TVSquad

Dear Oprah:

I saw that cover of the December issue of O magazine that was revealed today. Congrats to Ellen DeGeneres. She's been campaigning to get on the cover since last March, and it's good to see her goal become a reality. It proves that even regular folks with a daily daytime talk show and a million Twitter followers can realize their dreams too!

I'm not sure if this is the right venue for this, but I'll just come out and ask: can I be on your cover too? I don't have to be paid for it and you can dress me up any way that you like. I just want the honor of being on the cover with you.

One quick question though: why are you on the cover of every issue? I know your name is in the title of the magazine, but you don't see Joe Time on the cover of Time or Dave Playboy on the cover of Playboy, so I'm wondering why you feel like you have to be on every cover? Do you think people wouldn't buy the magazine if you had just Ellen on the cover in a Christmas-y pose?

I know I'm probably not famous enough to get on the cover with you, hanging out like we're friends, so how about this: I'm on the cover in the background, with my back turned? Or how about we do a special New Year's cover and I can be dressed up as a waiter and I'm in the corner of the magazine handing you a glass of champagne? I'm very flexible and open to any suggestions you might have. I just want to be able to buy the magazine (note: I will buy several copies!) and point to that blur in the background or that random arm in the corner of the magazine and say to my family, "hey, that's me!"

I'm not trying to be one of your "Favorite Things," just one that's tolerable.

Thank you,

Bob