TVSquad

Jon Peter Lewis
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It was a little eerie to hear all the shouts for joy when Sanjaya's name was announced as the one to leave Idol this week -- even though I felt just as glad as the audience sounded.

And, while I was happy to see him go, I ran into him backstage on Wednesday, and that stripped away all the dehumanizing effects TV watching had on me. I felt a little guilty about being so happy and felt empathetic for the media blast he's got to face.

It's easy to look at the characters we see on TV and pick them apart, and sometimes we forget that that person is real. Well, in reality TV anyway. I'd forgotten until the other night when I saw the on-staff psychologist. Directly after you get the boot, you have an immediate counseling session. Poor guy -- he's gonna carry some scars around for a while.

I'm running out of things to say. This isn't exactly a recap, nor should it be and there are only so many times I can talk about their clothes or hairstyle, who they looked like, how I can or can't relate to them and the whole Idol experience, etc. before it all sounds the same.

Hmmm, maybe I could start answering some FAQs. Everywhere I go, it's always the same questions, so I'll see if I can get some of them out of the way for you. If you have any other burning questions you want to ask that I don't cover today, feel free to leave a comment here or on my Web site.

Is Simon really mean?
No. But, that might depend on your definition of mean. He'll definitely tell you what he's thinking but not just to be mean to you. In fact, every time I've talked to him he's been really cool.

Does Randy really say "dawg" in private?
Surprisingly, yes. I thought it was an act before I was on the show, but I've never heard him talk any other way.

Oh man, not one, but two celebrity guests tonight. Uh, how were we so lucky? That means a full hour show...

You'd think a ten percent ratings drop from last year would motivate them to keep it simple, but Idol's sixth season is still picking up new fans and continuing to find new ways to keep us entertained -- even when that means morphing into something other than the beloved original format.

I wonder if turning American Idol into a variety show is a good thing? No longer is it only a singing show but also a telethon for the needy, an outlet for songwriters and a place where celebrities go to sell a few CDs and pretend they sing better than the contestants. All they need now is a stand-up comic and a cooking segment.

You might say I had my reservations when they announced a Jennifer Lopez week. Can you blame me? The artist formerly known as J. Lo doesn't exactly have a classic hits catalogue; but having the show billed as a "Latin Night" put me at ease ... a little.

Only a little because having Latin night in English doesn't make any sense. With only Santana's 'Supernatural' and Gloria Estefan's greatest hits to show off their voices, it's no wonder the judges were harping on the kids about how unexciting they were -- except Sanjaya, oddly enough. I think what he got right and the others didn't understand is that if you're going to make the effort to have a night for Latin music, you gotta go all the way.

I didn't see this one coming. I liked Gina and thought Haley was the more forgettable of the two, but I guess looking ominous and singing "Smile" is a bad combo -- and for Haley, being Idol's resident hot chick has more weight than I thought.

This is a strange year. Well, maybe not so strange now that I think about it. TV watchers are no less fickle than the Roman mob. They'll give you the thumbs down just as quickly as they fell in love with you. Voters this year seem to be less devoted to any one person and more prone to dial for their favorite that night.

All the voters except for what's-his-name's -- those guys are freakin' mobilized. I heard them campaigning to keep him going on the radio this morning. Overall they're the minority of voters, I think, but together they're enough to keep him in for a few more weeks. That's pretty funny. Poor Gina, though -- she's probably pissed.

I love Tony Bennett. I wasn't really familiar with his stuff until I had a chance to see him open up for Paul McCartney in Hollywood a year-and-a-half ago. At least, I didn't think I was familiar with his stuff. But, when I heard him sing "Rags to Riches" and "I Left My Heart In San Francisco" I was thinking, "I know these songs ..."

Since then, I see him and the era he represents everywhere I go and wonder how I could not have known before. I mean, they play his stuff in shopping malls, elevators and automated phone systems a thousand times a day. It's obvious those businesses rely on the innate smile-making ability of that era to keep people happy when they'd otherwise go insane.

I said Chris R. and some of you said Chris S. You were right and I was wrong. I guess "denial" ain't just a river in Egypt. (Sorry, I couldn't help it. I'm a sucker for bad puns) What I mean is that I was hoping Hurley would stick around a little longer, and I've been unwilling to admit his declining performance quality. He still may have done enough to have Hasselhoff shed some tears of joy, though.

The good news is that he's number ten. That means he's been getting at least AFTRA scale for the last two weeks and will get to make some loot on tour. An AI "work for hire" isn't exactly winning the Powerball lottery, but mini-bar debts won't be a problem anymore. I love the mini-bar.

Plus, playing arenas for 10-20,000 screaming fans is any singer's dream. It's the kind of opportunity that makes established indie acts loath and despise American Idols. I can't really blame them either. I'd be mad too if I watched someone do in nine months what I still hadn't achieved after years of work.

That lack of infrastructure eventually catches up to the Idols, though. Overnight celebrities are forgotten just as fast as they're made. Just wait, in a couple weeks time when we're still caught up on "When will what's-his-name finally be voted off the show" and "I wonder who will win the diva three-way throw-down," the guy with the curly hair will slip from our minds.

It's amazing what a great set of songs will do for the show. I use the word "great" loosely since most of the songs sung on Idol were chart-toppers at one point or another. I suppose The Police, The Pretenders and The Cure are more the kind of thing that I'd go pay money to see in concert. So, for me, tonight was a good one. Thanks Gwen for having great taste in music.

Musical taste can't save some, though. Just when I thought what's-his-name was finally going away, once again he's found a way to set office break rooms a buzz with his faux-hawk worthy of the West Village on Halloween night --not that there's anything wrong with it. There's a future in freakiness -- just not in singing. Not for him anyway.

Some guy sang some song. What was his name? Oh yeah, it's Peter Noone. Then, some lady, who looked smoking hot for a 60-year-old, sang some unknown song. What was her name again? Had to rewind that one too to remember it was Lulu. Finally Stephanie gets voted off, and I only remember her name because I realized last night that up until then I still had no idea who she was. And that about sums it up for me tonight.

I have a good memory, I swear!

I'm extremely into '60s music. When they started reading off the British band names last night, I got pretty green with envy. I tried so hard to get Van Morrison and Beatles songs cleared for television, but only got shot down time and again. Apparently not much has changed since then, given the fact I didn't recognize any of those songs with the exception of maybe two or three.

Gina, this one's for you. You were almost in tears up there and you mentioned how nasty blogs get you down, so I thought I'd throw you a nice one. I want you to stick around for a while.

Don't become a parody of yourself. Inevitably every year as contestants hear more and more about what people like and dislike about them, they try harder and harder to live up to whatever that is. Then, usually it gets to the point where it's blatantly obvious to the audience, and they stop caring about what made you cool in the first place. I think last year's winner and his low record sales are evidence of that.

Don't trip out; you don't have to try too hard to be a rocker. You already have that vibe, so just sing whatever you have to from week to week and it'll come out. That's about as much rock as Idol will let you have anyway.