(S09E01) Welcome back to another year of "the show that wouldn't die". This year, we've been given a target in the first episode that in one year, Clark will somehow destroy the world. However, this was told to him by a Kryptonian ninja woman who is apparently from the past and working for this year's big bad, so her word may not exactly be trustworthy.The writers have turned Chloe into the new Lana. My sympathies to Allison Mack for being given that tragic role. The special effects of the derailed train in the beginning were pretty cool. I hope they didn't blow the entire season's budget on it.
It's a pretty big coincidence that Lois was at the exact same window at which Clark happened to catch the train. Or perhaps it's his "destiny," as Jor-El keeps saying. Clark's father should just beat him with a stick or something rather than using this psychological torture. These mind games he plays are mind-numbing.
Clark has started wearing his "Neo" outfit. Not quite the tights and cape, so it's keeping with the "no tights no flights" rule. Why couldn't we see Clark create a giant hole at the base of the Statue of Liberty?
Here's another one: nobody in the hospital told Lois that she was unconscious for three weeks? Probably not. Chloe certainly took her sweet time trying to tell her.
Lois came back with a bunch of superpowers. First off, she healed pretty fast. Then she quickly investigated the train crash AND "negotiated" her way into an all-male fight club to find Oliver Queen. All this within 24 hours, apparently.
Actually, Lois came back with the superpower of precognitive dreams. This is somewhat reminiscent of the character of Dream Girl from the Legion of Super Heroes. I suspect that is not a coincidence. It's probably an attempt by the Legion to prevent the destruction of the world. The Legion ring is pretty cool. You can buy your knock-off copy on eBay.
When watching Major Zod's intro to the series (note the time travel motif), I was secretly hoping the man and woman accompanying him would be Non and Ursa. Probably not. Hopefully the ninja woman is Ursa.
Isn't it great how TV scientists know everything? What kind of doctor is Emil Hamilton anyway? If we find out later he's an etymologist, I'm going to be pissed off.
Once again, Clark uses the Kent barn as his personal wreck room. I hope that trap that caught the ninja woman was intentional. It's about time he put some traps down there.
I'm sure we'll see more growth of the Tess/Zod relationship. Sexual tension, perhaps?
Why do they have to do the "ticking clock" problem every season? Last season it was Doomsday (an anti-climatic ending if there ever was one). Now it's Clark destroying the Earth. Maybe he should succeed just so the series would end.
Okay, it wasn't that bad of an episode. On the Smallville scale, I'd rate it fair to middling. At least they introduce Metallo next week, and Brian Austin Greene is a pretty kick-ass choice for the character (having known a thing or two about cyborgs from his last role).
[Watch clips and episodes of Smallville at SlashControl.]
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
9-26-2009 @ 2:32AM
Joseph said...
Ninja girl = looks like a cross between Lois and Tess Mercer = looks like the hottest woman I've ever seen.
Made it worth watching for me. Why else, really?
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9-26-2009 @ 2:35AM
Joseph said...
Actually now that I think about it, she looks like Kate Beckinsale's character from Underworld...
9-26-2009 @ 2:48AM
Adam said...
Wow, the reviewer really didn't get the episode at all. The assasin was from the future, not the past, and she accused Clark of destroying "our" world which is the future earth under the rule of Zod. How do we know this? Well for one Lois was remembering what happened to her during her 3 weeks in the future, not using any psychic ability, and the assasin was shown in her present form as a diciple/soldier of Zod. This is a really pathetic review.
And since TV Squad isn't bothering to cover Psych I'd like to point out that tonights ep was the best ever.
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9-26-2009 @ 3:31AM
LordPaul said...
I realised it was going to be a sh*t review in the first paragraph. Why bother reviewing a show if you're not into it?
For shame
9-26-2009 @ 1:40PM
Jake said...
Ditto that on Psych! Hi-freakin-larious! Shame TVS reviewers 37 reality shows, but not the best scripted cable programs (True Blood does not count).
9-26-2009 @ 4:20PM
Bubbameister33 said...
They used review a lot of great shows but for some reason stopped with no explanation, sucks really.
9-26-2009 @ 7:10AM
iuqiddis said...
Brilliant review. I was laughing throughout the entire length of the article. A show like Smallville should be reviewed just like this; at this point its too hard to take it seriously. Keep it up.
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9-26-2009 @ 8:36AM
8th-man said...
Is it me? Am I the only one who heard them mention the bottled city of "Kandor" and think that that is the world they are referring to? The reviewer does seem to have a negative bias against Smallville, as in "I stopped liking this show after season 3 and wish they would stop making me review it." I could be wrong but he appears the type that keeps droning on about Lucas ruining Star Wars and why did they cancel Arrested Devleopment.
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9-26-2009 @ 10:26AM
litehousebeacon said...
@Brad Trechak
You're going to be pissed if Dr. Hamilton turns out to be a wordsmith? Well, he's supposed to be a scientist, and in the comics he was Superman's doctor, so I'll be pissed to. But why did you pick etymologist? That's got to be the most irrelevant, out of thin air, thing you could have chosen.
Or did you mean entomologist? I.e. the people who study bugs...
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9-26-2009 @ 12:00PM
Jimmy_MO said...
I thought this was a good episode, certainly not great by any means. I think you're right about Chloe. They really should have killed the character when they had the chance. The whole David Bloom/Doomsday plot ruined what was once a great, original character.
What struck as I watched this episode is how much they are desperately trying to turn Clark into the Dark Knight of Metropolis. Complete with Danny Elfman-esque brooding music and a scene of Clark looking down over Metropolis, dark trench coat whipping in the breeze.
Oh, and I hate the ratty black T-shirt. Kind of a boring cop-out because Welling is too chicken to do the tights.
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9-26-2009 @ 1:29PM
Renata said...
Hot ninja girl = Alia. Sorry.
I liked this episode, it was very well done. But I still feel like there is something missing. =/
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9-26-2009 @ 1:37PM
Jake said...
Brad, you have a serious attention deficit with this show.
Ninja chick is from the future (Clark: "the date on this is set one year in the future.") Of course, she is ALSO from the past, since she's with a Zod who is still a major (not yet a general). But that's because they are from Kandor, and were preserved there before Krypton went blamo.
Which brings me to how she said Clark would destroy "our world" -- and then in the next breath said "we're from the same world" in reference to the blue kryptonite. Gee, did she mean Kansas? Why would that mean Clark will destroy the Earth?
As for Lois -- good lord man, she went to the future! Seeing "the future" in her dreams is not pre-cognitive -- she's REMEMBERING because SHE WAS ALREADY THERE. Have you, you know, watched sci-fi or fantasy before? Back to the Future?
And the Legion had nothing to do with it. She found Clark's legion ring last season, grabbed it, and disappeared. Apparently she doesn't have the mojo to go 1,000 years into the future - she just jumped 365 days or so, but either way, no Legioners were involved.
Lastly, Ninja chick can't be Ursa. She be dead. The one that is still alive will eventually go BACK in time to try to kill Clark, and then also be dead. Vicious cycle. Darn.
Seriously, don't bother reviewing the show if you can't bother to pay attention. It's one thing to bitch about the things you don't like about a show -- I certainly don't think a reviewer has to be a fanboy -- but it's another to completely misunderstand it and then bitch about things that aren't there.
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9-26-2009 @ 2:35PM
Edward said...
if you paid attention to the end of the episode, Clark also thinks he will destroy earth within the next year...
9-26-2009 @ 2:53PM
Jake said...
Thanks for that, Capt. Obvious.
Of course, Clark doesn't have all of the information that we the careful viewers have. Why would he think "you will destroy our world" means anything other than Earth? He doesn't know that a whole bunch of Kryptonian "invaders" has arrived. We on the other hand...
9-26-2009 @ 7:51PM
John said...
Last season started out Ok, then they brought back Lana. Talk about killing momentum, the show came to a grinding hald with her return. Then back comes Torrie Spelling, why. She is such a dog. As for Doomsday, another bust. Anticlimatic is an understatement. And after this seasons opener, I think I'm done with smallville.
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9-27-2009 @ 12:19AM
Joshed said...
"Here's another one: nobody in the hospital told Lois that she was unconscious for three weeks? Probably not. Chloe certainly took her sweet time trying to tell her."
You got this wrong. She was GONE for three weeks, not unconscious.
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9-27-2009 @ 12:22AM
Joshed said...
"Maybe he should succeed just so the series would end."
STFU
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9-27-2009 @ 2:23AM
Debbie Bell said...
This was a normal Smallville start, I wish they would not of made Chloe into a Lana, they should of killed her off like they did Jimmy and have the pipe go thru both of them. I realize watchtower is a part of the Justice League. but no Chloe in that either. And what about the tension be Tess and Zod. definately some chemistry there. I think Tess has the hots for men who are in power. She did what Lex wanted her to do and Zod will have the same effect on her. Alia the ninja assasin was alive without the powers at the end of the episode, looks like Zod and his army will gain the powers that are missing. Lois will pine for the Blur and Clark, but in the end she will straighten out Ollie and help him bring back the Justice league, Clark will need them later. Her premonitions or flashbacks as I prefer, will give Clark the clues as to what he needs to do to prevent the destruction of Earth or Kandor.
Not a great start, but it is a start, at least Clark is taking his Kryptonian side to heart. Hopefully, he will fly, I know that no tights rule. Drats, would like to see Welling in the outfit at some point. Can Perry White be back soon? Only the future will tell
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10-04-2009 @ 10:10AM
hugeliver said...
should HAVE, not should OF
9-28-2009 @ 11:22AM
Bob said...
Please take this idiot off of the reviews. Again, has no knowledge of Superman or this show. Doesn't pay attention.
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