TVSquad

(S08E21) The night started with a grand swoop of the set, something I wished that would be used more often. Unfortunately, the episode really dragged on until the last hour. I guess I'm now prepared for the long results show for American Idol tomorrow.

I get to make my final jab at Samantha Harris for the season: someone has to fire her stylist. That dress was ugly.

The outcome was a little bit of a shock, but I would appreciate a win from any of the three contestants. We start (and end) the night with Lady GaGa, and she didn't do half bad.


Lady GaGa – Just Dance – I'm a little confused that Lady GaGa didn't use "Poker Face" as her opening song, but I realize that it must have been because she sang it on American Idol. I appreciate that she lowered the key of the song so she could sing live without breathing funny. I also think that fire and last night's steam should be used more often on the show. Do these shows give seizure warnings? I love the effect of strobe lights, but it may seize a random viewer.

The First Four Eliminations - All these people were on this show? I appreciate that Steve Wozniak and Steve-O were taken out early in the season. Denise Richards definitely lost all credibility after going on this show. I guess it can't ever get more complicated.

Belinda & Jonathan – Salsa – I don't think she really improved eleven weeks later. She looks a little younger, though. I appreciate that they cut out that upside-down split.

Denise & Maksim – Quickstep – She's still thinking too hard and whoring to the camera. I still imagine her dance sequence in Drop Dead Gorgeous where she's dancing with Jesus.

Holly & Dmitry – Samba – Out of the first three, Holly had the most potential. She had more hip action tonight. She should have survived the two Steve's and would have had more room to improve a la Ty.

Steve & Karina – Quickstep – On the potential level, Steve Wozniak was pretty low. We was the Cloris of the season. I congratulate him for surviving four weeks and losing a chunk of weight. Apparently, being able to survive the first four weeks allowed Steve do a full performance. In the end, he attempted a worm where he basically fell on the floor and kicked.

The Fifth, Sixth Eliminations and so on - Back in the day, Ty broke from the bottom of the pack. Gilles got a 10 and then continued to remove clothing to keep the audience's interest. Melissa struggled with injuries, and Lil Kim channeled her inner cop.

David & Kym – Waltz – David still looks quite awkward in the face. I was disappointed that I couldn't see the peeing kick. The shaved graying hair wasn't attractive on him either.

Steve-O & Lacey - Foxtrot – Steve-O could have survived a little longer if he could remember his steps. It's like watching a little kid that wants to impress his parents. Luckily, he didn't slam into the stairs, even if he tripped on the way to the steps.

Former Dancer Analysis – Everyone from Tia Carrere to Jane Seymour offered positive comments. Jewel looks horrendously jealous as she continues to glare at Ty as he jokes around. Nothing informative comes from this fluff except for the fact that many celebrities still want camera time.

Pro Dancer Competition – For the past few weeks, Mayo and Anna competed to be the next professional. They made both Maurice and Lisa look amazing, then made Maks and Kym look great. After the votes, our newest professional is Anna. I guess Len was right. She's really excited and thankful; let's just hope that she gets a decent celebrity (or Chelsie's patience). She dances the quickstep quickly after winning, and you can feel the excitement. It's nice to see the song fitting her mood. An earring slips off from one of her intense spins, but she doesn't twist an ankle on it.

Even more Eliminations - Competition heated up; well, except for the fact that Lawrence tried to clothe Edyta. That led to his downfall. The combination of Melissa's supportive fan base and Ty's intensity in the Team Tango led to the downfall of Chuck.

Lawrence & Edyta – Jive – Edyta can make any partner look good. Lawrence loafed around in most of the dances. He messes up steps this time around, probably because he was thinking of tee time.

Chuck & Julianne – Samba – The knock-off Samba reappears again. This dance was basically the start of Chuck attempting to wear silk and satin to get votes. He then messes up in the middle and laughs; luckily, the performance wasn't for a score.

Jeffrey Ross – Roast – After this season, I don't think that ABC should invite Jeffrey back again. I applaud him for having the balls to call Bruno "flaming." The show never mentions that Bruno is gay, but everyone knows. He makes a no star joke calling the show Dancing with the Vaguely Familiar. He goes there with Lil Kim and community service jokes. There's a point where making fun of 17-year-olds is mean, but a Space Mountain joke is funny.

The Final Weeks – The solos were mostly hot, but Jewel laughed a lot at her husband. I'm a firm believer that Lil Kim would have been eliminated fourth anyway if she survived past Ty. After seeing Cheryl's costume, I realized that Shawn looked just like Cheryl for her Argentine Tango.

Lil Kim & Derek – Jive – Yeah, it was too Broadway, but it was compelling television. Anything with leg warmers is sexy.

Ty & Chelsie – Lindy Hop – The Lindy Hop was one of Ty's best dances, it showcased that he could hold his own with speed, but also showed his strength in lifts. Chelsie was definitely the breakout professional dancer of the season. I hope she lasts as long next season

Final Three Cross-Analysis – The three repeat the same things we hear every results show: Shawn is young but technical, Melissa is graceful and beautiful, and Gilles is a great performer.

With the beginning of the second hour, the three enter from the other side of the stage which should be used at least once pre-finale, just so that no one will fall down the stairs.

Favorite Dance Round

Shawn & Mark – Cha-Cha - We get a montage of Shawn's growth: It was mostly giggles, awkwardness, and being young. She then broke down, but Mark helped her succeed. Shawn's Cha-Cha is better this time around because she seems smoother and excited to dance. She's sharp tonight and it's nice to see her invigorated. Again, I wouldn't pick a Cha-Cha in the finals, especially with Melissa doing her Samba, because the Cha-Cha isn't as compelling. But Shawn did great.

Len loved her athletic strength, technique, and precision, and her Latin moves have improved. Bruno loved her evolution and technique. Carrie Ann underestimated her and knows that she deserves to win. Score: 30 (10, 10, 10) Combined Score: 88/90

Melissa & Tony – Samba – Melissa had the least amount of training, but she really made for great television. Tony considers Melissa a little sister, and their teamwork worked wonders. Kudos to her for persevering past the rib injury. Luckily, she admits to being an unknown, and Tony feels lucky to have her. Her solo has more passion this time around. Although her hair got stuck in her face, she kept going, trying to get the hair out with intense spins (It didn't help). She improved her hip actions. Luckily her top didn't go loose this time around.

Bruno loved her "appetizing" dance and wants more. Her body is ideal for dancing and she sustained her energy through the dance. Carrie Ann thinks that she's become Tony's dance muse. Len loved her presence, her style and elegance mixed with the Latin rhythm. Score: 30 (10, 10, 10) Combined Score: 86/90.

Gilles & Cheryl – Argentine Tango – Gilles never danced, but Cheryl saw potential. She trained him hard and he became a real dancer. There was a real hectic nature in Cheryl's choreography, but it fits with the emotion of the dance. The stoic nature of Gilles' face was great. I could have sworn he botched one of the last steps in the dance, but the audience applauded so loudly that I assumed that the judges would ignore it.

Carrie Ann knew that he's very special because he has a special artistry. Len thought that the two were the best to watch the whole season. He was reminded of the first time he saw an Argentine Tango watching the two dance. Bruno liked that he played each step like an actor plays every word. Score: 30 (10, 10, 10) Combined Score: 88/90

Lady GaGa – LoveGame – I love watching what Lady GaGa comes up with for her performances. I've never seen two performances with the same outfits. She went from American Idol (singing "Poker Face") to this show and no one challenged it; she fit on both shows well. In DWTS she increased the dance moves, whereas on Idol she made sure she displayed her vocal chops.

After all the hoopla with voting and scores, the third place team was Melissa & Tony. The two points probably didn't help. At least she wasn't runner up again. Melissa has changed, but yet has maintained this dorky/cute attitude. Tony has another third runner up under his belt. Let's hope he gets a good partner next year.

Voting actually made a big difference between Shawn and Gilles, since the scores were equal. According to Tom this was the closest finale since the votes had less than a one percent difference between the two. Sure it's not American Idol announcing billions of votes, but that is tighter than any Idol season.

After eleven weeks, the winners are Shawn & Mark. I think Mark was more floored than Shawn winning. The Ballas-Hough alliance quickly supports the two: Derek lifted Mark and Chuck lifted Shawn.

Although I'm excited for the fall season, I'm really hoping that season ten is an all-star season. I'd like to see several of the celebrities with actual potential have a second chance. From this year's cast, I'd definitely suggest Lil Kim and Holly Madison (because she needed the extra weeks of preparation).