TVSquad

I love it when a cast comes together, except this one.

Joe Carnahan's cast for the big screen A-Team remake has three out of the four main team members cast and is awaiting confirmation on the fourth.

So far, Liam Neeson has been confirmed to play Hannibal, Bradley Cooper has been fingered for Faceman, and mixed martial arts and UFC fighter Quentin "Rampage" Jackson will play B.A. The director has approached but not yet confirmed Sharito Coplay to play Murdock, debunking rumors that Jim Carrey, Robert Downey, Jr. or Woody Harrelson would be the team's fourth man.

That's about as good a cast as you're going to get for a film of this caliber. I don't mean to be hardhearted about a movie I haven't seen, but TV remakes almost never work out above decent, and this one has all the right people to make a movie that just barely makes your eyes bleed.

Carnahan, who is one of my personal favorite directors (I think I'm the only man on Earth who liked Smokin' Aces), could add the right amount of blood, guts, bullets and octane to an A-Team script, and all of the principal cast members could play these parts standing on their heads.

So why do I still have this aching feeling in my gut that it's going to suck? Well I had the same feeling when I heard about The Beverly Hillbillies movie, The Dukes of Hazzard movie, the McHale's Navy movie, the Bewitched movie, the Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle movie. The Honeymooners movie, the My Favorite Martian movie and the absolutely, stomach wrenching, spine fluid churning, dry heave inducing, sphincter tightening Car 54, Where Are You? movie. Seriously, just stop. Just having to sit through the trailers for all these movies probably gave me swine flu.

What's next? The Dick Van Dyke Show movie starring Ron Perlman? Crap, I think I just gave someone very important a bad idea.

By the way, AOL's brand-new site SlashControl has full episodes of The A-Team, in case you want to go down memory lane.