Jon and Kate Gosselin have finally filed for divorce papers, but shouldn't the two of them go through a few steps before getting there? I'm no doctor, but even I could see that getting upset at one moment and then having silence for several months is not a good basis for divorce.Yes, there are a lot of outlying factors that TLC has not decided to show America. The portrayal of the couple in the whole fifth season shows that the two didn't communicate anymore, unless it's for the children. Shouldn't one fix the communication barrier before cutting the cord completely?
Clearly the two should have gone through several steps before filing for divorce. First off, the two should have taken time off of the show to focus on them. I think the cameras have accelerated what cracks they had in their relationship, but it also gave them an excuse to not talk to each other. Jon conveniently helping kids on Kate's birthday? Yeah, we know that Jon rigged that for his benefit. So instead of talking, the two got to use the show as an excuse.
I think a marriage counselor, mediator, or a psychiatrist should have been the next step. If Jon had all this pent up aggravation about Kate, he should have had a healthy outlet for communicating his emotions instead of leaving the house and having a drinking party. Kate could also argue her case to the marriage councilor. I don't care if Kate was overbearing or aggressive to Jon, it's all about the two finding the happy middle. I think the two could do better with someone to talk to; hell, even a Dr. Phil intervention could have helped.
How about some separation time before full divorce? I understand that it was basically that already, but time can change one's perspective. I'm not saying that it's going to heal the problem, but with a little time maybe Jon can make a coherent sentence that doesn't involve the words "for the kids."
As much as the couple says that they are filing for divorce "for the kids," Jon and Kate Gosselin should have made a few steps before getting to divorce. Was the divorce the right decision? Voice your comments below.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
6-23-2009 @ 3:01PM
ML said...
Finally, the voice of reason. You expressed what I have been thinking all along. No one has mentioned marriage counseling or even hinted about it and I would have thought that would be one of the first steps before divorcing. As you so appropriately mentioned, if this is for the health of the children, why not go through all the necessary steps to see if this marriage could be saved instead of going from 0 to 100 straight to divorce court. The kids will never know what it's like to be raised in a home with two present loving parents, as a family. As time goes on the memories that they have as a family will fade, they are so young and that, above all else, is the saddest thing.
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6-23-2009 @ 8:52PM
Barbara said...
This is a true shame. There could have been such a different ending.
The way I see it, is SOMEONE had to stand up and be in charge--did Kate go over the top? Sure. We all have rotten moments. I do feel TLC liked showing her as the boss. Creative Editing in my opinion.
Personally, I feel that 'show' of the 'wedding' in Hawaii was such a farce and a LIE. Want to go to the Islands? Go... but do NOT put on that creative party with your kids involved--and NOT in front of a TV audience.
I feel for the kids. The elder two have shown signs of difficulties for several years, and that is sad.
Kate does draw a crowd... I was on a flight from San Deigo that she was on... (no I did not bother her). Tons were busy bugging at them. But, don't get upset if the photog's are doing THEIR JOBS, when you are grasping the big paydays...
They could have beenso much more than a statistic.
7-14-2009 @ 6:23PM
Noebody55 said...
P L E A S E ! Kate is doing what Jon does not have the backbone to do. She is supporting and caring for her family. S O R R Y Jon that you are not a man. What do these women see in you. You are childish individual and these women will find as Kate did that you cannot be relied on or trusted. Stop spending all this money on your running around and put it in the bank for the children. Hope Paul Peterson convinces PA to take charge and set up a Trust for the children. Producers of the show, dump him and Kate don't let him back in your house. Get a new man. A Real Man! Not a cry baby.
6-23-2009 @ 3:01PM
bkdealer said...
Any couple that has one child, let alone 8, should spend some time with a therapist or counselor before deciding that divorce is the best route. It's a shame that they don't seem to have explored that option.
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6-23-2009 @ 3:18PM
Nornny said...
I don't know, I don't disagree with you with the steps, but is it really that simple? If someone in a relationship wants out (like Jon clearly did), no amount of counseling or communicating is going to stop that.
Maybe divorce wasn't the best or ideal solution, but who are we to judge. Jon and Kate are right to put their kids first and their justification to legally separate made sense to me.
The show doesn't film every day. Jon and Kate have had a lot of privacy and time to work through their issues and it's been made very clear this isn't some overnight thing but has been an issue for many months.
I mean, how long can anyone bear in a broken relationship?
It is a really sad outcome, but I wish the entire family finds happiness as a result.
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6-23-2009 @ 3:04PM
Karen said...
As much as the couple says that they are filing for divorce "for the kids," Jon and Kate Gosselin should have made a few steps before getting to divorce. Was the divorce the right decision?
Yep, it was. It absolutely was.
Opposites usually attract, and then spend the next twenty years trying to kill each other. I think young bossy Kate thought she needed someone to boss around, and young wimpy John thought he needed someone to tell him what to do; and by the time they found out that wasn't the case, they were harnessed to an 8-kid wagon and couldn't change their minds.
In reality, Kate should have found a man that wouldn't tolerate her crap for two seconds; and John should have figured some hard things out all by his eentsy-weensy self before he became the head of a family.
They'll be better parents separately than they possibly could be together; and like we said before, maybe the kids will score some terrific step-parents out of the deal, when the dust settles. That awful fog of seething unspoken tension between warring parents fills a home with psychological poison, and messes kids up worse than the later divorce adjustment ever does - it's just that it does its damage early on, and by the time the kids are showing the toxic effects, the divorce itself gets all the blame. I think a fresh start will do them all good in the end.
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6-23-2009 @ 3:17PM
j 2 the b said...
I disagree.
First, who says that they haven't been in counseling, or therapy? They never said they did, and they never said they didn't. They could have been in sessions over the break in filming.
2nd, the reason they are breaking up is because Jon had a pretty public affair with a college student. It was in Us Weekly, People, etc. He acknowledged it and that is what broke up the marriage.
I do think that they are a dysfunctional family and those kids will feel the brunt of it in the long run, but don't pass judgement on them without knowing all of the facts.
For the past few months Jon has been living in an apartment above the garage, so yes, they have been separated. The divorce filing was inevitable.
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6-23-2009 @ 4:41PM
Marilee said...
When did he acknowledge an affair? I only heard denial.
6-23-2009 @ 4:21PM
MJL said...
Exactly...who are you people to state what steps they have and haven't tried? Believe it or not, the cameras do turn off occasionally - and you have no way of knowing what takes place then. You should be ashamed of yourself.
6-23-2009 @ 4:21PM
jb said...
oh geez.. please someone at TLC put most of America out of their misery and cancel this damn show. all the woman is is a money grubbing face who only cares about her children when the cameras are rolling. i am really sick of people saying that she is the victim in all of this. have any of you watched this show and seen how she treats jon? even in last night's episode where jon wanted to put the crooked houses in the the woods away from where the photogs could not take pictures of them. but that wasnt good enough for her and she completely overruled him and had the houses in a different location. even if they were to try counseling we all know that she would take over and blame it all on him. and since she is now the main source of income due to her bookdeals and everything else (which mind you she charges minimum $20 to sign a piece of paper) im glad he finally grew a set and stood up to this witch and did something about it. i feel bad for jon and the kids but not for her one bit. if you watch the earliest episodes you see how she was all about the children and jon. now its just her her her and thats all
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6-23-2009 @ 6:32PM
Sonia said...
If you don't like the show, her hair, the way she treats Jon or anything about the Gosselins, then don't watch the show, don't read the stories online and do not make comments....
6-23-2009 @ 6:17PM
Karen said...
Jon didn't grow anything but an attitude. He is a selfish, whiny, baby who refused to grow up. He got bossed around because he was basically useless and she had a house of 8 children to raise. I'm sure she would have loved to have an equal partner. She didn't want to be married to a child, but he refused to step up to the plate. And now look...he is excited about his new life and getting a freaking JOB! Well, duh!
6-25-2009 @ 10:07AM
becky Matthews said...
I am a parent-and I have to agree with Kate on this one. There is no way I would have liked to have the crooked houses and the children playing so far away from the home. The houses would have rarely been used back in the woods. That had nothing to do with Kate wanting control over Jon. She could not have some of the kids playing down in the woods and some in the yard-it is impossible to look after all the kids that way.
6-23-2009 @ 4:39PM
Marilee said...
I never comment on these things because we have so little information, and people are so harsh, but I am so sad to see this happening! I agree with this author and wonder why it took so long for these things to be mentioned. What happened to God? Jon and Kate both claim to be Christians, and I didn't hear him mentioned last night.....what God has brought together, let no man put asunder? Where is your faith Jon? Kate? Marriage is hard, but you seem to put more work into your kids than your marriage...and it shows....kids are doing great--marriage not...who will suffer in the long run? The kids!
For the sake of your children, who you so dearly love, get some help, turn you marriage back to God.
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6-23-2009 @ 4:21PM
GigG said...
You guys act as if it a surprise that a couple who willingly turned their life into a sideshow act are splitting up.
Get real. No level of counseling would ever help them as long as the cameras are there and at least one of them wasn't about to give up the celebrity.
Next season "Kate Plus 8 Minus 1".
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6-23-2009 @ 4:36PM
Rich P said...
I don't have an opinion about why they are divorcing. How can I? How many more hours of footage was edited out? Their relationship is for public consumption. They want to have privacy, but they also want a big stupid TV show to make their living.
What I'm mad about is how they're using their breakup as a device to promote companies (like many other episodes too). They're like FOX with American Idol now. They make you turn on TLC to watch them talk about their separation, but the first 30 minutes was an infomercial for that clubhouse company. For 30 minutes their children ran around their backyard with the company logo on their shirts!!! And then exactly halfway thru they talked about their relationship.
MSNBC just said the show will be on hiatus until August. Next week is their 10 year look back or some crap... as if they appointed themselves as the most important couple in the world. They're both naive and immature. I bet their two older daughters could raise the sextuplets better.
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6-23-2009 @ 5:52PM
Casandra said...
It is Kate's fault she is in this situation, this woman does not respect the man she married, slapping him, and taking over the conversations when he wanted to say something. She seems to me that she wants the spot light on her and no one else. She is fussy, even with the people that she interviewed to help her. Kate wants everything her way, lets face it she is the type that say's it is my way or the Freeway, Jon deserves better he strikes me as a good father and a good intelegent man. This woman will never change it is better that they devorce. One more thing if a man or a woman do not get attention at home and are seperated well I do not see any wrong in having a friend for dinner.
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6-23-2009 @ 5:17PM
Karen said...
On a cynical note, if they continue to foul up their parenting and some forward-thinking exec at their network secures the long-term rights to their story (and arranges a tie-in with Dateline), that dude's gonna retire very, very rich.
Just picture the future spin-offs! "Celebrity Rehab" with Maddy Gosselin! "My Life In The Convent" with Tara Gosselin! This week on Dateline: "Who Really Killed the Mother-in-Law From Hell?" where we ask the tough questions in our exclusive interviews with Mrs. Aaden Gosselin, Mrs. Collin Gosselin, and Mrs. Joel Gosselin. Followed by our exclusive report "Where Are They Hiding?", in which we investigate the latest theories on the whereabouts of the infamous "Little Gosselin Girls", who vanished into the Witness Protection Program all those years ago.....
Dear Mr. TV Executive;
If you hadn't thought of all this already, you're welcome for the yacht.
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6-23-2009 @ 4:52PM
Ray said...
TLC Takes Breather From Jon & Kate Plus 8 - Production on their claim to fame, TLC's reality hit Jon & Kate Plus 8, is going on hiatus.
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b130667_tlc_takes_breather_from_jon_kate_plus_8.html?utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_topstories
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6-23-2009 @ 5:17PM
Joyce N. said...
I agree with jb. I remember Jon, on camera, several times asking Kate to not treat him or talk to him that way in public or on TV. Kate either denied that she did or made excuses for why she did.
Last night, Kate, thru tears (?) said the show must go on. TLC announced today that they are putting the show on hiatus until Aug. Seems to me TLC has more compassion for those kids than she does. I don't want to see these kids sad emotions played out for the whole
country to see. Even August is way too soon.
I've heard Kate say "for my kids" or "for our kids" a whole lot more than Jon.
Also, I haven't seen one shred of proof that Jon has cheated nor has Jon "admitted" to cheating as a previous comment mentioned.
Kate is a control freak and sees no reason to change. Jon finally got sick of her non-compromising stance on everything and I don't blame him. Marriage has to have compromises at times and if only one HAS makes the compromises, it gets really old real quick.
Jon wanted out of the show and out of the public eye but Kate wanted to continue and still does.
Yes, Jon is "out" doing things he was never allowed to do and he's obviously enjoying his freedom, but Kate has had a lot of freedom traveling without her kids too. She is also obviously enjoying that as well.
I don't feel bad for Kate at all. She could have tried to change the way she emasculates Jon, but each season anyone with a brain could see it only worsen. It's always been her way or the highway. Jon finally chose the highway. Those kids will suffer her wrath now. A public spanking is only the beginning.
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