TVSquad

I had the great honor of interviewing the legendary Joan Rivers after her TCA panel promoting her new TV Land show How'd You Get So Rich? While the panel was hilarious, Joan was in fine form during the interview, telling me a good story about why she doesn't dwell in the past, criticizing Sarah Palin and Brooke Shields, and giving her one-millionth rebuke of her Apprentice rival, Annie Duke, or "Annie Douche" as she called the poker star during the panel.

But Rivers also took some vicious shots at David Tutera, the party planner who left her and Duke high and dry on The Celebrity Apprentice's finale, quitting after Joan asked him to make some changes to his plan. Since Tutera is scheduled to do a panel on his show My Fair Wedding on Friday, I wanted to post what she said about him here and then give Tutera a chance to respond.

"He's getting famous on my back," she said. "How dare a woman say, who's paying $7,000, that maybe we shouldn't do this in white? I looked at the tapes. I was not rude to him.

"Let me tell you something. I worked my way through college doing windows at Lord & Taylor. I design jewelery. And I give great parties. I think I have a right if I'm giving a party to say to him, 'I don't think that's good enough. Let's bring some of my other friends in. We're here to win. It's not about ego.'

"And I don't understand (his) little sissy fit. If you're so angry at me, why did you let the other team down? I find that (to be) outrageous. Outrageous!

"He was very grand. You know why I'm still around? I'm not grand. This man was so fucking piss elegant. I am queen of the gays, but this was one mean little snotty fairy. And I can say that. And if he comes to my charity, God's Love We Deliver, he's gonna be the first person not to get a meal."

Oof. Even Lewis Black can't harness his anger to such hilarious effect. She even had me breaking up during this rant. During the panel for her show, which profiles people who came from nothing to make millions based on head-smackingly simple inventions or businesses (the Slanket guy, for instance), she had this to say:

• That the show was originally called How'd You Get Fatter Than a Fifth of an Acre with Kirstie Alley.
• That her career is great because "Im doing what I love. and I'm still in this bus at... 197? And I'm still relevant? Like it's tough to go out on the street, makeup and hair done, and ask people questions. And i get a check at the end? That's not bad. It's better than Auschwitz.
• That Jay Leno being on at 10 is brilliant because "people can get bored and go to sleep earlier. It'll be good for the Midwest because the crops will be greener."

All good stuff. I'll post my full interview with Joan, including the audio version, later in the week.

By the way, Joan was followed by a panel for Glenn Martin DDS with Kevin Nealon, which I missed to do the interview. That was followed by Jeff Dunham who stood up with one of his more famous characters, Walter, to promote his new Comedy Central show.

I thought he was funny, but I heard a few critics grumble that he was "lame" and spent too much time doing his routine when he should have been answering questions. I scratched my head at that. I mean, it's Jeff Dunham, for heaven's sake; how many in-depth questions were they going to ask him?