TVSquad

Normally, TV press kits come with more useless junk than an IKEA furniture kit. They usually come with T-shirts that are too small for the average TV critic's billowy build, toys that can turn the brightest human beings into easily-amused cats, and other assorted paraphernalia.

FX's press kit for the forthcoming second season of Sons of Anarchy has none of these things. There are no bloody brass knuckle sets, fake handlebar mustaches or even a lousy T-shirt that reads "The bitch fell off" on the back, perfect for that upcoming christening or bar-mitzvah.

That doesn't mean it's bad. In fact, it's one of the most bitching press kits to ever grace my cold, ink-stained hands.

First of all, it arrived on my doorstep in brown wrapping paper, kept together by a single piece of twine. Face up, it appears to be that stack of vintage pornography you ordered from the 80s, but when you turn it over, it reveals a huge insignia of SAMCRO's Grim Reaper logo that makes a tough looking wallpaper for my iPhone. People who own iPhones need all the toughening up they can get.


The press team at FX could have just stuck the whole thing in a Fedex envelope, but they really gave it some ambience and character by wrapping it up in such ominous packaging. The twine even felt dusty. It really made it feel as though Clay had sent me some "Top Secret" paperwork on the club's finances, or Jax sent me a copy of his father's manuscript, like when I got that letter from Voltron when I was a kid, except disappointment and despair was waiting for me when I opened the package. I still haven't forgiven Voltron for that. A little piece of me died that day.

Underneath the rough brown paper was a colorful DVD case of the show's first five episodes. But the case itself was actually a big coffee table book packed with more bitching pictures of hand cannon-totin' badasses on hogs than an issue of Guns & Ammo. Each page of the magazine style book features huge, larger than life spreads of the characters and includes some short explanations of the character's role in the scope of the series and bios of all the major and a few minor actors in the production. The writing is brief and to the point, but also very detailed. For instance, did you know actress Katey Sagal has a dog named Lumpy, the greatest name ever for a dog in the history of the world and quite possibly the universe?


It even has some sprinkles of humor, which can come in handy when you're researching a long list of stats and bios for what feels like the unteempth time in a day. Executive producer and show creator Kurt Sutter, for example, spent his post-grad career in the Big Apple "performing in off-off Broadway theatres, lofts and NYPD holding cells." He's also the proud owner of an "African Spurred Tortoise, who not unlike Sutter, has been known to bite the head off of creatures that get too close." That should make our next face-to-face interview interesting. Note to self: coat head with a chocolate glaze before Sutter meeting.