TVSquad

There's been a lot of flux on CSI, CBS's top rated, long-running, extremely popular forensics-procedural-crime drama (I think that covers all the categories, right?) At the end of last season, Jorja Fox decided not to come back to the show, and her role as Sara was written out in the first two episodes of the year. The producers left the door open for her to return -- they didn't kill her off -- but she's gone.

Tonight is the last of Gary Dourdan as Warrick. He's having trouble off-camera, a serious felony arrest earlier this month for drugs, so his leaving may have been a necessity even if he hadn't chosen to exit. Therefore, it's a good thing to be able to tell you that USA Today reports that Marg Helgenberger has inked a new contract with CSI for two more years. That, coupled with William Petersen's signing a new deal in April, means that CSI is in good shape for the foreseeable future. CBS should be doing the happy-dance.

CBS announced its plans for the 2008-2009 season today. For the most part, things are staying the same, but there are two new sitcoms and four hour dramas planned. Here are the highlights:

Returning: The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Rules of Engagement, The Unit, Cold Case, Numb3rs, Criminal Minds, The Ghost Whisperer, CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, NCIS, 60 Minutes, Without A Trace, Survivor, The Amazing Race

Out: Shark, Moonlight, Cane, Kid Nation, Power of 10, Secret Talents of the Stars, Viva Laughlin, Welcome to the Captain

New: The Worst Week, Project Gary, The Ex List, Eleventh Hour, The Mentalist

Mid-season: Harper's Island, Rules of Engagement

Schedule and detailed descriptions of the new shows coming soon, after the jump.

The CSI/Two and a Half Men writers switch was a very clever promotion for CBS. Fortunately, the writers saw the opportunity to change places as more than just a publicity stunt. They really took the scripting seriously and came up with inventive episodes for each program. If this were a competition to see which team would deliver the better show, who would take on the task of writing winning TV in a genre not their own and succeed beyond expectations, the comedy scribes take the gold. Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn's CSI was pure genius, and if it were up to me, CSI should submit it for an Emmy.

But first there was Two and a Half Men. In an episode called "Fish in a Drawer" (and if somebody could explain what that title means, I'd be most appreciative), the story picked up after Evelyn married Teddy. In the teleplay by CSI regular writers Evan Dunsky and Sarah Goldfinger, Charlie and Courtney check out of the reception for a little romp in his room upstairs only to find Teddy's dead bod on the bed. Talk about spoiling the mood. Teddy wasn't only a corpse, he was a corpse with his pants pulled down around his ankles and lipstick stains on his hoo-ha. The cops were called in, a detective who was a dead ringer for Marg Helgenberger -- played by redhead Jamie Rose -- had the vaguely Bondian name of Jagov, Sloane Jagov. Naturally, Charlie had to make a move on her. He couldn't keep his eyes off her cleavage.

Holy frik! We've only just started to embrace the return of our shows after a shortened strike season. Now, they are almost over. In the next few weeks all of our network favorites will say good-bye for the summer to be replaced with reality shows, reality game shows, reality soap operas, and Regis on primetime (again).

Needless to say, I'm a bit depressed. As I am sure you are as well. But, we will do our duty and press on. Thusly, we here at the sprawling lakefront offices of TV Squad (you choose the lakefront) have compiled list of when your favorite, and not so favorite, shows will be saying good-bye for their summer vacation. As usual, taking the fickleness of the networks, these times and days can change at a moment's notices. We will try to update you of those changes as quickly as our little fingers can type it out.

So, with a leaden heart, here are your season and series finales.

We told you recently about the writing teams of CSI and Two and Half Men switching places for one episode of each show. The first episode airs tonight at 9 on CBS.

The Two and a Half Men episode was written by the CSI staff and is titled "Fish in a Drawer," and I have no idea what that title means. Thursdays CSI episode was written by the Two and a Half Men staff and has a title that's a lot easier to understand: "Two and a Half Deaths." It's about the murder of a despised sitcom star (Chuck Lorre used to work for both Cybill Shepherd and Roseanne Barr - I'm just sayin').

We told you a long time ago about the writers of CSI switching places with the writers of Two and a Half Men for one episode, way back when people thought it was a joke and that it would never actually happen. Well, it's happening, and after the jump is the video to prove it.

The idea came from Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre, who approached CSI executive producer Carol Mendelsohn about switching teams for one episode of each series. The plot involves the murder of a famous Hollywood comedienne/sitcom diva who is difficult on the set of her show, and Lorre is quick to point out that it's NOT based on Cybill Shepherd, who he worked with on her show (*cough cough wink wink*). The video shows the behind the scenes goings on as the shows meet in the writers room and plan her Las Vegas demise.

Two surprises hit me when I read this article about CSI at The Chicago Sun-Times: one, Gary Dourdan might return to the show next season, and two, next season could be the last for the series.

As you've already heard, Dourdan was arrested the other morning for possession of heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and prescription drugs. Seems that the cast and crew have been worried about Dourdan for quite some time and now want to help him even more. I guess sometimes someone has to hit rock bottom before someone intervenes.

CSI star Gary Dourdan was arrested at 5:21 AM and charged with suspected possession of heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and maybe other drugs as well.

He was arrested in Palm Springs, CA when police saw him sleeping in his car early in the morning. When they got to the car and investigated further, Dourdan was arrested for the above offense. He's out on bail.

This arrest will trigger approximately 327 different jokes about the CSI gang helping him and tests being done on the car, etc. Now we just have to figure out whether he's leaving CSI (official word is that Dourdan and the studio came to an understanding on his departure) because of his drug use or (as Keith wonders) he's doing the drugs because he's leaving the show.

Chicken, egg.

I can't believe this is actually happening. I've told you before how much I hate cross-overs on TV; it's tolerable if it's at least the same genre of show. This is like in-breeding. If CSI and Two And a Half Men were brother and sister, then their deformed, incestual love-child is what's going to air on Monday, May 5th.

We actually reported on this almost a year ago, that the writers of CSI and Two And a Half Men were going to flip-flop and pen an episode of the other show. Well it never happened. Now, according to this press release, it's a go. I would imagine that the Writer's Strike played a role in resuscitating this awkward match-up.

Last fall, CSI's Jorja Fox left the show. Two weeks ago, it was confirmed that William Petersen signed a one-year contract to stick around for the show's ninth season. This week, we learn that series regular Gary Dourdan decided to quit the show at the end of the current season.

Dourdan, who plays CSI Level 3 Warrick Brown, and CBS/Paramount came to a mutual decision not renew the actor's contract with the show.

Every time he thinks he's out, they pull him back in again! No, just kidding. It's not like that. This isn't Michael in Godfather 3. Nobody's forcing anyone.

However, it is true that William Petersen is returning to CBS's CSI for the ninth season. This is great news for fans of the show -- and the star -- because for years now he's been yelping about leaving the hit series to do other things. Last year, for example, he was written off the show for a brief hiatus in which Liev Schreiber was cast as a temporary replacement for Gil Grissom in the Las Vegas crime lab.

Television has a long standing tradition of making its stars feel more popular than they really are. As somebody who used to be on TV, five nights a a week, I know what that feeling is like. Generally when that person leaves television, they go on to do movies or change professions and they often become even more popular. However, there is always that TV celebrity who overestimates how much people want to see them and when they leave their hit TV show, it ends up being the biggest mistake of their career.

David Caruso
Before Caruso became the star of the weakest part of the CSI franchise, he was the star of NYPD Blue. After playing numerous bit parts on TV and in film, he finally hit the big time. The critics and the public both agreed that he was a breath of fresh air in what had become a stale world of TV dramas. He was sexy and tough, just like his show and he fit in perfectly with his supporting characters. Then suddenly, Caruso decided he was too talented for the small screen and bailed on the show. His much talked-about departure allowed him to make unwatchable films like Jade and the remake of Kiss of Death that nobody asked for. Luckily, the ginger-haired tough guy was able to revive his career, but one can't help but wonder how different things would have been had he continued to be Detective John Kelly.

Hear that sound -- a nearly inaudible rumbling coming over the horizon? Everyday it is getting louder and louder. Soon, the stampede that is the return of scripted series back from the depths of the WGA strike will overrun our televisions and computer screens, bringing overwhelming joy to our lives.

Okay, that statement may be a little flowery, but the sentiment is still there. After a very long dry period a good many of our favorite comedies and dramas are returning to the television landscape. We've had a taste of it these last few weeks with the return of shows like The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Dirt, The Riches and Smallville. That was just a preview of what is to come. Over the next few weeks we will see the return of The Office, Scrubs, Ugly Betty, all of the CSIs, Battlestar Galactica, and Lost, among others.

The world of primetime TV are primarily set in the real world. The real world based on the fiction they create. So, Law and Order -- in all its incarnations -- is set in New York City, but it's not the real five boroughs. The newspapers they read are not The New York Times, the Post or the Daily News. For contemporary TV fiction, reality is on the margins of the storytelling because you can't really set those characters in a real world. However, when the two worlds intersect, the results can be magic. Here's 8 big-time, primetime examples:

1) Cowboy Up Time
Remember the episode of Lost when Ben wanted to convince Jack that he was in communication with the world outside the island? To prove that he was telling the truth, he showed Jack a video of the Boston Red Sox winning the world series in 2004. You can't get more real than that, right? And yet it was used in one of the most out of this world shows on the air. In fact, using Lost's own terminology, the Red Sox video is a constant truth in a universe that's a complete fiction.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist, let alone a forensic specialist, to detect that the CSI franchise is hot. CBS currently boasts three shows with CSI in the title -- CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: New York -- four if you include the non-Jerry Bruckheimer produced military procedural NCIS. So, then, it shouldn't come as a surprise that CSI is expanding. No, there's not a new CSI TV show happening, but there is an amusement park variation on CSI coming to life at Magic Mountain, the Valencia, California tourist attraction. (By the way, isn't it nice that Valencia didn't get nuked for real like it did on 24 last season?)