TVSquad

Let's get the bad/obvious news out of the way first: Despite what ER showrunner David Zabel told TV Guide in a recent interview, George Clooney will not -- repeat NOT -- be returning to the show for it's 15th and final season.

According to Clooney's publicist, "He is on record as saying he is not coming back. It is something he has already done. He is busy making movies." If you're an optimist, though, you can always hope for a surprise Clooney return a la the 2000 ER season finale, in which Georgie showed up at the very end of Julianna Margulies' farewell ep.

On a more positive note, there are plenty of actors who ARE joining popular existing series or are attached to promising upcoming projects. A rundown of these casting coups ensues.

A CBS press release landed in my inbox today with this earth-shattering news: CBS's fall programming ads (20 total) will be featured exclusively in People's Sept. 22 issue.

From the release: "In a special arrangement with the magazine, CBS will be the exclusive broadcast advertiser in the issue, on stands Sept. 12." Of course, that's right before the launch of CBS's new fall lineup.

And it sounds like this might be a first. George Schweitzer, president of CBS Marketing Group says, "CBS has long valued its relationship with People, and we're elated that they worked with us to pull off this first-time strategy to be the sole broadcast advertiser in this well-timed issue." You know, whatever. Blah, blah, blah.

So why should we care? Honestly, I really don't. I just keep thinking, People? What, they couldn't come up with anything snappier? Like, I dunno ... maybe Entertainment Weekly? Vanity Fair? I guess with 43 million readers, they'll reach a lot of people in People.

As Jane wrote a couple of weeks ago, CBS was hot on the heels of landing a big name star to fill the void when William Petersen leaves CSI later this year. The names bandied about included Kurt Russell and John Malkovich, and one other major motion picture star, Laurence Fishburne. Today, the network announced Laurence Fishburne will indeed be the new addition to CSI.

His character is a forensic scientist, like Grissom, but don't expect him to have Gil's fascination with insects. No, Fishburne's man has other bugs: he's a former pathologist and college lecturer who's focused on why people commit acts of violence. It should be interesting to see how his preoccupation with the why integrates with the other CSI gang who are all Grissom-trained and generally obsessed with how a crime is done and who done it.

Fishburne will be introduced in the ninth episode when his character meets members of the CSI team during a murder investigation and ends up joining them.

CSI fans have been clutching their hearts in agony upon learning that William Petersen would be leaving the role of brainy crimebuster Gil Grissom. I don't watch CSI regularly, and even I know that he's the heart of the show.

Petersen will be returning for occasional guest appearances, but will the show ever be the same? Maybe not, but it doesn't have to die a slow, painful death either.

Laurence Fishburne is in talks to succeed Peterson as the star of the show, and I think he has the chops to do it. His monologue in the feature film Bobby gave me goosebumps and turned me into a diehard fan.

It's coming. The table is set, the players are on the field, the sails are raised, and the pretty maids are all in a row. Of course, I speak of the 2008-09 television schedule. In just a few short weeks viewers will be able to dine on a number of favorite and new dishes that are being served by the networks as well as the increasing number of cable channels who are delving into original programming.

While other fall seasons have come and gone with nary a whimper, this season may be different. Due to the prolonged Writers Strike many shows ended their seasons quite early. Programs like Life, Private Practice, Pushing Daisies, and Heroes haven't aired original episodes since the end of 2007. Heck, there hasn't been a new episode of The Shield since June of last year! So, the beginning of the 2008-09 season will be a second chance for some of these shows, particularly the ones that premiered last season, to show their worth to fans and the networks.

The first day of the combined CBS / CW / Showtime part of the tour kicked off with the executive session from CBS Entertainment president Nina Tassler. Before she got on stage, the network showed a montage of their shows. It was then I realized, "Boy, I really don't watch anything on this network, do I?" I mean, outside of the Monday comedies and The Price is Right, there isn't one show on the Eye net that I tune in on a regular basis.

Anyway, she addressed the departure of William Peterson from CSI, just about right off the bat, giving the gathered writers a clue as to the nature of the character who will be coming in to fill his void. Oh, and Tassler is studying to become a cantor. For some reason, a reporter asked her about that.

We told you yesterday about William Petersen leaving his role as Gil Grissom on CBS' CSI. Now comes word that a bunch of actors have either been asked to take his place or have at least been talked about taking his place.

First on the list is John Malkovich, who was actually asked to take over the role but said 'no' (that would have made him a strong contender for this award next year). Other names that have been brought up include Kurt Russell and Laurence Fishburne.

Wow, those are two exciting names, actually. Two strong movie actors with TV ties. I can picture both of them in the role and really giving the show a little jolt. Personally, I think they should hire Tim Daly, have the team go private, and change the show's title to Eyes.

After the jump, some more names that might be added to the list...

Just because William Petersen signed a contract in May that said he was going to stay on CSI, doesn't mean that he's going to, you know, stay on CSI. As it turns out, Petersen, who does double-duty as Gil Grissom and executive producer of the long-running procedural, had a clause in his contract that is allowing him to leave the show after this season's tenth episode. Both Petersen and CBS are quick to point out, however, that we will not be seeing the last of Gil Grissom.

Petersen plans to remain actively involved in CSI and is maintaining his role as executive producer. Although he will no longer be a series regular, he's definitely not planning on leaving for good, saying, "I'm in a great place in terms of knowing that I'll be more free to make choices. And I'm responsible enough to not do it in a way that would hurt [the show]."

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP

Are you anxiously awaiting news of who was in that SUV that exploded? Still fraught with worry over how Gibbs is going to get his team back together? Or maybe you are just excited that Survivor is finally going to be beamed into your living room in glorious HD. Well, you can start making plans for your fall scheduling now. The eye network has released the schedule of premieres for their new and returning shows.

I'm a little concerned about two things on the schedule. First, The New Adventures Of Old Christine and Project Gary lead into Criminal Minds on Wednesday nights. That's an odd pairing, and I don't think bodes well for either of the comedies. And second, The Unit gets shuffled off to Sunday at 10? NCIS and The Unit have done remarkably well paired up on Tuesdays. Good for The Mentalist, not so much for The Unit. The whole thing kicks off with Survivor on September 18th. The rest of the schedule is after the jump.

Shortly after the release of 2005's Crash in theaters, I remember reading that a TV series based on the film was in the works. I even pitched the story to a TV trade magazine, but the editor didn't go for it. She must have guessed the show would be years in the works, and she was right.

Three years later, a TV series is finally starting to gain some steam. The Hollywood Reporter just posted a story that five actors have joined the cast of the series produced by Don Cheadle, Paul Haggis (pictured), Mark R. Harris, Robert Moresco, Tom Nunan, and Bob Yari, all of whom were involved with the movie. Produced by Lionsgate, the series is anticipated to premiere on Starz in 2009.

Here's a rundown on the actors who've just signed. It's interesting that most of these folks are not big-name actors, which I find refreshing in an era where many mega-movie stars are crossing over into TV:

On Monday, April 28, CSI star Gary Dourdan was arrested in Palm Springs, California. He was asleep in his car and when a police officer approached, he found Dourdan disoriented. The actor was arrested after the cop found cocaine, heroin, Ecstacy, miscellaneous prescription drugs and paraphernalia in the car. Despite pleading guilty to drug possession today, Dourdan will not have to do any jail time. In fact, in the deal his lawyer struck with prosecutors, Gary will get treatment for his drug problems. Basically, he lucked out.

"Once Gary completes 30 hours of a diversion program, his case will be entirely dismissed," said his lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, in a statement to The Associated Press. Dourdan won't have to do any time in a drug rehab facility or behind bars, so all things considered, he's very, very fortunate. He could have faced up to three years or more in jail .

Gary has already departed CSI, and in the season finale, his character was seemingly killed in a point blank shooting. However, when Jorja Fox returns for the fall premiere, Dourdan is reportedly in the show. And not as a ghost. So, now that he won't be doing time, he'll have time to film scenes for CSI and, presumably, wrap up the unfinished business of the CSI crew exposing the corrupt under sheriff.

When Sara left CSI, driving out of Las Vegas on her way to who knows what, he left behind a brokenhearted Gil Grissom. The producers of CSI were wise to keep the door open for the character to return, and that's just what's happening -- at least for one show. According to TV Guide's Michael Ausiello, Jorja Fox will be in the season premiere of CSI. Oh, and she won't be the only former cast mate on the show; so will Gary Dourdan as Warrick.

I know, I know -- I can hear you now, how is that possible? Didn't he die in the CSI finale? When we last saw Warrick, he'd been shot twice and left to die in his car. Could the CSI have survived a bullet through the neck? He was slumped over the steering wheel, so he looked dead. And the sheriff shot him a second time -- presumably a death shot to the head since it was an execution.

I went to Universal Studios in Hollywood on Saturday for the revealing of The Simpsons Ride. Celebs walked the "yellow" carpet. The mayor welcomed the crowds and led the countdown. A human cannonball was shot into the air. And a yellow sheet dropped to reveal a 32-foot Krusty the Clown face at the entrance to the attraction.

Despite the launch being for The Simpsons, there were hardly any members of the cast there on the yellow carpet. Kelsey Grammer (Sideshow Bob) was there along with creator Matt Groening and producer James L. Brooks but no other voice talents were anywhere to be found. See who I talked to and read more about the ride unveiling after the jump.

(S08E17) Last week's special episode of CSI, the one written by the Two and a Half Men creators, was fun and light-hearted and filled with inside jokes and gags. Last night's show was the complete antithesis: brutal, bloody and in the end, shockingly sad. It was Gary Dourdan's last episode of the series. Warrick is gone and the only way you'll ever see him on CSI again will be in flashback or we discover a twin brother or lookalike cousin.

The show picked up on the storyline began last season, when Warrick bedded an exotic dancer from Pigalle who wound up dead. He was cleared back then, but never got over her death. We learn that he's been obsessively stalking Lou Gedda, the club owner whom Warrick believes had her killed. Before you can say, "what the heck is going on with the funeral with the two guys in the coffin," Warrick is caught seemingly red-handed (literally with blood all over his hands!) in Lou's office where the hulking body of the gangster has been riddled with bullets in his barber chair.

There's been a lot of flux on CSI, CBS's top rated, long-running, extremely popular forensics-procedural-crime drama (I think that covers all the categories, right?) At the end of last season, Jorja Fox decided not to come back to the show, and her role as Sara was written out in the first two episodes of the year. The producers left the door open for her to return -- they didn't kill her off -- but she's gone.

Tonight is the last of Gary Dourdan as Warrick. He's having trouble off-camera, a serious felony arrest earlier this month for drugs, so his leaving may have been a necessity even if he hadn't chosen to exit. Therefore, it's a good thing to be able to tell you that USA Today reports that Marg Helgenberger has inked a new contract with CSI for two more years. That, coupled with William Petersen's signing a new deal in April, means that CSI is in good shape for the foreseeable future. CBS should be doing the happy-dance.