TVSquad

G.I. Joe is my favorite 1980s action-adventure cartoon. So naturally I was crushed when I heard that hackmaster Stephen Sommers (Van Helsing, The Mummy) was directing the big screen adaptation, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. But now I'm actually looking forward to the thing.

Sure, Snake Eyes is wearing slacks, Cobra Commander looks like a frakkin' Troma reject, and the movie has way more Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans than I can handle, but check out this cool new French trailer:



First off, I love that this French trailer starts out with the Eiffel Tower getting nuked and someone telling the president, "The French are pretty upset!" Then we're introduced to the Delta 6 "accelerator" which, thankfully, is a high-tech power suit that turns boring old Channing Tatum into a super-charged flying cyborg.

Then there's Lost's Mr. Eko (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) giving everyone the crazy eye and schooling the Joes on insane military tech, Ray Park flying out of planes and performing all kinds of bad-assery, plus weird weapons like slime-blasting bombs and a rocket-shooting Hummer.

Mr. Stephen Sommers, it looks like you have the makings of a mindless but extremely entertaining summer movie here. End it with someone saying "Knowing is half the battle," and I 'll forgive you for making the worst Hugh Jackman movie of all time.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra hits theaters August 7th.