TVSquad

• I do not ever, under any circumstances, wish to see Andy Griffith's "O" face. But if you're into that kind of thing, here ya go.
• For all of you Twihards out there: Cinematical has new images from New Moon.
• "Okay. It's like The Blob, but you know, without the blob thing. But it's totally a remake of The Blob. Get it?" It sounds like that's kind of how Rob Zombie's movie pitch went.
• I'm going to see The Final Destination this weekend. I have never seen any of the other movies in the series, and I do not give a single crap about the "plot" or "characters." The point is, it is in 3-D and there are crazy body parts flying around and people getting killed in very awkward ways. Movie WIN.
• Cinematical is not very happy about the Heathers TV show that is in the works.

In this business we call show, there are those people who never let us forget that they are involved to make money. Luckily, those people often occupy the off camera part of the business and let the performers worry about making art. Meanwhile, the business types sit back and try to think up ways they can make more money off of the performers. One of the most insidious ways is to appeal to the star's ego and convince them to make a recording. What follows are some of the best -- and by "best," I mean "WTF?"

Phyllis Diller
"You're Different"
Most people today recognize he name Phyllis Diller but have no idea why she was famous, however if they watch this clip, they can be sure that it isn't for singing.

When the Billy Bob Thornton movie The Astronaut Farmer came out, a lot of us were amazed how the plot sounded similar to Salvage 1, a TV movie and later short-lived series on ABC that starred Andy Griffith as the owner of a scrap and salvage company who builds a spaceship and goes to the moon. I don't think this show has been seen that much since the late 70s, but TVShowsOnDVD is hearing from a source that Sony is going to release the show (the pilot movie and all the episodes, including 4 never shown on ABC) some time in 2008.

But that's not the only DVD news that TV fans are going to be interested in...

You folks might recall that a man running for Sheriff in Grant County, Wisconsin changed his name from "William Harold Fenrick" to "Andrew Jackson Griffith" so he could run under the name "Andy Griffith" and hopefully use the iconic name to win the election.

He didn't win.

He did, however, have a lawsuit filed against him by Andy Griffith, the actor who played Andy Taylor on the Andy Griffith Show. Recently, however, a judge dismissed the case, saying that Fenrick did not violate any copyright and that what he did was protected under the First Amendment. I'm not a fancy big city lawyer, so I can't say much about this.

I thought of this show a few weeks ago when I started to see the commercials for Billy Bob Thornton's new movie, The Astronaut Farmer, about a guy who builds his own rocket in his barn so he can blast into space.

Salvage 1 was a short-lived show that starred Andy Griffith as a salvager who sells scrap that he finds and goes on various adventures with his cohorts (rescuing people, battling fires, getting involved with crooks, that sort of thing). The series co-starred Joel Higgins (Silver Spoons), Trish Stewart (whatever happened to her?), and Richard Jaeckel (Spenser: For Hire), and it was based on a TV movie of the same name in which Griffith built a rocket on his own and blasted off into space.

I can't tell you how much I loved this movie when I was a teen. If you had asked me in the late 70s what the best movie of all time was, I probably would have said this one. Sadly, the show died after only a season and a half. It couldn't quite match the charm of the pilot, but was pretty darn entertaining.

You want a my personal picks for the best TV stuff of 2006? Sure, no problem. You also want my personal picks for the worst TV offered in 2006? Well, that's somewhat of a challenge. If I don't like something, I don't watch it, but I agreed to list my favorite and least favorite things about TV, so let's get the negative stuff out of the way first.

When you hear the name of Barney Fife, deputy sheriff on the classic The Andy Griffith Show, what comes to mind? Well, he was smug and self-confident, over-analytical, overzealous, and a bit of a blowhard. But how about eloquent, intense and heartwarming? No, you say? Well, you'd be wrong, because there was one particular episode where he was just that, all in defense of his partner Sheriff Andy Taylor.

Jump ahead and I'll tell you all about it.

I was going to say that "everyone is entitled to their own opinion" about this roundup of the best TV show DVD sets that The Onion's AV Club has up today. But then I took a look at a couple of the sets they picked (and the many that they left out) and I want to change my line to "this is a rather stupid column."

First off, they have the balls to say that the fourth season of NewsRadio is the best the show ever had. Um, are they crazy? The season that they had Dave and Lisa switch jobs? The season they had that new young guy come on the show? The year that Khandi Alexander left? That's ridiculous. The third season is the best season of NewsRadio.

They also picked "Man In A Hurry" as the best Andy Griffith Show episode? A fine episode, but the best in the whole series? Bah.

And where is The Dick Van Dyke Show? Those are damn good sets.

All right everybody, get those crappy ties and self-made cards ready. It's time once again for the forgotten holiday known as Father's Day. Yes, the bastard cousin to the extremely popular Mother's Day. The one that people forget is the third Sunday in the month of June, not the second. The holiday where your loving family wants to fill your day with special events when all you really want to do is have some privacy to write your damn TV Squad articles!

Ahem. So, in the fine tradition of tomorrow's holiday, where you usually pay for your own dinner out, we present the five television dads who would be grateful if they received a wallet made out of dried macaroni.

Tomorrow evening TV Land will air an Andy Griffith Marathon in honor of the inimitable Don Knotts, who passed away recently at the age of 81. The marathon will begin at 8 p.m. EST. Don't worry, they haven't forgotten those of us who are a bit younger and remember Knotts as the perpetually unhip landlord Mr. Furley on Three's Company. The network will air a marathon including both the Andy Griffith Show and Three's Company throughout the entire weekend of March 4 and 5. I suppose enough about Don Knotts has been said already, but ever since his death I haven't been able to stop thinking about one of my favorite "Mr. Furley" moments, which involved the landlord in a game of strip poker. Not wanting to get naked in front of others, Furley comes to the game wearing several layers of winter clothes, including a cap, ear muffs, and a scarf. I've never seen any comedic actor who can make nervousness and apprehension as palpable as Don Knotts did.

[via Sitcoms Online]