Posted Nov 9th 2007 11:43AM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Smallville, Episode Reviews
(S07E07) Okay, this was the first time I ever watched
Smallville and had my jaw drop. Seriously. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked. Let's examine the facts: Lana and Clark are deep into dating mode. Plus, she's been staying at the Kent farm with him ever since she's returned from the dead. However, they've apparently not be able to um ... consummate that relationship because of Clark's superpowers. I guess if he gets amorous with someone, he might accidentally hurt them. Not to mention burn the place down, which he used to do when he'd get turned on.
While it's not clear how they've been getting around this, they sure didn't have to worry about it on this episode. Clark gets struck by lightning while close to some kryptonite, and his powers get transferred to someone else. Yes, again. However, this time he gets to keep his powers, and Lana is the beneficiary of the souped-up abilities. How do they celebrate this event? By knocking boots. Literally. They have such powerful sex that it causes seismic waves across Smallville. In fact, they practically destroy the Kent farm in the process. Holy cow.
Continue reading Smallville: Wrath
Posted Nov 7th 2007 7:42AM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Episode Reviews, Reaper
(S01E07) "In the end, it all comes down to endorphins and genitalia." -- The Devil.
What's this? Even more cat and mouse back and forth between Sam and Andi? AHHH! That sound you might have heard echoing across the country was my head exploding. Nothing to worry about. I got everything back together without too much hassle. An ear here, nose goes about here ... we're all set! Then Booger from
Revenge of the Nerds stepped onto the screen as "The Russ Man," and everything went haywire again. Kabluey.
Now, before I say anything else about this episode, I sure hope they give Curtis Armstrong a recurring spot on the show. That way I can get a dose of Booger and The Devil all in one shot. What more could you ask for from a television show? Not much my friends, not much.
Continue reading Reaper: Love, Bullets and Blacktop
Posted Nov 6th 2007 6:02PM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Episode Reviews, Weeds
(S03E13) As Erin pointed out
last week, worlds collided on the previous episode of
Weeds, and we're still reeling from that collision. While it might not be a big enough bang to open up an Einstein-Rosen Wormhole, it was still pretty damn close. Still, with everything that's been happening on the show, it's hard not to agree with Celia's resounding "Slut!" nametag she's applied to Nancy. Nancy and her brother-in-law Andy both suffer from extremely high, and poorly handled, sex drives.
Case in point: Nancy has recently diddled with a DEA agent (now deceased), Sullivan, and ... things are hot all over again with Conrad. Plus we know how her son Silas likes to get down in the sack, so is this a genetic thing? I'd like to say no, but remember last season when Andy took Shane to the massage parlor with the happy ending? That kid was on cloud nine afterwards.
Continue reading Weeds: Risk
Posted Nov 2nd 2007 2:03PM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Smallville, Episode Reviews
(S07E06) Shades of Superman past! Kara getting sent off-world by her Dad Zor-El while Krypton starts to come apart around her? Egads. Plus all of that crystalline Kryptonian architecture that the
Superman: The Movie provided us with. Then snap cut to Kara almost getting run down in the sky by a jetliner in a really nice special effects shot that probably blew their budget for a show to come later in the season featuring nothing but talking heads. Yes, this episode of
Smallville begins with a bang.
However, that bang turned until a turning stomach once I had to witness that Lionel / Clark hug. Is it me or was that a pretty bizarre and awkward man-embrace? Clark's gone from hating to loving the Luthors more times than I can count, but hugging Lionel? I never thought I'd see the day.
Continue reading Smallville: Lara
Posted Oct 26th 2007 7:21AM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Smallville, Episode Reviews
(S07E05) I guess I never really noticed it before, but isn't it a bit ironic that Warrior Angel is a sort of blend of Lex Luthor and Superman? You've got the waving red cape, Superman, and the bald head, Lex Luthor. Plus, you have the superpowers, courtesy of Superman, and that silver breastplate thing. Remember a few seasons ago when Lex had that silver breastplate on display at the museum ... one that was jewel-encrusted with an S-shield on the front? Nice amalgam,
Smallville writers.
So this was a slightly meta-
Smallville episode, what with having a Warrior Angel movie being shot in Smallville. Which, as you know, is of course the most movie-centric place to shoot a movie about super-powered heroes, right? Plus it gives them a sweet opportunity to include several other movie references in the episode. Notice how Lionel being chained up via a bear trap is a lot like
Misery and
Saw combined? Also, shades of
The Crow, sadly, with the prop gun and the blanks/real bullets. Probably no surprise with Halloween right around the corner.
Continue reading Smallville: Action
Posted Oct 24th 2007 1:40PM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Episode Reviews, Reaper
(S01E05) Okay, first things first. How cool was it that Chief Tyrol from
Battlestar Galactica was a demonic courier from Hell in this episode? His deadpan delivery cracked me up, and he definitely sold me on considering using the devil to deliver things rather than UPS or FedEx. He was definitely much more thorough. I know that Kevin Smith is a huge (no pun intended)
BSG fan, so I wonder if he had a hand in this.
This was definitely one of the busiest
Reaper episodes ever. Finding out who the escaped soul was took a heck of a lot of shoe leather, and while Ben, Sock, and Sam were out searching, I finally figured out who they remind me of ... a sort of weird, dysfunctional, and gender-unbalanced version of the Mystery Machine gang from
Scooby-Doo.
Continue reading Reaper: What About Blob
Posted Oct 23rd 2007 12:01PM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Episode Reviews, Weeds
(S03E11) Well, when we left our story last time, poor Celia (did anyone ever think they'd see the words "poor Celia" together in a sentence about Weeds?) had walked in on Sullivan and Nancy having sex all over the conference table. Oh, and she was also bearing a plate of cupcakes. Double ouch. So, we rejoin this little sexcapade in progress. Apparently. Celia continues to crouch down and eavesdrop on the post-coital bliss, while Nancy cleans up with Kleenex and has her panties down around her knees. Oh, and she tells Sullivan she's quitting and going over to Aguatecture. If that doesn't say classy, then I'll never know what will.
Continue reading Weeds: Cankles
Posted Oct 19th 2007 6:20PM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Smallville, Episode Reviews
(S07E04) Okay, I have to admit, it took me a good long while to wrap my brain around this episode of
Smallville. Not because of the schlocky "Cure" plot, but because of you-know-who. That's right ... Dean Cain. It was just more than a tad freaky seeing him go toe to toe with Clark, wasn't it? While this show is about a billion times better than
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman was, Cain was still Superman. Throw in the fact that Christoper Reeve has been on this show, and you're just a couple of cameos away from having all of the living actors who have played the man (or boy) of steel on
Smallville.
Continue reading Smallville: Cure
Posted Oct 17th 2007 9:41AM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Episode Reviews, Reaper
(S01E04) "MOM! DAD! I NEED A RIDE!" -- Sam, collector of escaped souls from Hell.
At least this morning Sam is able to put things in his mouth without them turning into bugs. However, he does the dreaded "drink orange juice right after brushing your teeth" thing, which is worse than shoving a cockroach in your mouth, *shudder*. That has to be a concoction whipped up in the bowels of Hades. Accompanied by the musical sound of nails on a chalkboard.
I guess over the first few episodes of
Reaper I was guilty of thinking, "Hey, working for the Devil doesn't seem that bad! You get to have fun with your friends, send souls back to Hell, flirt with Missy Peregrym, get a funky package every so often ... where's the downside?" Well, after seeing bugs appear on everything Sam puts in his mouth and having all of his personal possessions start to vanish, I'm starting to see the cons.
Continue reading Reaper: Magic
Posted Oct 12th 2007 11:29AM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Smallville, Episode Reviews
(S07E03) Wow. I feel like all I have to do for this review is to write "Kara enter a beauty contest" and it just speaks for itself. Sure, there's a bit more to it than that, but c'mon ... you were so waiting for the swimsuit competition. Admit it.
So, Clark has been keeping Kara "locked up" on the farm with nothing but
Beauty and the Geek to watch? How coincidental that also airs on The CW. In fact, why didn't they just have her say
Supernatural to give Jared and Jensen a good lead in plug? Plus, what tiny town is able to draw head turning models for a "Miss Sweet Corn" contest like the ones in tonight's episode? That's a town I wouldn't mind living in.
Continue reading Smallville: Fierce
Posted Oct 5th 2007 8:05AM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Smallville, Episode Reviews
(S07E02) It's kissin' cousins (okay, not literally) on
Smallville, and I think I can safely speak for most males in the audience when I say, "I wish I had a cousin that looked like that." So between Chloe, Lois, Lana, and now Kara, Clark has four women pulling him in different directions and two of them are also cousins. Plus they're all a bit too nosy for their own good. Especially that pesky Lois.
So we finally get our first real gander at Supergirl in action, plus her spaceship which has a nuclear-powered alarm system that could in handy in places like Detroit and Los Angeles. I couldn't help belly laughing listening to all of the explanations Clark kept offering to Lois as to what the ship could be. "It's probably some kind of experimental spaceship. It was probably just a styrofoam prop from a school play." What, no weather balloon?
Continue reading Smallville: Kara
Posted Oct 3rd 2007 8:01AM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Episode Reviews, Reaper
(S01E02) "You're just gonna bring escaped souls back to hell. That's cool, right?" -- The Devil
Reaper is one of those rare hour long shows that really feels like 30 minutes. When it draws to a close, I'm thinking "What? It's over already?" The writing on this thing is top-notch, it doesn't pander to the lowest common denominator, and the chemistry between Sam and Sock is perfect. Although the real capper is Ray Wise as the devil. The man has old-school style and charm, and that's something you probably never really expected from the master of hell. Or did you?
Although, one thing has me scratching my noggin after last week's pilot episode: why does Sam keep working his mundane job at The Work Bench? I mean, he's been given pretty cool powers, and gets a "vessel" delivered to him every week that he has to use to catch an escaped soul from hell in. Sounds like a full-time gig to me, so why does he need to keep selling power saws and unloading generators? Oh wait, the hottie he lusts after works there. Okay, I'm sold.
Continue reading Reaper: Charged
Posted Sep 28th 2007 9:01AM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Smallville, Episode Reviews
(S07E01) "I'm like you, only more bizarre."Somebody
Saaaaaavvvvveeeee meeeeeeee ... from interminably long summer breaks from TV shows. I really wondered when this day would come, and it has finally arrived. When we last left our hero(es), Clark literally had an out-of-body experience and split into two halves. Thus was Bizarro born. He's like the Dark Clark (Kal) from seasons past, except he's got a much deeper voice. Testosterone kicks in on
Smallville, apparently. Plus, Bizarro Clark has that jagged, crystalline face that you've come to expect from all the comic books, but it pops in and out, like he just needs some Clearasil or something.
It's refreshing that this season opens up right where we left off, and plus seeing Clark save that little kid and his dad in total Superman-style makes it all worth it. Was that serious heat-vision action or what? Finally, it seems like he's finally getting ready to wear the cape. That little kid's "whoa" was a great capper to the opening teaser. Thank you,
Smallville writers, thank you.
Continue reading Smallville: Bizarro (season premiere)
Posted Sep 23rd 2007 10:05AM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, TV Sports, Watercooler Talk, Heroes
Please tell me that
Heroes is not going to jump the shark one day before it's second season premiere. Please, please, please. If this happens, I will be so upset and forced to make up my own version of the season using action figures, some Play-Doh, and a 1980s cassette recorder. To be honest, I don't really have that kind of time, so I'm pleading for the TV gods to make this something whimsical rather than cringe-inducing.
Apparently Masi Oka will be appearing as Hiro Nakamura on
Sunday Night Football tonight. NBC was tight-lipped about the content of the ad, but based on the pictures they sent out, you can only assume that it involves Masi and Terrell Owens (maybe he's the new Sylar) in front of ... something. Maybe Owens gets Hiro's ability to bend space and time, lord knows it would have helped with his receptions last year.
That green screen leaves a lot to the imagination. So tune in tonight when the Cowboys play the Bears and see what happens. It'll air right before Faith Hill's opening number. Yow.
One more photo for your enjoyment, after the break.
Continue reading Masi Oka and Terrell Owens are ready for some football
Posted Sep 18th 2007 4:41PM by Kevin Kelly
Filed under: OpEd, Reaper
I stopped by my
local alehouse with some friends the other night, to hoist a few and talk about the upcoming Fall TV season. Imagine my amazement when, lo and behold, what should appear on the bar in front of me? Coasters for the CW's upcoming comedy / sci-fi show,
Reaper.
Continue reading CW's Reaper targets the hipster bar crowd
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