TVSquad

Following the season six premiere of American Chopper on Thursday at 9 PM (I sure hope those squabbling Teutuls can work things out), TLC is premiering a new pilot titled Heavy Haulers at 10 PM. That picture sort of says it all, doesn't it? In addition to the logistics of moving such a huge piece of machinery, I'm wondering how you even get into the thing once you get where you're going.

Regular watchers of American Chopper will look at the picture to the right and immediately ponder the following question: is Paul Sr. giving Paulie Jr. a big hug or a meaty, larynx-crushing choke hold?

I've been notoriously anti-reality TV for a long time, but I gave American Chopper a grace chip when it ran on the Discovery Channel for the first few seasons. It can get just as over-the-top as most reality shows tend to do, but it still had a genuine level to it somewhere in just about every episode, and it offered viewers something more than just grown men fighting. I'm also a pathetic wanna-be gearhead and would watch a custom Buick LaSabre build contest if I thought I could generate an ounce of knowledge from it over my rich, car-building friends.

So imagine my surprise when the New York Post broke the biggest spoiler in the show's history, other than the fact that it is still on the air.

Family and the workplace -- two constants in everyday American society. They are the places where we spend most of our lives. Sometimes we spend more time at one over complaints of the other. Other times, we barely want to spend time at either location.

Because these are so important to many people across this country, it made sense that television would delve into both of these environments during the Reality Revolution. However, since a 60-minute show about a senior technical analyst sitting in his four square-foot cube was not likely to draw in the audience, the reality shows that were created focused on those families and workplaces that were a tad more unique. Thusly, shows were created around well-to-do families, celebrity families, or families with multiple children, while workplace shows dealt in tattoos, motorcycles, hair styling, and house-flipping.

Coming in later than the game operas and relationship shows, these family and workplace programs ushered in a new phase of the Reality Revolution and set the stage for the future of reality programming.

TLC has a new competition series called Master of Dance (worst title ever). The show will test dancers' skills by changing the song mid-performance to measure the breadth of their repertoire and the level of their creativity. This sounds a little too much like Freezedance but for prize money. The grand prise is $50,000 to be exact.

Joey Lawrence will host and there will be three judges: Lucinda Dickey (Solid Gold, Breakin'), Tyce Diorio (choreographer on So You Think You Can Dance), and Loni Love (comedienne voted one of Comedy Central's Top 20 Comics to Watch in 2008).

(S03E16) "This is what someone told me reading a book is like." - Randy Hickey

I really can't decide if the writers for Earl are geniuses or drunks. Right when people start to complain that the show is getting stale they take it in a new direction that no one could see coming and yet is perfectly believable.

A big part of why I love this show is seeing the flashbacks where Earl was a complete reprobate. Even better is seeing Randy as the same kind of reprobate and yet just as simple. Joy, of course, remains exactly the same, no matter where or when she is, even if she's only in Earl's imagination.

Starting this year, you'll be able to catch some of your favorite Discovery series online (including all the channels under the Discovery Communications umbrella) before they hit the TV airwaves.

Discovery iPremieres will launch in the third quarter of this year, two per week. The premieres will include both new and existing shows, including: Man Vs. Wild, American Chopper, What Not to Wear, Bindi: The Jungle Girl and Dirty Jobs. The premieres featured each week will change based on the top-performing shows. The online episodes will also include extra behind-the-scenes clips.

Et tu HP? Ya know, I just don't get the fascination with American Chopper. It's an ok show, but it has fallen into the Gilligan's Island trap long ago. You know, the joke about Gilligan's Island? "Did you ever see the one where they almost got off the island, but then they didn't?"

Well.... did you ever see the American Chopper where they almost ran out of time and then Paul and Paul Jr. had a fight? It's repetitive, and the bikes are too similar to keep me coming back to watch the show. For some reason though, companies all over the place want to be associated with them. Good for them on taking advantage of it. Their presence kind of killed this one for me, but it was a well done spot otherwise. Nice animation, and it gets the HP name out there to what must be an audience that I just don't comprehend.

Go Daddy has probably used the Superbowl commercials to their advantage as much as, or more than, anybody. Because of their history, their commercials are some of the most anticipated. Here we get a peek behind the scenes at the marketing department.

It's not a bad ad, but nothing special. Even seeing it for the first time it seems like something we have seen before. The idea that the marketing department at Go Daddy is just one big party is amusing, but simple. I take off a couple points for including the American Chopper guys. I've just seen too much of them at this point. Those points and then some are gained back by the appearance of Danica Patrick though. I do love my racing. The return of Candice Michelle is nice. Seeing Kevin Rose in the commercial was a bit odd, but given their business, it makes sense.

Scrubs (9PM, NBC)
It is a universally acknowledged truth that all musicians want to act, and all actors want to sing. Guess the grass is always greener on the other side. 'Scrubs' is staging a musical episode tonight, with songs written by the composers of the hit Broadway show 'Avenue Q' (the one with the dirty puppets). Nothing can top the 'Buffy' musical episode, but Zach Braff and cast sure have fun trying.

Watch TV Squad's sneak peek of the episode.

You know, I used to watch American Chopper now and again because I kind of liked the Teutuls' act. You know what I mean: Paulie Sr. is the gruff but lovable father that is always barking out orders and issuing empty threats; Paulie Jr. is supposed to be the heir apparent to the Orange County Choppers empire, but doesn't seem to want it or care; Mikey's the comic relief. Then, of course, I found out that, like most reality shows, the yelling and tension is mostly made-up. By then it didn't really matter, though; I had stopped watching because the formula started to get tiresome to me.

But then I read in my local newspaper (yes, they still print those) that this episode, which first aired on Monday, would be a celebrity build for my favorite singer, Billy Joel, and that Billy would be a complete pain in the ass. Oh, boy. The prickly "my way or the highway" Teutuls mixed with the "delicate genius" of the Piano Man? This was one I had to watch.