If you recognize Steven Wright's material tonight on his Late Show with David Letterman spot, you either have a good memory, or you bought the re-release of Wright's I Have A Pony that hit shelves Tuesday. Wright will be performing material from the CD, which was originally released 24 years ago. Warner Brothers released this "Deluxe Anniversary Edition," which also includes his first HBO special, A Steven Wright Special (coincidentally, produced by Peter Lassally from Johnny Carson's Tonight Show), as part of its 50th Anniversary celebration.
Wright's material was always off the wall, unlike anything anyone had heard when he first did Carson's Tonight Show in 1982. Some have worked in the same field of quick-fire absurdism that Wright cleared (like Mitch Hedberg and Demetri Martin), but Wright's comedy was never rooted in a particular time, place, or even galaxy, really. Which is why I Have A Pony still sounds fresh today.
Here are ten of my favorite lines from the album (listen for them tonight, and feel free to post your own favorites):
- I got a post card from my best friend, George. It was a satellite picture of the entire Earth, and on the back he wrote, "Wish you were here."
- I'm going to court next week. I've been selected for jury duty. It's kind of an insane case - six thousand ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Chinese restaurant. I don't think they did it. I know a few of them, and they wouldn't do anything like that.
- I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
- You can't have everything; where would you put it?
- I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again.
- Decided to leave and go to California, so I packed up my Salvador Dali print of two blindfolded dental hygienists trying to make a circle on an Etch-a-sketch.
- One night I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
- She's a very pretty girl; she has emerald eyes and long flowing plaid hair.
- I got up the other day, and everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.
- It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
6-05-2009 @ 11:21AM
Michael D. said...
One of my all-time favorites: "I used to work at the factory where they make hydrants. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
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6-05-2009 @ 1:50PM
Brett Alan said...
I Have A Pony is the greatest comedy album ever.
My fiancee always responds to "You can't have everything; where would you put it?" with "In the kitchen sink!"
Nice to meet you, Diane, I'm Bucky Goldstein.
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6-05-2009 @ 8:31PM
kerry said...
Back when I was a much dorkier teenager, I used to always wear mis-matched socks. One day, one of my teachers noted my socks and I told him "I go by thickness." He immediately caught the reference (which was at least 10 years old by then) and I felt terribly cool.
For most of my childhood we listened to "I Have a Pony" on long car rides. A couple years ago my sister surprised me with a tape of it while we were driving up to the family cabin. I agree, even 20+ years later it's still funny.
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6-07-2009 @ 3:37PM
Ron P said...
My favorite Steven Wright line is "I poured spot remover on my dog. He disappeared."
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