TVSquad

Seriously, you'll never guess. Go ahead and try.

Now if you did just try and venture a guess, let me point out how incredibly stupid you are. You just answered a question verbally at a computer.

And no matter what your answer was, chances are it was wrong. If you had a million guesses, a team of round-the-clock researchers, and more than half of a century to sit down and figure out the answer, you still wouldn't get it. It's THAT bizarre.

It's TV's Judge Mathis, and that isn't the weirdest part of this story. Kotaku reports the game will be a third person shooter.

"You mean, shooting as in verdicts and opinions that he shoots from the hip or shoots at the heart of discrimination and injustice?" you are AGAIN asking your computer, which further proves either your ignorance or some sort of undiagnosed learning disability. "Please please please mean that kind of shooting."

Nope, we mean shooting as in bullets, guns, the whole schmeer. So beware all you mooching roommates who don't pay your half of the light bill and you angry ex-boyfriends who keep slashing your woman's tires. You're about to get a bullet in the face and then an order to pay restitution.

The game, tentatively titled "Mathis: 'Detroit' Street Judge" will put the player in control of a convicted felon who has been released due to prison overpopulation. During his parole, he has to complete various community service tasks and avoid various bad influences while dodging members of the criminal underworld who have framed him for a crime he did not commit. So basically it's "Grand Theft Auto" without any "theft" or anything "grand."

If they are caught, they have to face the mighty wrath of Judge Mathis. He can send them to prison where they will "gain credibility when you come back on the streets. On the other hand, when you go to prison you can also be raped. So take your chances."

I think there is a lesson there for all of us.