TVSquad

(S05E09) Things were getting too exciting during the competition episodes, so the producers brought in Toni Basil to join Nigel and Mary on the panel. Even though it's a big deal to be receiving a prestigious award, I still found myself dozing off when she started talking about it.

This year, the competition is so tight that it's hard to figure out who's going to be in the bottom three from week to week. So many of the contestants are really impressive in picking up the different styles, and that continued tonight.

What also continued was couples who were great last week being not so great this week. And there are still so many couples that there are only a few favorites sprinkled throughout. In other words "What have you done for me lately?" is in full effect. So what did they do?

"Your metal rod is showing" – Sonya Tayeh

(S05E01) Screams and potential contestants wailing to the cameras start off our show. What did I get myself into? Cat Deeley preps us that we have thousands of dancers, six cities, lots of tears, and one obsessively screaming judge. I guess we don't get an explanation as to what happened to Joshua, other than making it to the opening credits. Whatever did happen to Step Up 3D? Let's hope it doesn't go straight to DVD.

We started the night with New York City's auditions, specifically in Brooklyn. Cat does the Brooklyn Dance while more people dance for the camera. Our judges today are Nigel, Mary, and Tabitha & Napoleon, our favorite lyrical hip-hop choreographers. The dancers still have the same process for auditions: win (straight to Vegas), lose (rejection) or draw (choreography round where the judges will make their decisions).

(S07E23/S07E24) "You don't know what I've done." - Jack

When 24 first premiered back in 2001, we were all taken off guard. It was so different, innovative, and action packed - like nothing we'd seen on TV ever before. But do you remember why it worked so well? Sure, there was a vast conspiracy that enshrouded the whole day in darkness, but for the most part, it was all about Jack and his family. The Bauers were what made Day 1 so memorable.

You felt horrible when Jack held Teri's lifeless body in those final seconds, and it was because the season focus was weighted towards them and not Drazen or Nina. Because of that formula, the show took off and with each season from then on, 24 became bigger than itself and so did the conspiracies. Then the bubble burst with Day 6 when it all came crashing down - we'd seen enough nukes, bio-pathogens, and Middle Eastern terrorists. The difference? All of that became more important than Jack. After Day 7's stellar finale, I think we can all agree that 24 has found its roots again.

(S04E21/S04E22) "I don't want to run anymore." - Michael

I'm happy that Prison Break is over. I've been a fan since the beginning, and even though it tested your threshold for absurd and ridiculous TV moments on more than one occasion, Prison Break was still one helluva ride. While part of me wishes that it had gone out on a creative high after maybe a season or two, I still appreciate what Paul Scheuring, Matt Olmstead, and Co. tried to do in season three and on some level, I even respect what went down here in the final season - arguably the drama's worst. That being said, tonight's two-hour finale offered some solid closure while wrapping up most everyone's story in ways that actually felt believable.

(S05E16/S05E17) "See you in Los Angeles." - Jack

I'm not really sure where to begin, but I think this is a pretty good starting point: holy crap. Just like every season finale before this one, Lost has once again left us all with our jaws on the floor and our brains on overdrive. This changes everything. The big question? How does it change everything? Is it January yet?

(S01E04) - "What's the point of having power if you don't use it?"

The inevitable has slowly become reality. NBC has shuffled Kings off to a Saturday time slot, affectionately known in TV watcher circles as the "death slot." Kings has now been left in that barren viewer-less void of TV's unwanted to rot in the hot sun of the shunned. Does anyone else smell bacon burning?

It's a shame really. Last Saturday's episode was able to give the series a good kick in the ass, even after the last episode felt like an action packed opus setting itself up for a shark jumper.

"Judgment Day" has turned Kings from a simple game of "Candy Land" where the good make it to the land of sugary goodness and the evil end up stuck in the Chocolate Swamp to a complex mesh of chess where the pieces are allowed to move each other.

(S01E03) - "We make amends Silas; the pure, the unblemished for our sins."

Last week's episode seemed to have blown Kings' war wad early and left us with nothing worthwhile to look forward to other than a long nap.

Episode three, however, pumps the series full of B-12, beta blockers and a spoonful of blood thinner and gives it the energy and vigor it needs to be a pleasure machine once again.

"First Night" gets Kings back to makin' bacon by bringing back old enemies and giving them the ammunition to launch their own attacks. It also creates new ones who have the hate production capabilities of a mutated Darth Vader spliced with Paris Hilton and a dash of Dick Cheney.

(S08E02) - "We all know what Bruno wants." - Chuck

The show was a little off this week with the random sound cue during Ty's judging, the frozen video with Lawrence, the new judges paddles and Steve-O, but the performances were a lot better than last week. Most of the weaker dancers improved, and the rest basically stayed in the same scoring bracket. After the jump, an overall look at all the performances.

South Park kicked off their 13th season (dear God, did I just say 13th? I couldn't feel older right now if I had to get my bifocals to read the instructions on a box of Depends) the way the show's longtime fans expect them to kick off every season: by kicking the latest flavor of the month, flash in the pan whatever square in the bean bag.

Sometimes their target is a woman, of course, and that's when they do whatever women call it when they get so mad, they physically want to fight each other. I believe the word is "hot as #*$(ing hell."

I cheated and looked it up on Wikipedia. Sorry.

(S08E01) After hearing the lineup of "celebrities" that were performing, I was definitely on the fence. Then Jewel and Nancy O'Dell dropped out, and I was excited to see how Holly Madison and Melissa Rycroft would perform with less time than everyone else.

It floors me that these two looked better than several of the men. There was the most evil of glares coming from Jewel during the whole show. After the jump, a quick rundown of all the performances.

Since I accepted TiVo as my personal savior, I have been afforded an opportunity to watch some great shows that air in the wee hours of the morning. Shows that, until now, have only been enjoyed by air traffic controllers with low attention spans, speed freaks and easily confused frat boys.

One of them is All in the Family, which airs at 8 a.m. on TV Land, the network with its rack of sour tasting reality shows and shrinking share of old sitcoms and serials that is in danger of becoming the new MTV.

A week ago, one of the show's -- and all of television history's greatest -- gems found its way to my "Now Playing List." That famous episode where Sammy Davis Jr. makes the trek to 704 Hauser Street and gives Archie a big wet one on the cheek. I had not seen this show since I was a kid, back in the 80s when All in the Family reruns flooded my television, but this most recent viewing unveiled an interesting factoid that almost went unnoticed.

(S05E06) "We're not going to Guam, are we?" - Lapidus

Whether you've been prepared for it or not, Lost is becoming a very different show. I'm not bringing that up as a negative. I'm not bringing it up as a positive either. This is just the natural progression of what has become the most densely written sci-fi drama ever. Eventually, we were going to reach a point that just seemed utterly ridiculous even by Lost's standards.

Let me put it this way - for as far-fetched a show as Lost is (that isn't a bad thing), I've never really felt like I had to suspend my disbelief to buy into it. With this episode, I did.

(S05E05) "Um... he's Korean. I'm from Encino." - Miles

The beautiful thing about Lost is that there's never two bad episodes in a row. That's not to say that "The Little Prince" wasn't good, but it certainly wasn't what we've come to expect. It was just too slow. Not the case this week - "This Place is Death" roared back and didn't let up once during its 60 minutes of perfection.

After last week's revelation that Jin was indeed still alive (Was anyone actually surprised by this?), the attention immediately shifted from him to the people who rescued him - Danielle Rousseau's research team. Fans (myself included) were furious when Danielle was killed so nonchalantly last season, mainly because we still had so many questions about her backstory and history on the island. Wish granted.

One of last week's most entertaining web reads was an article in Slate about The Big Bang Theory. In it, writer Paul Collins expends about 1500 words wondering if Sheldon, the genius / social misfit played so ably by Jim Parsons, has Asperger's syndrome.

I can just sense thousands of readers right now smacking their heads with their palms and going, "I knew it!" right now. And I bet right now you're also scrambling to Google the condition and see what the characteristics are. No need; they're right here. Just in that website's brief description, you can see a lot that goes into the character of Sheldon: affected speech patterns, a small and unexpandable circle of interest, and -- most of all -- difficult two-way social interaction. Seems like Sheldon to a T.

(S05E11) "No one's better at plastering a fake smile and pretending to like someone than Bree Hodge." - Orson

Our favorite desperate characters are back! Sadly, not with a vengeance. But still, you have to admit they were entertaining this week. My favorite scenes were definitely those with Susan and Lee and those with Bree and Delina. But before we get to why these scenes were my favs, let's deal with the ongoing mystery: Dave Williams... err... David Dash.