TVSquad

Well, eeewwww! I hope nobody was eating dinner during this episode, because there were some real gross-out scenes. The opener with a chained-in-the-basement Lafayette being hit by a severed arm and watching Erik drool large amounts of blood was bad enough. But later when Lafayette foraged through the guy's severed leg to find a piece of metal (at least, I think it was metal) to jimmy his chain lock open ... well, I was seriously cringing.

I'm really trying not to reveal spoilers on the front page, but there's not a whole lot about True Blood that isn't a spoiler. I guess I could talk about Bill and Sookie having makeup sex and post-sex pillow talk, and how interesting it was to Bill ... nah, that's just not interesting enough on its own for pre-jump text.

Let's talk about Jessica. I can't figure out if she really was missing her family, or if she got Sookie to drive her home so she could attack her dad. Thoughts on that? Jessica seemed genuinely happy to see her mom and sister, but then to her dad, she said, "Go ahead, Daddy, get your belt. But this time, I'll be ready for you."

Ok, writing that makes me think she went there with the precise intention of killing her dad. But when Bill got there just in time to stop her ... yipes when he told Sookie to "Shut up!" and then made her leave "so I can clean up your mess!" There's either going to be some more major makeup sex in their future, or these two will just implode. At any rate, do you think Bill is going to kill Jessica's dad?

There's definitely some sparks flying between Jason and Sarah Newlin. But what's up with his jealous roommate, Luke? He's just annoying at the moment, although correct me if I get this line wrong, but I believe he said this to Jason: "What is it with you snapping the American flag like you're some Muslim Buffy with a dick?" That was funny, Those Light of Day people are creepy ("Die, Fangers!") with their sexy-Jesus singer.

And speaking of annoying, I really just want to smack Maryann, because she's super-annoying right now, what with her casting her weird spell on the people at Merlotte's and then forcing Sam to turn into a dog. I'm not grooving on her shakey-shake thing; it's a little cheesy. Kind of like the romance brewing between Tara and Eggs - just not feeling it. But I think Tara is right not to trust Maryann: "Something inside of me says it's weird to trust it," she tells Sookie about staying at Maryann's. Still, I only see trouble ahead for Sookie if Tara moves in with her.

Erik and his hair-foil-blood fetish is funny, but I like him better with long hair. With short hair, he just seems like a nerdy vampire rather than a manly vampire. It was funny, though, when the saleslady at the store where Bill was shopping for clothes for Jessica thought Bill and Erik were gay. "It's the new me," said Erik. "You like?" To which Bill replied, "I do, very much."

I liked Erik's line to Lafayette when he took him upstairs after tearing the other guy apart: "I wouldn't try anything rash if I were you. I'm still hungry."

So ... it looks like Lafayette is going to be a vampire! "Not only will I be a baddass vampire," he tells Erik, "but I'll be YOUR baddass vampire." I also think that Sookie might get ticked enough at Bill to start something up with Erik.

As always, I await your thoughts on this episode like a thirsty vampire.