 30 Rock. The same goes for Brooke Burns but if I had to choose, I'd rather see her in those jeans she wore on Dog Eat Dog.

Judy Greer is super funny. Her guest spot on Two and a half Men was brilliant in my opinion. So when she got her own show, I was interested to say the least.

In the flush of all the returning series with fresh episodes comes this tasty morsel of news. ABC will premiere Miss/Guided, a new sitcom starring Judy Greer (Love Monkey) on March 18.

Miss Guided is the story of Becky Freeley, who returns to the same high school she went to as a teenager as a guidance counselor, sorta, kinda like Welcome Back, Kotter. But Becky wasn't a sweat hog in her high school days -- she was an ugly duckling with braces and teenage anxieties. Now, as an adult, she hopes to be able to handle HS with more elan. Becky's hopes hit a speed bump when she meets the sexy mechanic-turned Spanish teacher, Tim (Kristoffer Polaha), whom she likes...a lot. Then, she learns that the new English teacher is Lisa Germain (Brooke Burns), her former nemesis back in school. And wouldn't you know it, Lisa likes Tim, too!

New Zealand's fourth most popular five minute podcast about TV Squad returns! As always, you can either listen to it right in your browser or subscribe to it via iTunes and bring the dulcet tones of my voice with you on the subway. I can't think of anything better than hearing me talk about Ashton Kutcher's possible exposure to Hep A while being stabbed to death by one of the Shower Posse.

Discussed in today's episode:

• Bob Sassone and Tex Avery show us what the future of TV will look like.
• It turns out that Hepatitis A feels the same way about Ashton Kutcher as the rest of us do.
• Allison Waldman and CBS give Trekkers something to go nerd-crazy about.
• Apparently, Maya Rudolph has one fan.
• Jay Black pimps for Jay Black (and also speaks about Jay Black in the third person)

(Music provided courtesy of Kevin MacLeud.)

This is not an episode of Punk'd.

Health officials in New York City are suggesting that everyone who was at the Socialista Bar on February 7th (and also on the 8th and the 11th) should get vaccinated for Hepatitis A just in case. A bartender who was working on those days has tested positive for the disease, which is caused by contact with fecal matter and creates an inflammation of the liver.

Why is this story on a TV blog? Well, it just so happens that Demi Moore threw a party for husband Ashton Kutcher on February 7, and guests at the party included Bruce Willis, Grey's Anatomy star Eric Dane, Madonna, Ali Larter, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lucy Liu, Kate Hudson, Lake Bell, Ivanka Trump, and other celebrities. (Side note: doesn't it just make you all warm and gooey inside that Demi and Ashton get along so well with Demi's ex Bruce Willis?)

I wonder if this is what critics mean when they say that Hollywood is infecting America?