"Put it in me Scott..."No, that's not dialogue from a new porn movie. Well, actually, maybe it is. The new Quizno's commercial is probably the closest we'll get to a gay porn flick in a mainstream sub shop ad.
Have you seen the commercial (after the jump)? It's for their new "Toasty Torpedo" subs, and if you think it's only a coincidence that they're shaped like long male sex organs, think again. The talking oven, which sounds a little like the gay brother of the HAL Computer from 2001, talks to Quizno's worker Scott about how they "both enjoyed" whatever they did before the commercial started (Scott burned himself...somehow), and now he wants Scott to put his toasty torpedo in him. Pay attention to the part where the oven says "we both enjoyed that." Scott looks down at his crotch. The hell?
It's really hard to figure out what audience they're going for. I guess we should all be grateful that there's no mention of "mayonnaise" in the ad.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
3-27-2009 @ 1:52PM
Scott said...
You're wondering about the advertising judgement of a company that used to have creepy rats singing about its food? And before that, the creepier talking baby?
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3-27-2009 @ 1:59PM
Jason said...
You know, my first time seeing this was more painful than my second time.
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3-27-2009 @ 2:31PM
tom said...
Don't be so uncomfortable Sassone. Just relax a bit and you will start to enjoy it.
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3-27-2009 @ 3:33PM
Rocketboy said...
That's what he said...
3-27-2009 @ 2:38PM
bcarter3 said...
I like this ad! I think it's funny, sly, and memorable.
There are a couple of other new ads, however, that irritate the hell out of me: Comcast has an ad w/absolutely brilliant graphics, but a fingernails-on-a-blackboard soudtrack that makes me press the Mute button as soon as it starts. And there's a really repulsive ad featuring an adult male in a baby carryall, talking about how much he likes breast milk. Don't know what the product is--I got so disgusted I blanked it out.
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3-27-2009 @ 2:38PM
Michael said...
so this commercial killed me the first time i saw it...and seriously the tag "put it in me scott", may it never again be used cause ..yeah
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3-27-2009 @ 2:41PM
Aaron Stevens said...
I saw this commercial previously and apparently missed ALL of the gay and phallic subtext (must have been distracted by my blogs). I liked the commercial before... I'm a sucker for HAL send ups, but I think all that juicy subtext makes it even better. But your question about who they're targeting? Well, everyone I know either has a phallic they trying to stick into something or a hole they want a phallic stuck in to...
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3-27-2009 @ 2:59PM
Usama said...
I've seen the ad multiple times on TV but they don't use the phrase "put it in me" nor does the machine say so explicitly "sexier.." .. and you know what? it was much funnier that way, when the innuendos were there and it wasn't all that obvious.
Don't get me wrong, I like the add. But I thought it was funnier in its edited form because the whole exchange seemed more strange than it does above. As it is uncut it sounds like high school kids wrote the dialogue.
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3-27-2009 @ 9:44PM
Jillian said...
Usama -
They have edited the spot for family oriented channels. If you watch Comedy Central, G4, Spike, or the like later at night you will catch it in its original form.
3-30-2009 @ 3:06AM
ZIPIT said...
THERE MUST BE A FEW BECAUSE I TOO HEARD HIM SAY PUT IT IN ME SCOTT..... AND TOLD HIM TO TALK SEXIER AND SEXIER..IT WAS SICK! IM DISCUSTED AND ILL NEVER GIVE THESE JERKS THE SATIFACTION OF EATTING THERE EVER.
3-30-2009 @ 3:06AM
ZIPIT said...
MY SWEET FAMILY LOVES COMEDY CENTRAL,, AND WE WERE EATTING DINNER WHEN IT CAME ON.. I DIDNT THINK AT THIS TIME OF EVENING SO EARLY WE WOULD HAVE TO EVER HEAR AND SEE SOMETHING SO DISCUSTING!!! ITS OUR CHOICE AND WE DONT HAVE RATED X TV IT SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ALLOWED ON TV!! ITS NOT THE FREAKING SPICE CHANNEL FOR GOD SAKES!! I SHOULD FILL HIS ASS WITH A SUBMARINE! MY KIDS AND MY MOM WAS WATCHING. THANKS BUTT HEADS AT QUIZNOS,,YOU LOST MORE BUISNESS,,,PROUD?
3-27-2009 @ 3:14PM
nocaution said...
I would contend that the ads for Subway's "5-dollar foot longs" are way worse.
Seriously, think about it...
Imagine you're walking down the street and some random dude comes around the corner.
He suddenly holds his hand up, as if to say, STOP!!!
Then, with a rakish grin and no explanation whatsoever, he arches his eyebrow, and holds his hands about a foot apart to inform of... "it's size".
UUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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3-27-2009 @ 3:54PM
JW said...
I personally miss the spongemonkeys that used to advertise Quiznos. They were funny, catchy and straight to the point pretty much: "They have a pepper bar!!!". The new one is funny too, I like how they took the idea of HAL and turned him into an oven, and the first time I saw it and heard "put it in me" and "say it sexier" was indeed creepy. I think it's one of the more enjoyable commercial right now unlike the new McDonald's which is kind of unoriginal from the old singing bass toy. Can forget the new Comcast ones and the Subway musical and AT&T needs new commercials, theirs' may not be creepy or weird, but they are definitely old from this time last year. Anyways, maybe a female employee will be OVEN's next victim.
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3-30-2009 @ 3:17AM
ZIPIT said...
IF YOU CAN NOTICE IT WOULD BE UN EXCEPTABLE FOR IT TO BE A FEMALE TOO... AND FOR THE OVEN TO BE A MAN AND SCOTT A MAN THEN WE KNOW THAT THE OVEN PREFURS THE BACK DOOR. THANK YOU VERY MUCH,,,,,DO THEY WEAR GLOVES>?! I THINK THIS IS SICK NOT EATTING THERE EVER,THEY BETTER SAY SORRY.
3-27-2009 @ 3:59PM
Brett said...
Why do I think you might have seen this on a site run by a well-known stalker of young men on the gay internet?
Most gays I know never got any "sexual innuendos" from this ad. Except for the wacko referred to above.
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3-28-2009 @ 1:23AM
keith said...
I was disturbed by this ad in an OOky kinda way...another that has me in stitches right now is for a ladies razor...u see a nice looking woman in swimwear walk by a ...ahem...bush, and as she walks past the ...bush...morphs...first to a nice rectangle shape, the second a little "poof" of foliage, and the last to a .....triangle...not so subtle, yet funny and disturbing at the same time...kinda like an adult joke thrown into a kids movie...
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3-30-2009 @ 3:10AM
ZIPIT said...
I GUESS KIDS DONT EAT AT QUIZNOS????,,WHO ARE THEY TALKING TOO? GOING TO FAR WITH TALKING TO MY KIDS! PERVERTED WAYYYYYY TO MUCH INFO..INFO WE NEVER ORDERED . DO THEY USE GLOVES????
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3-31-2009 @ 1:54AM
Liam said...
Well obviously our dear friend Zipit has some unresolved sexual identity issues.
Come on people, it's a COMMERCIAL. Not only that, but there are at LEAST three different cuts of this particular spot, most of them have nothing to do with Scott and the Oven having relations. The one that IS a little off is played on Comedy Central, Adult Swim and typical places where more Adult and "odd" humor is appreciated. Even the "adult" cut of the commercial is very subtle and not as homoerotic as most of you are trying to make it out to be.
Seriously, The Land Of The Free as long as you are puritanical and don't make jokes that might be off color? Lighten the fuck up America.
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4-01-2009 @ 10:22PM
Leo_9207 said...
There is only one thing i can say about this commercial: I LOVE IT. It's funny and it doesn't have anything to do with being gay or whatever my mom and i watched last night i we were laughing our asses off. You don't see funny commercials these days so, i find it nice and i'm not gay, or am i? lol
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4-02-2009 @ 5:13PM
Mad In Illinois! said...
I'm a guy.
That TV commercial is the most repulsive spot I've ever seen in my life. Even joking about some guy placing his penis on any surface of where my food comes in contact with, is so offensive, words don't do justice to how repulsed I am.
I'll never purchase another sandwich from Quiznos ever again. Period. Never.
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