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Review: Project Runway - Finale, Part I

Althea worries about her collection.
(S06E13) Project Runway's part one of their finale episodes are always boring. This episode was no exception. We learn more about the hopefuls' backgrounds, peek at their final collection, Tim critiques them, they come to New York, and get some bombshell in one form or another.

This year's bomb is recycled from season two: a last minute thirteenth piece with the help of an eliminated contestant. This time, the muse model picks their final model.

The first half of the show was all about watching Tim in awkward situations: struggling to use a freight elevator, baking biscuits, and interacting with dogs.

Continue reading Review: Project Runway - Finale, Part I

Review: America's Next Top Model - Hawaii Hip Hop

Jennifer An poses in front of the Hawaiian landscape
(S13E10) America's Next Top Model continues to chug along with its petite models. At this point, the girls are pigeon holed into their story lines: Nicole - the awkward one, Laura - the southern belle, Erin - the prissy high schooler, and Jen - the sweet girl with an eye problem. They basically repeat something that fits their storyline.

Though I haven't mentioned this until now, what is up with Jen having these overly loud, sugary interviews? Screaming "Why Me?" followed by her squealing excitement for Laura picking her. It's almost as if she knows that she was stunt-cast and decided to have a fun time before she got eliminated.

Continue reading Review: America's Next Top Model - Hawaii Hip Hop

MTV's Jersey Shore: yet another chance to laugh at the Garden State

As much as I loved The Real Housewives of New Jersey, I knew that I was loving it for all the wrong reasons. I'm New Jersey all the way: born here, went to college here, have lived here all my life. About ten percent of the people I've met fit the yelling, lunkheaded Jersey stereotypes we've seen on TV since The Sopranos; what I don't understand is where reality TV's recent fascination has been with the louder residents of the Garden State.

First it was Housewives. Then it was Cake Boss, where Buddy Valastro and his crew scream and gesture so much it's a wonder how their cakes don't collapse in the oven. Even TLC's relatively gentle Masters of Reception seemed to highlight the more "Jersey" aspects of my home state.

Now we have Jersey Shore, an MTV reality series premiering December 3. It documents goings on last summer in a shore house with the "hottest, tannest, craziest Guidos," according to this particularly annoying promo:


Continue reading MTV's Jersey Shore: yet another chance to laugh at the Garden State

All you guys who wanted to date Omarosa will finally get your chance

OmarosaI'm not sure what type of person would want to date Omarosa, one of the great villains in reality show history, but we're about to find out.

Donald Trump and Omarosa are teaming up (with TV One) for Omarosa's Ultimate Merger, which will have 12 guys competing in various challenges to see who wins her heart. Her cold, cold heart.

Trump will appear on the show too (of course) and it will be filmed at the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Las Vegas. Not sure I like the name though. It would be better if it was titled So You Want To Try To Date Omarosa or Who Wants To Date An Omarosa or Are You Smart Enough Not To Date Omarosa?

Actually, the best title for the show is unfortunately already taken: Shark Tank.

If you're a bad cook then you'll love Food Network's new show

Food Network logoIt was just a matter of time before Food Network showcased people who actually can't cook. On January 3, the new food competition show Worst Cooks in America will debut. The winner gets $25,000!

Just so we're clear, the winner doesn't get $25,000 for making worse food than their competitors. No, the show will put the contestants through a boot camp where they will learn to take their skills (which probably consist of boiling water for pasta and microwaving Boston Market frozen dinners) and actually become better cooks. The food will be judged by a panel of food experts (of course) and whoever is the most improved wins. The two chefs leading the teams will be Anne Burrell and Beau MacMillan.

Continue reading If you're a bad cook then you'll love Food Network's new show

Discovery serves up storms, ghosts, crabs for Thanksgiving

Discovery will serve reality show marathons this Thanksgiving.Nothing says "holiday season" like tornadoes, ghosts and animal dung. So, Discovery Channel is running marathons of their reality shows to make the yuletide season gay.

The network's scheduling release states that Mythbusters, Deadliest Catch, Dirty Jobs, Storm Chasers and Ghost Lab will each get a turn offering guys something to watch while they undo their belts after the big meal (and while the ladies do the dishes).

Here's the programming slate for when you're not watching football or A Year without a Santa Claus:

Nov. 26: Thanksgiving Day: Mythbusters – 9 a.m. ET/PT – 3AM ET/PT
Nov. 27: Day after Thanksgiving: Deadliest Catch – 9 a.m. – 3 a.m.
Nov. 28: Dirty Jobs – 10 a.m. – 3 a.m.
Nov. 29: Storm Chasers – 1 p.m. – 3 a.m.

Dec. 24: Christmas Eve: Dirty Jobs – 9 a.m. – 3 a.m.
Dec. 25: Christmas Day: Mythbusters – 9 a.m. – 3 a.m.
Dec. 26: Deadliest Catch – 9 a.m. – 3 a.m.

Dec. 31: New Year's Eve: Ghost Lab – 10 a.m. – 3 a.m.
Jan. 1, 2010/New Year's Day: Mythbusters – 9 a.m. – 3 a.m.

The voice of Oprah rules over all 'Life' on Earth

Oprah Winfrey (not the lizard) is narrating BBC's Life.Oprah Winfrey is all over the news these days as she fires up her new network and considers moving her talk show from Chicago to Los Angeles.

Now, we get to listen to her narrate the epic BBC nature series, Life. Subtitled by the BBC with, "The Definitive Exploration of the Adaptability and Diversity of Life on Earth," the eleven-part series examines evolution and the behaviors that animals devised to live, thrive and survive. Discovery Channel is bringing it your way in March after Oprah vocalizes a bit.

I know the BBC has done this sort of thing before. In fact, no one does it better. But this time around, they're using state-of-the-art high-definition filming techniques.

But why is Oprah necessary? I have nothing particularly against the woman. Despite her massive media pull, I manage to more or less steer clear of her estrogen fest. But, the BBC production comes pre-narrated with world-famous naturalist, Sir David Attenborough. Is over-dubbing necessary?

Continue reading The voice of Oprah rules over all 'Life' on Earth

The Next Iron Chef: Umami (Deliciousness) - open thread

The Next Iron ChefThe only things I know about umami comes from those Kikkoman commecials, the ones that talk about umami being the fifth taste (after sweet, salty, sour, and bitter). Last night's Next Iron Chef was all about that, and they even had Iron Chef Morimoto as a judge.

What did you think? The show is down to its final three contestants. Can you picture one of them standing next to other Iron Chefs like Morimoto, Flay, Cora, Batali, and Symon in Kitchen Stadium?

Susan Boyle is going to Dancing with the Stars

susan_boyle_singingEverybody's favorite singing newcomer, England's Susan Boyle, is going to appear on Dancing With the Stars this week. She will not be doing the samba or the quick step. Susan will be singing, promoting her upcoming CD, I Dreamed A Dream, in stores on November 24.

Luckily for Susan, Sharon Osbourne will not be on the show. Or maybe it's lucky for Sharon because after the horrible things she said about SB, Susan would probably deck her if she had the chance. Last week, while on Sirius radio, Sharon was compelled to share her opinion of Susan's sudden success.

Continue reading Susan Boyle is going to Dancing with the Stars

Syfy's Ghost Hunters Academy busts spirits with rookies

Ghost Hunters Academy The Ghost Hunters name is starting to rival CSI and Law & Order in the spinoff department. What else do all three of these franchises share? There's just as much hard paranormal evidence in the last two as appears in the first.

Please don't misunderstand me -- since I've gone off on this topic before. I'm not saying ghosts don't exist. I'm not saying there's no afterlife. I don't begrudge any scientific investigation into parapsychology or realms described as paranormal. I'd just like any of the endless march of "ghost-based" shows to dig up one scintilla of proof that they found something and, therefore, deserve to be on TV every week.

The latest entry is Syfy's Ghost Hunter's Academy -- sort of Most Haunted meets The Rookies from the 70s. Each week, ghost hunting "professors" (the show's conceit, not mine) Steve Gonsalves and Dave Tango welcome first-time paranormal investigators onto The Atlantic Paranormal Society (TAPS) team.

Continue reading Syfy's Ghost Hunters Academy busts spirits with rookies

The best thing you'll see all day: Real Housewife Kim Zolciak performing Tardy for the Party

I don't actually watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but as I have a pulse and an internet connection, I am all to aware of housewife Kim Zolciak and her uh, club jam, "Tardy for the Party." For those of you who may not be totally up on the whole Atlanta saga, Kim is the one who's dating a married man named Big Papa and wears a wig, which she said was due to a battle with cancer-- until she admitted that she had never actually had cancer; she just thought she might one time until she actually went to the doctor.

So anyway, The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion, hosted by Bravo exec Andy Cohen, is airing on Thursday, and part of the festivities involve Kim singing her "hit." You guys, there are two important items to note about this performance: 1) she has dancers and 2) she is not lip-synching.

Have you ever had a drunken friend or relative get up and sing a really inappropriate karaoke song, and you just smiled uncomfortably and prayed for it to be over quickly? This is like that-- except it is most definitely not over quickly.

Review: America's Next Top Model - Dive Deeper

Laura Kirkpatrick has an underwater shoot(S13E09) We're down to the final five on America's Next Top Model and one thing that Top Model is doing better this season than Project Runway is capitalizing on their location. Sure, Laura may look like a tomato during interviews, but at least Hawaii is being represented through their beaches and sugarcane plantations.

This week's challenges were basically recycled from previous seasons. A falling challenge (similar to Season Six's Falling Fairytale photoshoot) and an underwater challenge (which was done in a pool in Season Two for Quench Water). Both proved to be more interesting because of the beautiful location.

Continue reading Review: America's Next Top Model - Dive Deeper

Is South Park too focused on reality TV?


Even though the show has been on forever, I still enjoy my weekly dose of the new South Parks. But lately, they seem to be running out of targets or have narrowed their focus too much on one particular evil: reality television.

The season opener featured a rather nasty swipe at Disney's Jonas Brothers. The recent "Dead Celebrities" chortle-fest took a much needed pot shot at Ghost Hunters, aka, "the gayest f#*$ing show on television." And last week launched an all out attack on Discovery's Whale Wars and Deadliest Catch, particularly against Whale Wars star Paul Watson.

The show has always been a bitch to write and making every episode a satirical masterpiece is impossible without suffering a full-on breakdown. But should the show lay off reality TV and take some bolder shots at reality, which as we all know are two completely different things?

Real Housewives of New Jersey to guest on Mercy

mercy_duo_nbcThe other day I wrote about watching Mercy during a mini-marathon that aired last Saturday on Bravo. Is it possible that someone at NBC Universal was reading my plaudits for the company using Bravo to promote an NBC drama series? I think so, because today comes to the news that two of the Real Housewives of New Jersey will guest on Mercy.

That's right; you didn't read it wrong. Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita, the two who were having babies in season one of the show, will appear as themselves on the NBC medical drama, according to the Ausiello Files.

Continue reading Real Housewives of New Jersey to guest on Mercy

Heroic Brit dies protecting CBBC kids from elephant

A CBBC tour guide died protecting children from a mad elephant.When watching any nature special from PBS or the BBC featuring dangerous wild animals photographed at reasonably close range, how often do you stop and consider the very real danger men and women are in while getting that footage?

That danger proved deadly this past weekend when a rampaging African elephant trampled and killed a British tour guide (Anton Turner, 38) who was trying to protect a group of children visiting Tanzania.

The kids were in Africa serving as TV hosts for the CBBC (BBC's children's channel) show, Serious Explorers. Seven children were planning to follow the steps of Victorian explorer Dr. David Livingston.

Reports say, when the elephant charged a group of the CBBC kids, Turner challenged the elephant and attempted to shoot his rifle at the animal. But, he was unable to open fire in time and was trampled. Turner leaves behind a pregnant wife.

Continue reading Heroic Brit dies protecting CBBC kids from elephant

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