TVSquad

If it were me, if I were the guy (or gal) sitting up in my solid gold throne at MTV tower in charge of programming at sister station VH1, I'd have thrown myself from the roof by now. I mean, I've already given Brooke Hogan her own show, I'm responsible for both Rock of Love and Flavor of Love and their bastard progeny I Love Money (which is really what this channel is all about now).

How can I possibly live with myself? Sure, I also brought the genuinely entertaining Best Week Ever to fruition, and I keep sub-par comedians in regular work with all my stupid list shows, but haven't I done enough to the world? Isn't it enough that I took a channel named "Video Hits One" and turned it into a circus side show of money-grubbing whores and E-List celebrities trying to recapture what little glory they never really had? Apparently not, because VH1 is going to air a show in which they follow Antonio Sabato Jr. around while he tries to find true love.

For week two of Celebrity Circus, ex-Brady Buncher Christopher Knight will set himself ablaze as he performs "fire clowning." I wonder how Adrienne Curry feels about this. It's got to raise some suspicions about your husband's sanity if he's willing to set himself on fire for reality TV.

Here's some of the other stupid things the celebs will be doing this week on the show:

Wee Man battling the German Wheel, the same act in which Knight broke his arm. Wee Man will be paired with trainer Vladimir Sizov for a synchronized act. Stacey Dash will perform on the Cerceau alongside trainer Sacha Fedorchev. Dash will be creating a sexy and high-energy routine flying 50 feet above the ground with no safety line or harness. Antonio Sabato Jr. will push himself to the limit doing a hand-balancing act with his partner and trainer Christine Van Loo. There will be no room for errors as any little mistake could lead to serious injury.

When something's a success, a follow up is inevitable. Therefore, the news that SoapNet is launching a second season of General Hospital: Night Shift, commencing Tuesday, July 22, is no big surprise. The surprise will be who is going to be involved in the daytime soap spinoff that airs once a week on SoapNet at 11 o'clock. Last season, actors for General Hospital, including Kimberly McCullough, Jason Thompson and Steve Burton did double-duty. And they weren't alone. Some new characters appeared on Night Shift, but the draw was definitely the daytime stars.

SoapNet ordered 13 new episodes of Night Shift and this year the show will be produced in high def. Production begins next month, and unlike last year's edition, the show will be filmed on new stages dedicated solely to Night Shift instead of sharing space with General Hospital.