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Royal Pains throws everything at the wall, nothing sticks

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Royal PainsApparently, there are a lot of medical emergencies in the Hamptons - deflated boobs, dying socialites, hemophiliac kids. And apparently, there is also a shortage of doctors in the area that is so bad everyone is clamoring to be attended to by a visiting doctor from out of town who has just been conveniently ostracized for having let a hospital trustee die in his care.

That's the basics of Royal Pains, USA's latest edition to its "characters welcome" line-up. Unfortunately for Doctor Hank Lawson, the physician in the center of this maelstrom of health issues, none of his patients are particularly interesting, which means I didn't care if they lived or died or if any of their wounds were healed properly. Nor did I care if the overly ambitious would-be doctor's assistant Divya got her wish that Lawson hang his shingle in the Hamptons. Or if his brother found a way to get laid.

The point of the show, as discerned from the title, is sort of a reverse House - to see a good-natured but perhaps slightly curmudgeonly doctor treat rude, privileged patients used to getting everything they want. And it's clear that the creative team behind this show is willing to toss anything into this show - a bit of blood, a hint of skin, a love interest, a hip soundtrack, a supposedly humorous sidekick, and even a foreshadowed free clinic that might come to town - to grab your interest. But none of it really did, for me.

To be fair, I didn't think I'd like the show when I saw the previews, so it started off with a bit of a handicap. And I'm not sure what made me watch it, other than the hope that I might be pleasantly surprised. But I don't think I'll get the urge again.

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