House

(S06E19) "Like so many things, you were born that way." - House to Ted, the patient, about his completely treatable condition

There's only two more episodes to go for this season of 'House,' and it seems that his pain is acting up and Gregory House has sublimated his need for meds with liquor. Waking up on rocket ship sheets was a dead give away that something was definitely off with the doctor. More on that and how lactating nipples don't make good coffee creamer.

(S06E18) "When you think about it, tons of couples do what we do. It's just that with most of them, one spouse doesn't know. We decided things work better when people tell each other the truth." - Julia, the patient, on her open marriage to Tom

Last night's episode had a theme that didn't involve lessons like eating nothing but rabbit meat is lethal or that hemlock can cause tachycardia and uncontrollable salivation.

It was all about relationships and trust. Some were obvious like the never-ending drama between Taub and his exasperated wife and some not so much like the unspoken one between Wilson and House and the woman who has come between them.

And just so you know, this episode doesn't end with unnecessary double-male spooning, so feel free to read on ahead while you enjoy that tasty Jimmy Dean pancake sausage on a stick.

(S06E17) "If you force him to choose, you might not like the answer." - Cuddy's advice to House on how to handle Wilson reconnecting with his first wife

One of the hardest things for a long running show to do is keeping the audience guessing. That's not normally a problem for 'House,' a show that throws around more 15-letter medical words and scientific terms than a 'NOVA' marathon.

(S06E16) "I'm going to be dead in a few hours. Your secrets couldn't be safer, unless you're keeping them from yourself." - Nash to House

'House' entered into one of television's most overused cliches last night: the "randomly stuck together somewhere plot line." It's happened so many times that attempting to count all of them would require a NASA scientist, a team of fact checkers and one of those slick-looking slide rules that only a handful of people left in the universe know how to use.

This time, the team gets separated into different parts of the hospital during a lock down. Each has their own interesting stories to tell as they whittle away the hours, and each have varying degrees of success.

Here's tonight's TV lineup (all times Eastern). All shows mentioned are new, unless otherwise noted.

8:00 to 9:00
ABC: 'Dancing With the Stars' -- Two hours
CBS: 'How I Met Your Mother' and 'Rules of Engagement'
The CW: 'Life Unexpected'
FOX: 'House' -- Finally!
BBC America: 'Top Gear'
Cartoon Network: 'Adventure Time With Finn & Jake'
Nick: 'Glen Martin, DDS'
TLC: 'Little People, Big World' -- Two 30-minute episodes

9:00 to 10:00
CBS: 'Two and a Half Men' and 'The Big Bang Theory'
The CW: 'Gossip Girl'
FOX: '24'
NBC: 'Trauma'
A&E: 'Intervention'
Cartoon Network: '6TEEN'
TLC: 'Ultimate Cake Off'
TruTV: 'Operation Repo' (starts at 9:30)

10:00 to 11:00
ABC: 'Castle'
CBS: 'CSI: Miami'
A&E: 'Runaway Squad' -- Two 30-minute episodes
FX: 'Damages'
MTV: 'True Life'
Oxygen: 'Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood'
Showtime: 'Nurse Jackie' and 'United States of Tara'
TNT: 'Saving Grace'
Travel: 'Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations'

Check your local TV listings for more information. After the jump, the late night talk shows.

With the success of 'American Idol,' 'Glee,' and other music-related franchises, it should be no wonder that Fox wants to milk it by having music-themed episodes of several of its shows for the end of April and beginning of May. These shows include 'The Simpsons,' 'Family Guy,' 'Bones,' 'Fringe,' and 'House.'

Before anybody panics and starts envisioning David Boreanaz or Hugh Laurie breaking out in a rendition of 'Feelings' in the middle of a dramatic moment, the article states that the episodes will be music-themed but not necessarily musicals. 'Family Guy' often has musical numbers in their episodes and it's not even a stretch to have Homer and Marge to break out in song. But the character of Bones? Or House? No way.

House will most likely treat a rock star patient and Bones will have to investigate something involving an opera singer or some such plot device. Yes, it's silly, but it could be worse. Remember when NBC went green for a week and introduced Greenzo? I rest my case.

One of my least favorite internet memes is the race among people who frequent TV blogs to be the first one to comment that a show has "jumped the shark." I'll take a busload of LOLCATS and Epic Beard Men if it means that I won't have to see "JTS!" four minutes into a show's pilot episode.

That said, the fact that JTS has been defanged by ubiquity doesn't take away from its ability to be a useful tool for analyzing pop-culture. Shows tend to weaken over time and the JTS moment is a fun way to decide where, exactly, the wheels came off.

In thinking about JTS, it occurred to me that there are a few warning signs that a show is about to jump. Today I'll be looking at the first in a series of canaries in the mineshaft: when characters become caricatures.

(S06E15) I couldn't find a really good quote to transcribe or even characterize this week's episode, because the whole turn of events are a jumbled lump of clay in my head.

Normally, a show that goes by so fast that I need a drag chute just to figure out what's going on would turn me away from it, but the dramatic tension that 'House' creates kept me velcroed in front of it all the way to the end.

Sure my head still hurts from trying to understand the science of it all, but the dramatic and even comedic angles makes for some fine-tasting Advil.

(S06E14) Usually when an episode of a long running show just goes through its tried and true motions, it feels lazy and slapped together. But in the case of 'House,' it makes for some tasty viewing, even with the vivid description of poop.

Note to self: never order the Bangkok Special before sitting down to watch 'House.'

Yesterday, the leaders of America gathered in Washington, D.C. for a health care summit. It was an effort to gnash out the differences between the proponents for a comprehensive health care bill and those who think the current proposed legislation is a waste of paper. We're not weighing in on the debate, other than to say it's a damn serious subject and one that needs solutions, not rhetoric.

But as a television production, the health care summit was a snoozefest. Whether you like any of the political personalities involved, it didn't change the fact that while Chris Matthews was giddy about the political theater, it was dreary TV.

On Saturday night, the Writers Guild of America revealed the big winners for 2010, honoring the best in TV, movies and other media, but for our purposes, let's just stick with television. And as such, we can say the they rounded up the usual suspects.

'Mad Men' was tops in Drama Series and '30 Rock' was tops in Comedy Series. There was something new honored, Best New Series was 'Modern Family,' but seeing how the category makes new a requirement, it's not that shocking that it won.

However, in the episodic categories, for individual shows, there were was variance. The pilot of 'Modern Family' won in a tie with '30 Rock' for the episode 'Apollo, Apollo.' And the two part episode of 'House' -- 'Broken, Part 1 and Part 2' -- overcame all the 'Mad Men' nominees to take the WGA prize.

Good news for everyone who likes to plan their schedules far in advance. Fox has released the season finale dates for some of their most popular shows. If you already know that you won't be around, you can set the DVR right now. Either that or cancel that Aruba trip for fear of missing the finale of 'The Cleveland Show'.

The network is giving a whopping 127 minutes for the finale of 'American Idol'. There is also a double-feature finale of '24' and and a one-hour finale for 'Family Guy'. Oddly, they are showing a repeat of 'House' during its season finale (most likely they're showing the new episode finale and a repeat back-to-back). It doesn't seem likely that any of the listed shows will be series finales.

The finales end in early June with 'Glee', which paves the way for repeats during the summer. So which season finale are you looking most forward to?

(S06E14) "You can do it." - Cuddy

I get the reason for making an episode like '5 to 9.' Long running show that's popular. Established characters and story structure. The desire for David Shore, Katie Jacobs, and the rest of the 'House' crew to try something different is to be expected. However, that doesn't mean they should have done it. '5 to 9' wasn't a bad episode (in many ways, it felt like a back-door pilot for Cuddy), but it was, in a word, pointless. At the end of the day, '5 to 9' doesn't really add anything to the world of 'House,' and its outside-the-box attempt at being different just ended up being forgettable.

Cynthia Watros, the dearly departed Libby on 'Lost,' is leaving Hurley for Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard). Watros will be appearing in a recurring role on 'House,' playing one of Wilson's many ex-wives. In fact, not only is she playing Wilson's very first ex-wife, but it looks like they'll be rekindling their relationship.

Watros is set to appear on several episodes, so it appears as though House (Hugh Laurie) doesn't chase her off right away. Of course, she probably became intimately acquainted with House during her marriage to Wilson, so his antics can't be anything that new to her. Regardless, it takes a brave woman to step back into that minefield -- especially now that House and Wilson are roommates. He kind of makes the Smoke Monster look like a gentle breeze.

We haven't seen Wilson in a real relationship since Cutthroat Bitch (Anne Dudek) died, and since I don't think House said "yes" to Wilson's recent proposal, it seems like a good time to have him fall in love again. What do you think? Do you want to see Wilson with his ex, or should he really just focus on his true soul-mate, House?

(S06E13) "Hey, I don't care where an idea comes from as long as it makes sense and embarrasses someone." - House

I've long wondered if Foreman's brother Marcus was someone we'd eventually meet on 'House.' That being said, it's been six and a half seasons and even though we'd heard bits and pieces about him, I had reconciled that he just wasn't going to show up. If anything, the timing felt a little odd.

But if you think about it, the entire plot featuring Marcus (Orlando Jones) was just about as generically evergreen as plots on 'House' get -- this could've fit into any previous season had the writers felt like telling this story sooner. I wish they had, especially if you consider the fact that after all the cast shake-ups this show has been through, Foreman has been one of the few constants. It's about time we found out more about the guy.