TVSquad

After Johnny Carson, David Letterman is my favorite late night talk show host of all-time. But last night he made a joke that made me cringe (and I'm pretty cringe-resistant).

He was giving the weekly "Fun Facts" list (doing it on Wednesday this week because he's in repeats tonight and Friday due to of March Madness basketball), and the last joke in the pile was one about Andy Rooney. I don't remember it verbatim, but it was something along the lines of, "Andy Rooney's wife tells him, 'yeah, a--hole, I've noticed," a joke about how Rooney always says the phrase "you ever notice...," which, in all fairness to Rooney, I think has been said more by his impersonators (like Joe Piscopo) than by Rooney himself.

Mike Wallace, the semi-retired 60 Minutes correspondent, underwent triple-bypass heart surgery over the weekend at Lenox Hill Hospital in Manhattan.

The 89-year-old Wallace, the oldest of the 60 Minutes correspondents, is recovering nicely, according to a CBS News spokesperson. The spokesperson added that the Correspondent Emeritus was already taking his first steps just two days after undergoing the procedure. Man, this guy is tough! It is unknown at this time if the surgery was planned or done after a checkup revealed an issue.

• Bad mental image: Simon Cowell likes to blow off steam by getting lots of lap dances.
  
• The 60 Minutes interview with the President of France was short and not sweet at all.
  
• On the set of Grey's Anatomy, there are no plastic bottles allowed.
  

• At 7, NBC has a new Football Night In America, then the Bears/Packers game.
• The CW has a new episode of The CW Now, then a new Online Nation.
• At 7:30 (or after football), CBS has a new, 90 minute 60 Minutes, followed by new episodes of Cold Case and Shark.
• At 8, FOX has new episodes of The Simpsons, King of the Hill, Family Guy, and American Dad.
• ABC has a new Extreme Makeover at 8, then new episodes of Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters.
• At 9, PBS has a new Mystery!
• Food Network has a the series premiere of The Next Iron Chef at 9, followed by a new Iron Chef America.
• Showtime has a new Dexter at 9, followed by a new Brotherhood.
• Also at 9: HBO has a new Tell Me You Love Me.

Check your local TV listings for more.

• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes.
• NBC has a new Dateline at 7, then the Concert For Diana.
• FOX has a new episode of The Loop at 7 (new episodes air at 8:30 and 9:30 as well).
• At 9, PBS has a new Mystery!
• Food Network has a new Next Food Network Star at 9.
• WE has a new Bridezillas at 9.
• There's a new John From Cincinnati on HBO at 9, then new eps of Entourage and Flight of the Conchords.
• At 10, Lifetime has a new Army Wives.
• MSNBC has this morning's Meet The Press at 10, if you missed it.
• Showtime has a new Meadowlands at 10.
• Also at 10: E! has a new Simple Life Goes To Camp, followed by a new Sunset Tan.

Check your local TV listings for more.

• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes.
• NBC has a new, two-hour Dateline at 7.
• At 8, Disney has a new Kim Possible.
• At 8:30, FOX has a new episode of The Loop (another new episode airs at 9:30).
• At 9, USA has the season premiere of The 4400, followed by the season premiere of The Dead Zone.
• A&E has a new Gene Simmons Family Jewels at 9.
• Watch Dustin Diamond flip out on a new Celebrity Fit Club, at 9 on VH-1.
• HBO has a new John From Cincinnati at 9, then the season premiere of Entourage.
• Also at 9: HGTV has highlights of the 2007 Consumer Electronics Show.
• At 10, Lifetime has a new Army Wives.
• Cartoon Network has a new Robot Chicken at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Here are the weekly TV ratings, by number of viewers.

1. America's Got Talent (NBC)
2. Two and a Half Men (CBS)
3. So You Think You Can Dance - Weds (FOX)
4. So You Think You Can Dance - Thurs (FOX)
5. Deal Or No Deal - Tues (NBC)
6. CSI (CBS)
7. CSI: Miami (CBS)
8. 60 Minutes (CBS)
9. NCIS (CBS)
10. Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader (FOX)
11. CSI: NY (CBS)
12. NBA Finals - Game 1 (CBS)
13. Shark (CBS)
14. How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
15. NBA Finals - Game 2 (CBS)
16. The Next Best Thing (ABC)
17. Hell's Kitchen (FOX)
18. House (FOX)
19. American Inventor (ABC)
20. Criminal Minds (CBS)

• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes.
• ABC has two new episodes of Extreme Makeover at 7 (season finale), then the season finales of Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters.
• FOX has the season finales of King of the Hill, The Simpsons (also the 400th episode), Family Guy, and American Dad.
• NBC has a new Dateline at 7.
• At 8, Food Network has a new Emeril Live, followed by a new Iron Chef America.
• At 9, PBS has a new Masterpiece Theatre.
• VH-1 has a new Celebrity Fit Club at 9.
• Also at 9: HBO has a new Sopranos, then a new Entourage.
• At 10, Lifetime has the season finale of Blood Ties.
• Comedy Central has a new Mind of Mencia at 10.
• Fox News has a new 1/2 Hour News Hour at 10.
• There's a new ep of The Tudors at 10 on Showtime.

Check your local TV listings for more.

• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes, followed by new episodes of The Amazing Race, Cold Case, and Without A Trace.
• ABC has a new America's Funniest Home Videos at 7, then new episodes of Extreme Makeover, Desperate Housewives, and Brothers & Sisters.
• There's a new Dateline on NBC at 7, followed by a new Deal Or No Deal and the special Saturday Night Live in the 90s.
• At 7:30, FOX has a new King of the Hill, then a new Simpsons.
• At 8, The CW has a new 7th Heaven.
• PBS has a new Nature at 8.
• Food Network has a new Emeril Live at 8 (Southern Food) and then a new Iron Chef America.
• Also at 8: The History Channel has Star Trek Tech, then Spider-Man Tech, then The Story of Superman.
• At 9, FOX has a new Family Guy then a new American Dad.
• There's a new Sopranos on HBO at 9, then a new Entourage.
• At 10, Lifetime has a new Blood Ties.
• Comedy Central has a new Mind of Mencia at 10, then a new Reno 911.
• Showtime has a new ep of The Tudors at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

• At 7, ABC has a new America's Funniest Home Videos, followed by new episodes of Extreme Makeover and Desperate Housewives.
• CBS has a new 60 Minutes at 7, then a new Amazing Race and the movie Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness.
• NBC has a new, two-hour Dateline at 7, then new episodes of Deal Or No Deal and The Apprentice (live finale).
• There's a new War At Home on FOX at 7, followed by new episodes of King of the Hill and The Simpsons.
• At 8, The CW has a new 7th Heaven.
• ESPN has the Red Sox/Yankees game at 8.
• PBS has a new Nature at 8.
• Also at 8: Food Network has a new Emeril Live, then a new Iron Chef America.
• At 9, Discovery has a new Planet Earth.
• HBO has a new Sopranos at 9, then a new Entourage.
• The TV Land Awards airs at 9 too.
• At 10, Comedy Central has new eps of Mind of Mencia and Reno 911.
• BBC America has a new Footballer's Wives: Overtime at 10.
• Showtime has a new episode of The Tudors at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Here are the weekly TV ratings, by number of viewers.

1. American Idol - Tues (FOX)
2. American Idol - Weds (FOX)
3. CSI (CBS)
4. House (FOX)
5. Dancing with the Stars - Mon (ABC)
6. Dancing with the Stars - Tues (ABC)
7. Shark (CBS)
8. 'Til Death (FOX)
9. NCAA Basketball (CBS)
10. Survivor (CBS)
11. Cold Case - Sun, 10pm (CBS)
12. CSI: Miami (CBS)
13. Law and Order: SVU (NBC)
14. Deal Or No Deal (NBC)
15. NCAA Basketball (CBS)
16. 24 (FOX)
17. 60 Minutes (CBS)
18. Lost (ABC)
19. Criminal Minds (CBS)
20. Deal Or No Deal (NBC)

• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes, followed by new episodes of The Amazing Race, Cold Case, and Without A Trace.
• ABC has a new America's Funniest Home Videos at 7, then new episodes of Extreme Makeover, Desperate Housewives, and Brothers & Sisters.
• NBC has a new Dateline at 7, then new episodes of Grease: You're The One That I Want, Deal Or No Deal, and The Apprentice.
• At 7:30, FOX has a new ep of The War At Home, then a new Simpsons, the premiere of The Winner, a new Family Guy, then another new ep of The Winner.
• Starting at 8, TLC has a David Blaine magic marathon.
• The Food Network has a new Emeril Live at 8 (shrimp recipes, ugh), then new episodes of Iron Chef America and Challenge.
• Discovery Times has The Lost Tomb of Jesus at 8.
• At 9, Lifetime has the new movie My Baby Is Missing.
• Sci-Fi has a new Dresden Files at 9, then a new Battlestar Galactica.
• Also at 9: BBC America has a new ep of Gordon Ramsay's The F Word.
• At 10, MSNBC repeats this morning's Meet The Press, if you missed it.
• VH-1 has two new eps of Dice: Undisputed. They start at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

1. Tostito's BCS National Championship (FOX)
2. NFC Playoff Game - Sat (FOX)
3. AFC Playoff Game - Sun (CBS)
4. Grey's Anatomy (ABC)
5. 60 Minutes (CBS)
6. CSI: Miami (CBS)
7. Desperate Housewives (ABC)
8. House (FOX)
9. Law and Order: SVU (NBC)
10. Two and a Half Men (CBS)
11. Cold Case (CBS)
12. Ugly Betty (ABC)
13. Deal Or No Deal - Mon (NBC)
14. 24 - Sun (FOX)
15. Without A Trace (CBS)
16. Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
17. ER (NBC)
18. Law and Order: CI (NBC)
19. NCIS (CBS)
20. The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS)