I've been watching Judge Judy again. I used to watch it years ago, but then I went through a long period (years) when I thought she was too mean, too full of herself, too impatient with the litigants. Sometimes it seems that she's already sick of them before she even sits down. But I started watching it again a few months ago and I love it again. I agree with her attitude now. Most of the people who go in front of her (both plaintiffs and defendants) usually get themselves into situations they shouldn't be in and they have no sense. And you wonder why they even want to be on TV in the first place, airing their dirty laundry.
But if you do find yourself on the show, here are five tips to make it a better experience.
1. Speak up. If you mumble she'll think you're dumb and/or hiding something. And she's probably right.
2. Don't say "um." As Judge Judy says herself at least once an episode, "um is not an answer!" She hates that. This is probably a good piece of advice for life in general. Force yourself not to say "um." Also try not to say "like" all the time, unless of course you're talking about something you like.
3. Don't laugh and shake your head. Judge Judy usually asks the plaintiff their side of the story first, and eight times out of ten the defendant will squirm, interrupt, laugh, and shake their head about what the plaintiff is saying. She hates this too. You'll get your chance, just stand there and don't say anything. You want her to like you, or at the very least not hate you before you even say anything.
4. Don't raise your hand. Oh God she hates this. Oh God oh God how she hates this. One of the litigants will be giving his or her side of the story and the other person will raise his or her hand to dispute/clarify something that was said, and Judge Judy will look over at the person - sometimes just with a quick glance - and say "put your hand down!" It's even worse when you're a witness and you're just sitting off to the side and you raise your hand. You're not even at the podium yet, don't raise your hand! Don't people even watch this show before they go on?
5. Don't go on Judge Judy in the first place. Seriously. There's a very, very good chance you'll look like a dolt and it's better to do that in front of 30 people in some local court than millions across the nation. Or better yet try to settle it out of court.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
11-30-2009 @ 5:21PM
shelley said...
How about this one...always have paper-work available.
If she asks you for bank statements or receipts and you can't produce them, you're toast.
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11-30-2009 @ 5:42PM
pBOB said...
Do you ever notice the person most guilty is drinking the most water? And don't forget to leave your shorts and tube tops at home!
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11-30-2009 @ 5:41PM
Parl said...
"Don't go on Judge Judy in the first place." Good call. To each his own I guess, but these fake court shows are just ridiculous.
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11-30-2009 @ 6:09PM
Joyce N. said...
I'll stick with People's Court, thank you. She's MUCH nicer.
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11-30-2009 @ 6:13PM
fibrowitch said...
Got a laugh at how you suddenly find yourself agreeing with Judge Judy now. It's kind of like how when I was 19 my parents were dolts. Some how by the time I turned 30 I discovered they were quite smart. I don't agree with them much, but at least I no longer think they are stupid.
Much like you and I no longer see Judge Judy as a harridan. She did not change, we did.
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11-30-2009 @ 8:11PM
Jojee said...
I agree! I watch it every night now and just shake my head. Its my one guilty tv pleasure!
I think young adults can learn A LOT from this show!
#1: Be responsible. If you (or your kid) did something wrong, own up to it.
#2: Don't ever, ever loan a friend money that you don't want back, unless its in writing with a collection date.
#3: Just because you were given permission, you are still responsible for the damage.
#4: Pick your roommates wisely.
#5: He who hits first, pays.
I think that sums up 95% of her cases.
11-30-2009 @ 6:24PM
wulfn1 said...
Part of the reason she appeared to be disgusted with the plaintiffs and defendants in the past, and probably now, is because she reads the docket prior to stepping up to her chair. So she kind of knows in advance a.) it's a stupid lawsuit b.) the plaintiff's request or defendant's response was lame on paper it is probably lamer in person c.) she probably wonders why either's parents didn't teach their children better to begin with.
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11-30-2009 @ 6:26PM
MrC said...
Back in the early 90's my ex-girlfriend from high school was on that show, but I don't think it ever aired because her ex(boyfriend or husband, I'm not sure, the father of her baby) went and killed his armored car partner and got locked up for life.
I sometimes wonder whatever happened to her and her kid.
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11-30-2009 @ 8:32PM
lisalou said...
How about "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining"? lol She's the best at sniffing out BS!
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12-01-2009 @ 10:51AM
dkny said...
damn you beat me too it - my favorite quote
I freakin' love Judge Judy - he should be in charge of something important
11-30-2009 @ 11:46PM
Sir Yuck-Yuck said...
ha, ha
from my past twitters
http://twitter.com/SirYuckYuck/status/6019535446
http://twitter.com/SirYuckYuck/status/5630596991
I wish I could put the skunk from my twitter on here as my avatar pic but it never works Grrrr
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12-01-2009 @ 10:06AM
Carole said...
My favorites are that if it doesn't make sense it isn't true, and if you tell the truth you don't have to have a good memory. The woman knows what she is talking about!
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12-01-2009 @ 8:36PM
nytheatreguy said...
I stopped watching the egomaniac Judge Judy years ago and have always wondered how many segments didn't make it to air because one of the parties involved weren't afraid of her and stood up to her Grand Canyon-sized ego, regardless of the consequences. (I'm sure anyone who did was left on the cutting-room floor.) And the fact that people love her and applaud her for treating others so badly and so rudely just astounds me, but that was to be expected, I guess.
I will never forget the episode in which this teenage kid had keyed a neighbor's car (the neighbor was suing for damages) and Judge Judy ripped into the boy's father and accused him of being a negligent parent. The man, who remained very calm and respectful in the face of her attacks on his character, tried to explain to her that he does the best he can but that he was a single parent who had to work during the day and the kid was old enough to be on his own each day after school (he'd never been in trouble before). But was that good enough for Judy? Oh, no! She continued to berate the man and accuse him of being an irresponsible father who didn't take the time to watch his kid and even lectured to him about how she "always knew" where her kids were "every minute of the day" when they were growing up (yeah, right). I was soooo hoping that he would've said "Oh, please. I don't care how good a parent you are or try to be, no one can watch their kids -- especially teenagers -- 24 hours a day and neither did you, Judy," told her to go f*** herself and then walked out of the courtroom. (But of course that segment never would've made it to TV.) The bottom line is that she totally degraded this man and passed judgment on his parenting skills based on one dumb act by his kid. It was nothing short of despicable and, judge or no judge, she was completely out of line.
So no, I'm not a fan of Judge Judy. There are far too many other judges on TV who know how to handle the public -- and create good television in the process -- without treating the people in their courtrooms like garbage.
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