TVSquad

This week in reality television was eclectic. Dancing With the Stars was happily un-complicated with the absence of Denise Richards, America's Next Top Model's most home-sick model mysteriously was on top, and no one should have watched Survivor because it was a waste of time.

This is one of those weeks where you realize that the show casts people with little-to-no chance of winning just so that the people they want to win don't mess up. Although American Idol's Michael Sarver is a great example, I'm looking mostly at Celia (right) from Top Model: she's too old. On a positive note, there was a lot of weird, memorable, and funny moments to compensate this week. More analysis after the jump.

25 going on 80 – Celia (America's Next Top Model) – I was a fan of Celia a few episodes back, but boy has she aged. She has this horrible tendency to clinch her neck, showing all these wrinkles. Then she furrows her brow and tons of wrinkles emerge on her forehead. To make it worse, her attitude is one of a 12 year-old girl, jealous of her competition. Get this girl some Covergirl wrinkle cream and a slice of shut the hell up pie.

Slow but Steady Award – It (I Love Money 2) – After watching the episode where Frank (the Entertainer) was eliminated, I realized that although Taylor Made and Saaphyri make good strategists, they are the biggest threats. People like It (or Frenchie) can probably fly under the radar easily. It is either playing dumb really well, or is just lucky to have so many people scrounging for alliances.

Best Resume – Fahid (From G's to Gents) – Last week, during a lesson, Big Brother's Mike Boogie tried to teach the G's about making successful transitions. While some of the G's had decent jobs like plumbers and strip club bouncers, Fahid didn't. On his list of job experience and goals he put down Gangsta as his experience and Gentleman as his goal. Not only did it sound bad, it looked like a five-year-old wrote it.

I wouldn't want to fly nearby Award – Kacca Airlines (The Amazing Race) – Who doesn't like a good poop joke? I really hope it's not how it's really pronounced, but Mel mentioned that one destination point was reached through Kacca Airlines.

Counterintuitive Sponsorship Award – Clint Bowyer (The Biggest Loser) – Nascar racer Clint Bowyer visited for a reward/immunity challenge where the contestants had to drag cars. Although the main sponsor of his car is Cheerios, one can't deny the fact that there was a Hamburger Helper glove on his stomach. Maybe you'll remember his Hamburger Helper commercials. One-third of a cup of Cheeseburger Macaroni is 34% of your daily sodium intake. I hope the contestants know that. The often seen commercial is below.



Most Awkward Transition – Juan Ayala (Toddlers & Tiaras) – I feel bad for the father of the Ayala family, Juan. Only a few days coming back from Afghanistan as a soldier, he had to watch all three of his daughters in their first glitz pageants (aka the Pimp My Daughter-style pageants). Luckily for him, he was supportive of the swimwear section.

Best Editing – I Love Money 2 – The show is so silly that it's amazing. I've loved Real World/Road Rules Challenges and this to me is the same thing except they know it's a farce. The editing team has a fun time captioning Frenchie, having heads float around, doing these funny echo flashbacks, and the Mission Impossible/Taylor Made editing was quite interesting. It helps that most of the contestants are over the top.

You know you're a gambler when – Katelynn (The Real World: Brooklyn) – On their trip to Atlantic City, Katelynn decides to spend some of the money she was given from Scott to pay off her bills as gambling money. She was up at least $600 at one point and could have used that to pay back the $1500 Scott gave her. Instead she wasted it all (and more) on blackjack. To make it worse, she had the nerve to ask JD for $20.

News & Notes:

Remember Richard Hatch? - Well the winner of the original season of Survivor is trying to convince the courts that he was just edited badly and that's public perception. Unfortunately, he can't deny the fact that he did say those things.

Jason & Molly are "happy" together - Who? Yawn. I was so into Melissa Rycroft that I didn't even know who dumped her. Oh well, good luck to them anyway

Idols Lip-Sync? - What's next? Bad choreographed dance? Making mostly blind people walk from a bench to the center of the stage? Ryan Seacrest walking down a long flight of stairs without railings? Oh wait, that all happens.

Top Model Audition Rules Change – The new rules include no knives, no boyfriends, and no chance of getting a real modeling career. The moves are to prevent the chaos in New York's auditions. How about no steaming cars nearby the lines?