TVSquad

I'm not shocked at Ace getting the boot. His number has been up since he couldn't top "Father Figure." (Ugh, that was like the first week, right? And did you notice that Queen was not in his "Bad Day" montage? Ha ha ha!) But Chris in the bottom 3?!?!?! I suppose that America is to blame. We let him down. That's what Paula is going to tell us next Tuesday, I'm sure. But, I guess we are to blame. I didn't vote for Chris last night. I felt sorry for Ace, so I voted for him. It was a sympathy vote that I wish I could take back. I figured that Chris would slip into the bottom 3 at least once (before triumphantly winning this whole thing), but not until a later date. I know this sounds silly, and only confirms my complete absorption into AI addiction, but I felt a little bit nauseas when I saw Chris standing there next to Ace. The mere thought of Chris going home prematurely made me want to throw up. So, that confirms it -- I'm officially a member of Team Chris. I'm pledging my allegiance right now.

You know what they didn't have a lot of back in the old days? Lyrics. Yeah, I know that the lyrics of most modern songs kind of suck. But never before did I realize how many times the chorus is repeated in older songs. It had to be you. It had to be you. It had to be you. But they are beautiful songs. But the outfits were ugly.

Not Rod, of course. He always looks sexy in his skinny, high-water suits. But Chris...

This week's Results Show should have been renamed Make Everybody's Parents Cry Show because that's what it was. I was actually confused at first -- why were the contestants crying at their parents videos? It's not like they are on Survivor and don't get to see them every week. Heck, half of their parents are in the audience every night. They probably see their family more than I get to see mine. Then, I thought maybe they were crying at hearing their parents say such nice things about them. But that doesn't make sense because parents always gush over their kids. Even when their kids sorta suck. Then, I realized that they were crying because they are all physically and mentally exhausted. They are crying 'cause they just want to go home...but not really.

But Bucky is going home. I think that he's a great guy, but no way was he ever going to become the next American Idol. So, I don't really shed too many tears for Bucky. Ace and Elliott were the other two at the bottom. But what was weird about tonight was that I honestly think Ace was convinced that he was going home. Absolutely convinced of it. And, I was a little bit worried when Elliott was brought into the bottom three and asked to sing on the spot. For a moment, I thought that it was going to be some sort of wacky Idol trick where they just eliminated him on the spot. Luckily, they just had an hour of television to kill.

Next week, Rod Stewart takes over. Notify your moms and aunts, 'cause you know they love him. Love him.

I don't think I've ever anticipated an American Idol theme night more than this. Like many of you, I typically hate the theme nights. It feels like someone stole the song selection book at a karaoke bar, and left only one page for drunken patrons to choose from. But I was excited for tonight --simply because I thought it would suck. I thought it would be a disastrous mess of awkward and uncomfortable song choices and bad Freddie Mercury impressions. And, I was absolutely convinced that Taylor Hicks would wear a fake moustache (a semi-gray fake moustache, of course). But tonight was pretty good. It was entertaining to say the least.

Don't get me wrong. At times, it sucked. But more trying to drink a McDonald's thick shake through a straw suck, than Dyson vacuum suck. There was something very triumphantly sucky about tonight and I loved it.

Last night's Idol was one of the liveliest shows in the past few weeks. Not because of the performances, but because of everybody else. First off , Whoopi and Chris Rock? When I first spotted them in the crowd, I rewinded my DVR five times to verify that it was them. On the fourth rewind, I had them pegged as impersonators...and darn good ones. But nope, it was them. How funny is it that Chris Rock & Whoopi show up on country night? They're both huge Kenny Rodgers fans, I'm sure.

And it appears that Ryan (like so many men recently) has gone the way of the beard.  

Daniel Powter probably didn't mean for it to happen, but "Bad Day" will forever be burned into my memory as the American Idol reject song. It has definitely secured its symbolic connotation with being eliminated in my mind. I actually heard it on the radio today, and for a moment, I had a passing sensation that I might get fired when I arrived to work. But I didn't get fired...

Lisa got fired. I'm sorta bummed for her, but we saw it coming. She had been in the bottom three for the past few weeks. If Kevin didn't suck so bad, it probably would have been her last week. When I first saw Lisa during audition week, I actually thought she could make it to the final three, but she just never improved upon that first audition. I don't really feel sorry for her though. I mean, she's still a teen and she's already been on Broadway. Her and Ayla Brown are both in the "forever doin' just fine" club. So, I don't feel too sorry for them.

Ace Young and Katharine McPhee were also in the bottom three...

For lack of a better word or description, last night's show was weird and anti-climatic. At first, I was really excited about the contestants doing modern hits from the last 6 years, but then...nothing happened. I kept waiting for that one really great performance that would put the show into overdrive, but it never came.

First off, the show was cut down to a hour last night since there are only 10 contestants left. This made everything feel very rushed. It felt less like a national hit show and more like a filler before House came on. Secondly, all the judges were in agreement last night, and yet they were still fighting. Always weird. Thirdly, lack of time translated into lack of Seacrest zingers. Seacrest zingers are always the cheesiest of zings, and yet, I miss them when they're gone. It's like getting a dollar every year in your birthday card from Grandma. A dollar doesn't get you much (heck, it doesn't get you anything), but that first year when it's not in there...it burns. Finally, I think Kevin might have been eliminated prematurely. I'm convinced that if given the chance, he would have performed Britney Spears' "Toxic" and it would have been the best thing to happen to American Idol since Bobby sung the praises of the Copacabana.