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(S07E09) How far are the writers going to take the Charlie and Chelsea relationship? Do you think they're actually going to get married? I ask because tonight's show was a glimpse of what married Charlie might be like. Funny, yes, but is a domesticated Charlie really what I want to watch? Gin rummy and snoring? Charlie being sensitive and in touch with a woman's feelings? Where has my Charlie gone?

Alan, fortunately, is in exactly the same spot where he's always been. The crapper. Remember that Emmy that Jon Cryer won for Two and a Half Men in September? He may have earned a bookend with this season's work. More on his hair care products and dating services after the jump.

I'm not really all that interested in Charlie's sexual prowess, but it's nice that the writers have at least made him human. He doesn't hit a home run every time at bat. He occasionally swings and misses ... and it's good to know that Chelsea still considers herself a very lucky, lucky woman even if she doesn't get her bell rung every single time they do the deed. It was great reversal of the joke to show her snoring when she finally reached the promised land and he was waxing philosophical about things.

But like I said, all this domesticity is not my favorite Charlie Harper experience. Or maybe it's just that Chelsea is a pleasant character, but she has nothing that special to offer. She's basically a straight woman, setting up jokes for Charlie. I keep expecting Charlie to break out in some outrageous way. Lately, I've been happier with the woe-be-gone antics of Alan.

If Charlie's a true all-star with women, Alan is doing his best just to get to the batter's box. Tonight, he was in rare form. The spray-on hair was right out of The Fabulous Baker Boys, but seeing Alan return from his date with the goop dripping down his face was killer. He did sort of look like a hot fudge sundae.

Even better than Alan's SuaveSingles.com dating experience was his donning a yarmulke to meet a girl from J-Date.com. Sitting on the bed and listening to Charlie, Alan was like an Upper West Side rabbi from a Woody Allen movie. Oy vey, indeed.

I'm surprised he didn't reference whether or not he had the schmeckle to pass as a Jew, should he have gotten that lucky on the first date. Oh, what am I saying -- I'm sure Evelyn had both her boys circumcised.

In the end, it was all good -- make that "ga" -- for Charlie, and Alan's miracle hair growth medication was making a monkey out of him. What a schlemiel!

Other funny stuff

-- Berta's into the water delivery man and Elizabeth Taylor's White Diamonds.

-- Note to Alan: Jews do eat at Red Lobster, as long as they're not Kosher.

Funny lines

Charlie: "You takin' a lunch break?"
Berta: "Yeah, let's call it that."

Jake's shorts for a date were 'cleanish':
Charlie: "Anything but white is unacceptable."
Jake: "Then I'd better change."

"This is the beginning of the end. First our sex life goes to hell. Then we start eating dinner at 4:30, watching reruns of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, then at nine o'clock, we pee, shake hands and go to sleep." -- Charlie's take on the future

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