TVSquad

(S09E05) Monday was the first night that all fourteen contestants danced against each other on Dancing with the Stars. With the help of Baz Lurhmann, the scores were too close for week two.

We get the first opening sequence and I vomited seeing it. With too many contestants, the names and faces swooped by too fast in swirled high-def colors. Having Macy Gray and Ashley Hamilton back to back is ironic and laughable.

Samantha is apparently growing a nest for birds. I kept trying to look for myself in her mirror neck-piece. It's a shame because the dress is pretty, but the hair and accessories failed her.

After a recap we were given the encore performance from Mya & Dmitry. Everything was the same, but with less stress. Our top three scorers find out their destiny first. Donny & Kym, Mya & Dmitry, and Aaron & Karina are all safe.

Musical Performance - Joss Stone: "Free Me" - I was a little shocked not seeing any of our professionals dancing to Joss Stone, and I couldn't stop staring at the guy's rat tail. Their lifts came off with such ease, but the fashion faux-pas isn't forgivable.

Training Grounds - The cast was provided with a 12,000 square foot, six-studio building. The biggest flaw is that there are fourteen dancers and only six studios. The most important one is the one with the exact layout of the stage. The dancers go around visiting each other and spying on the competition. We find out that Kelly Osbourne is a gossip, Maks is intimidating, and Derek is annoying.

After the clip, we find out the destiny of the 21-point scorers. Mark & Lacey and Natalie & Alec will return to the training facilities, but Debi & Maks are in jeopardy.

Musical Performance - Selena Gomez: "Falling Down" - This is my first time ever seeing Selena perform, but does she always sound too sharp? Luckily Derek and Karina are around to soften the blow. Or at least hope that Karina's earring trips her to see if the performance was live or pre-recorded. Amusingly, right at the end, her other earring flies right off.

We get the 20-point performers and we find out that Joanna & Derek and Michael & Anna are both safe. The 19-point scorers were next and Chuck & Anna, Melissa & Mark, and Kelly & Louis are safe, but Louie & Chelsie are in jeopardy.

Bad Habits - The professionals complain about their partners. Models pose too much, but they need to put movement between poses. Actors can't focus and we get a montage of Debi chatting Maks' head off. Mark talks to himself, annoying Lacey. The singers are edited to seem like they're struggling, but after seeing Mya and Aaron this week, they have no worries. Athletes have bad habits associating with their sports: Natalie can't breathe and Louie hunches forward.

Macy's Stars of Dance - USC Trojan Marching Band & Dancers - Macy's is going all out with their performances this season, aren't they? It was nice seeing some of the outside of the studio, and they dressed up the boring hallway with lights. The breakers were good, but they all reminded me of prison escapees with their orange outfits. The step team was good as well, but their sweaters were muffling them.

Musical Performance - Joss Stone: "Son of a Preacher Man" - Apparently our professionals were practicing for this, instead of Joss Stone's first performance. I love when Louis Van Amstel choreographs performances. Then they had a kinky foursome.

The last two dancers remaining are Tom & Cheryl, who are safe, which means that Kathy & Tony are in jeopardy. Our bottom three are Louie & Chelsie, Debi & Maks, and Kathy & Tony. With Louie & Chelsie safe, the judges turn to Carrie Ann and she thinks that it was too early to lose someone, but is shocked that Debi is in danger. The couple with the lowest score is Kathy & Tony. At least I learned the term "Katony."

Next week, the return of Len Goodman, the rumba, and my favorite dance, the samba. Catch the results and Monday's performances on SlashControl. Should Debi have gone home? Leave comments below.