Jay Black
marlton, nj - http://www.jayblackcomedy.com
i'm a stand-up comedian who also writes.
The Office: The Michael Scott Paper Company
(S05E21) Okay, so this is the second slice of Office bread in the Parks and Recreation sandwich, and, in keeping with my long tradition of strained metaphors, it kind of felt like an end piece. Edible, sure, but it would have been nicer if it was as good as the episode that came before it.While I'm enjoying frazzled Jim much more than "what-me-worry?" Jim, they're pushing the cringe humor between Minor and him a bit too far. Somewhere in the last couple of episodes, we went from "fun" to "not fun" (or, as we call it in the entertainment trade, from Last Crusade to Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls).
It was actually more interesting to watch my wife watching the episode: her face was twisting in grief for Jim's inability to figure out what a "rundown" was. It's a testament to good writing that we care so much for the characters that we feel their pain just as strongly as they do, but we need some laughs to lighten the load...
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The Office: Dream Team
(S05E20) I've always said, if you're going to assemble a "Dream Team" for your new company, you need: 1) a super-hot redhead in a business suit, 2) an incompetent man-child, 3) a bowling-shoe-stealing sociopath, and 4) a surgeon-turned-telemarketer named Vikram. I mean, it's just common sense.The Dream Team in question applies to the four new cornerstones of The Michael Scott Paper Company, an enterprise built on such shaky ground that even Michael's grandmother doesn't believe it has a shot to make it.
But, after a generous dose of Pam's tears (is there any better motivation for a stupid man than a crying woman?), it seems like Michael is starting to believe he has a shot. Pam, too. And you know what? Sign me up. I believe in the Michael Scott Paper Company ...
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TV 101: Thirteen undeniable truths about TV
Some things you never wanted to know about me, but that I'm going to tell you anyway: I'm 32 years old, 6'3" tall, and I weigh 235 hairy, pasty pounds. I have a weak chin and very strong glasses. I'm not balding (yet!) but I've got a head reminiscent of The Leader from the Incredible Hulk comics. Seriously, in a pinch, Sully Sullenburger could land a jet on my forehead.Looking at myself in the mirror after a shower the other day, I came to some realizations. I'll probably never play in the NBA. It's doubtful that a woman will ever use me Brad-Pitt-in-Thelma-and-Louise style. Should my comedy career catch fire, it will be more Ray Romano than Dane Cook.
These are the facts and they are undisputed.
In the spirit of my heartbreaking realizations, I figured I'd list some of the sad (but undeniable) truths about television ...
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Was last night's Family Guy the first-ever endorsement of atheism on mainstream TV?
TV Squad man-at-arms Brad Trechak already filed his disappointment at last night's Family Guy episode, but I had a question of my own after I watched the it:Was that the first time a network show actually endorsed atheism?
I mean, I've seen Bill Maher throw his anti-religion grenades, but that's HBO and that's Bill Maher. To my knowledge no network -- even a network like Fox, which once had a line-up made up entirely of World's Scariest Alien Autoposies -- had ever come down this hard on the beliefs of its viewers...
Continue reading Was last night's Family Guy the first-ever endorsement of atheism on mainstream TV?
The Office: Two Weeks
(S05E19) And just like that -- as mysteriously as he arrived -- he was gone.SPOILER ALERT: At the end of The Graduate, Ben Braddock and Elaine Robinson get together after Ben makes an impassioned plea at her wedding to another man. They hop on a bus and as they ride off together, the camera lingers just long enough for us to watch the enormity of their decision wipe the smiles off their faces. A happy ending ruined by reality.
Watching Pam walk out with Michael tonight made me think of that scene. I don't know if this episode compares favorably to one of the greatest comedies ever filmed, but certainly, that idea -- that nothing ruins a good time like a dose of the real -- infused every bit of it tonight.
Continue reading The Office: Two Weeks
The Office: New Boss
(S05E18) Today, reality came crashing down on the good people of Dunder-Mifflin like Godzilla's foot onto Bambi. It came not in the form of a giant, atomically mutated Japanese lizard, however, but rather in the striking good looks of "black George Clooney" Charles Miner, the new Vice President of the Northeast Region.Michael's batting average with VPs has been pretty good -- he got to have sex with one and got to act like Jennifer Jason Leigh from Single White Female with another -- so he figures he'll be in fine shape with Charles Miner.
Unfortunately for Michael, Miner is neither a sex-crazed cougar nor a coke-addled narcissist. He's a no-nonsense businessman who very quickly realizes what every executive at Dunder-Mifflin should have realized a long, long time ago: Michael is an awful manager. Really, just brutally awful.
The sparks between the two were brief, intense, and glorious...
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TV 101: Why we need public figures who lie to us (and how TV screws that up!)
Because I tend to hang out with mostly hobos and philosophy majors, about 90% of my conversations wind up in hypotheticals about the kind of superpower I would most want. While I don't yet have an answer to that worked out, I have figured out the superpower I would least want: mind reading.Think about just how awful it would be to read another person's thoughts:
You would know for certain that your wife fantasizes about other people in bed (probably your friends). You would know for sure that your father doesn't brag to his friends about the $110 a month you make as a semi-professional blogger. You would know just exactly what websites your husband is looking at with the "private browsing" function turned on in Safari (and you would be blinded by them).
It would be horrible. And that's just the kind of world TV is making for us.
Continue reading TV 101: Why we need public figures who lie to us (and how TV screws that up!)
The Office: Blood Drive
(S05E16) At the risk of annoying John Hodgman, allow me to quote from this week's show: "Meh."Tonight's episode felt like the obligatory Valentine's Day sex that millions of married couples went through a few weeks back: a robotic, passionless visit to all our familiar places that still manages to serve as a pleasant reminder of why we fell in love in the first place.
But that's okay. Not every experience can be the kind of handicap-stall-destroying booty-knocking that Phyllis and Bob Vance (of Vance Refrigeration) enjoy.
It's like I tell my wife, if the worst you do is "Meh", then you're probably doing all right. (It's usually at this point that she excuses herself from the room and weeps quietly in the bathroom).
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TV 101: How to fix the Backyardigans (OR: Teach your children well...)
I have a 19 month-old son named Keane Black who has recently graduated from a boob-obsessed pink blob into a happy-go-lucky toddler. (Little does he know that, if he follows his father's path, he's only a few decades away from regressing back into a boob-obsessed pink blob, except this time with back hair). The transition has been great for me because it means that my son and I are now actually able to do things together: we play ball, we color, and we watch TV.
Babies are greedy in the sense that my son seems to have no interest in watching PTI (regardless of how many times I explain to him the myriad delights of LeBatard). Thus, when we watch together, we're stuck watching his shows, specifically his all-time favorite, The Backyardigans.
While I've grown to enjoy the show, it's occurred to me there are several ways that it can be made a more effective educational device..
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The Office: Lecture Circuit (Part 2)
(S05E14) I don't usually cringe at The Office. For whatever reason, it's hard for me to disconnect the part of my brain that understands that the people I'm watching are actors speaking words written by writers. I know that makes me sort've like Rain Main describing a kiss -- wet -- but I can't help myself: I just don't cringe.That being said, during Michael's presentation tonight, I cringed so hard that I am currently a hunchback.
I'm not even sure what I felt could be described as good. It's like eating hot peppers at one of those places that makes you sign a waiver that you won't sue them for burning off your tongue: are you happy or sad at the end of the meal?
All I know is that any show that's able to get my gut to churn that much (even though I know that the person on the screen isn't real) must be doing something right...
Continue reading The Office: Lecture Circuit (Part 2)
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