TVSquad

Last month's triumphant return of the "Celebrity Jeopardy!" sketch to Saturday Night Live was a hilarious bit of celebrity snark genius. It is without a doubt the only sketch in the show's history that just gets better and better every time a new one is rolled out for the public to digest and enjoy.

The most recent incarnation of the sketch was no exception. In fact, it built on the solid foundation that lay before it by casting Tom Hanks as a clueless himself and bringing back Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds. MacDonald's appearance was funny not just because he does a scary good Reynolds, but I also like to think that every time he returns to the show, Don Ohlmeyer cries a little inside.

As much as there was to laugh at in the sketch, a tiny but hilarious joke seeped through the cracks and no one seemed to spot it -- until now. I have found the missing joke from last month's Jeopardy! sketch, thanks to my keen eyes, my intrepid nose and my ever-widening butt.

There are some forces in the universe that should never be messed with: the sun, black holes and Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek. Take it from someone who knows.

The man has the unholy ability to make ANYONE look stupid on national television. He can make an Ivy League PhD appear as though he went to city college. He can turn a Midwestern elementary school teacher into someone no parent would entrust their child with for eight hours a day. His trademark "Oh, sorry" alone can make a world renowned neurosurgeon look like a jabbering mental patient who doesn't know the name of the bone that houses the human brain.

So it's no wonder that politicians are scared to be seen in the same camera shot with the man.

The hours of preparation have been grueling. The amount of studying has been tedious and boring. The sacrifice required to reach this moment has been great and punishing. I didn't shower for two days and the smell almost set off the fire alarm in some of the smaller rooms.

Now the only weapons I have at my disposal are my nimble fingers, my rapid comprehension and my ability to remember everything I've read in the span of four days. We're about to go head-to-head with the razor-toothed man eater that is the Jeopardy! contestant test.

We're gonna need a bigger brain.

Studying was never my strong-suit. I always got by in college on my looks; that would explain why I was a C-student. Come to think of it, planning isn't either. Neither is getting enough REM sleep, keeping a clean house or (as you can see by my picture) sticking to a regular skin care regime.

So when it came to preparing for my Jeopardy! test, the same substandard habits applied. I could have started cracking the books at least a month ago when I first heard the website was holding online contestant tests at the Jeopardy! website. It just seemed like a huge mountain of knowledge to tame in one sitting. Plus, I had about 15 Tales from the Darkside episodes that my TiVo had taped and were about to go to waste.

So when it came time to crack the books and cram in as much information as my brain could hold, I not only had to make up for lost time.

If you've ever wanted to be a contestant on the legendary Jeopardy!, then get in line. It starts behind me. I already called dibs and stamped it.

Jeopardy! will conduct national online contestant tests this week on their official website. The tests will take place by timezone: Tuesday at 8 p.m. Eastern for people on the East Coast, Wednesday at 8 p.m. Central and 7 p.m. Mountain for residents in those time zones and Thursday at 8 p.m. for Pacific Coast, Alaska and Hawaii viewers.

As part of this annual game show tradition, I, your humble (not-so-much) TVSquad blogger Danny Gallagher, will also be one of the many, many people trying out for the most hallowed game show in the history of American broadcasting. And as always, you get to come along for the ride. Please keep all hands and arms inside the vehicle until my ego comes to a complete stop.

At what point do these competitive reality television series become ridiculous? Alex Trebek has been tapped to host a new Canadian television series called Canada's Next Prime Minister. The premise of the show being that a panel of former Prime Ministers will pick the next one. The CBC has already sold the show's format to the BBC.

Obviously, it won't be too long before we see America's Next President on some channel (my guess would be Fox) with a panel of judges consisting of Bill Clinton, (the late) Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter and George W.

Is it me, or does this seem to trivialize the office of leadership to a country? On the other hand, it seems that running for political office is a bit of a circus anyway. Perhaps electoral processes should be handled this way from now on.

I don't see how the winner of this competition would actually become Prime Minister as a result of the "victory". Of course, television creates fame so maybe the person will announce his/her candidacy shortly thereafter.

UPDATE - just for clarification, the show doesn't pick the ACTUAL next Prime Minister of Canada, but rather young people who would be good candidates for the position based on the judges' opinions.

Here's a question I got that should be easy for all you game show fans...

Jamie writes, "Can you help me figure out the name of a game show that I watched about 20 years ago? It was like a board with words on it and you had to win to get to pick the covers off the board and it would like reveal for instance a needle + N + (then a pile of hay) with the answer to the puzzle would be a needle in the haystack!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!"

Well, I am hardly a game show expert but that sounds like Concentration to me. Although if you watched it twenty years ago then you were probably watching the relaunched version called Classic Concentration hosted by Alex Trebek.

When you think you know something so well, you don't realize that there might be some surprises waiting for you. Sure, surprises may be a bad thing, like when the love of your life tells you that they have been with someone else, but in terms of television surprises that is thankfully not the case, we have been privy to some great surprises this past weekend.

First off, you've heard. Jeopardy had its first three way tie in its decades long history. Alex Trebek's job must be as predictable as a bowl of cornflakes, so it's understandable and nice to hear him yelp in a cry of genuine surprise when the quick math was done and all the contestants would return to Jeopardy next week. In a mostly unexciting show, this was a very exciting moment for millions of Jeopardy fans everywhere.

In other surprising news...

What probably comes as no surprise to anyone, both Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune have been renewed for two more years. That means that the two top-ranked syndicated game shows will remain on the air through the 2011-2012 season.

Currently, Wheel is the number one show in syndication, averaging 8.3 million households. Jeopardy is number three with an average viewing audience of 6.5 million households. By the time the 2012 season ends Wheel will have been on the air for an impressive 29 seasons while Jeopardy will have been on for an equally impressive 28.

One can only assume that Alex Trebek, Pat Sajak and Vanna White will remain with their respective shows. Then again, assuming is a bad thing. Heck, for all I know Howard Stern could be hosting the final two seasons of Jeopardy. Ratings may pick up then if the 'Daily Double' features half-naked lesbians giving out answers.

I like things that are comfortable. I like my old shoes and the vague outline off my (ever-widening body) crushed into my favorite chair. Like a lot of guys I have t-shirts that are so old and well-worn that they're one lightening strike away from becoming sentient (and that's my SciFi Channel movie idea, so don't steal it). In short, I like the familiar.

Say what you want about TV, it does the familiar very well. From catch-phrases (just what was Willis talking about?) to genre-conventions (let's all freeze while the credits roll!) TV is America's comfort food.

What is my TV comfort food? The five after the jump...

To me, Jeopardy! is the quintessential game show. At the end of a game, I walk away with a sense of awe that those three people could truly have the brains to retain such an amazing amount of information, then be put in front of millions of people to blurt pieces of it out on demand and faster than two other people -- in the form of a question, to boot. I'd often wonder how one could possibly prepare to be faced with that kind of pressure and what kind of unfathomable studying one would have to do to qualify for that show, never mind actually win. Several times.

Jane Espenson, who as some of you know has been extremely courteous enough to give her insights into her recent writings for Battlestar Galactica, sent me a copy of a book that opened my mind to the world of one very successful contestant on the greatest game show in the world, Bob Harris. That book is Prisoner of Trebekistan.

The answer is: this website offers all of the 63,000 clues given out to Jeopardy contestants during its 22-year run.

What is J! Archive?

Of course I was going to do something like this to talk about the largest collection of Jeopardy clues on the Internet. I'm a hack writer, aren't I? Actually, there's a bit more than just clues on this fan created site. J! Archive also features contestant bios, prizes won during the tournaments, and winning totals per episode. The answers to each clue are also given. Just another decrease of work productivity courtesy of the World Wide Web.

By the way, if you really are looking for clues from season six, episode 1302 of the game show click right here.

[Thanks to tip by Luis via Bunch of Nerds]

Answer: What is the internet?

Correct! For a limited time only, Jeopardy! is seeking out fans over this crazy thing we call the internet. From March 28-30 on its website, Jeopardy! will offer a 50-question, general knowledge quiz that potential contestants can take. Each day is designated for a specific time zone. The idea is for this test to reach out to people all over the United States, not just in the cities where Jeopardy! holds auditions. If you pass the test, you may be selected for an interview, an audition, and another test, and then you could be on the show!

If you get on, I dare you to do Darrell Hammond's Sean Connery. I DARE YOU.

One of the hazards of being home from work is the minefield that is daytime TV. It's pretty scary when you think about it; ads for denture cream, diabetes testers, and insurance to take care of your "final expenses" abound, mainly because a major component of the audience that time of the day is retirees. However, for an almost-middle-aged person like myself, seeing those commercials is a scary harbinger of what is to come, especially if I don't take care of myself like, say, Wilford Brimley.

But there is also a sad component to the daytime fascination with mortality: the disappointment you feel when you see your favorite TV legend selling Medicare supplemental insurance or life insurance on TV.