TVSquad

The networks have been getting their collective panties in a bunch over Barack Obama's need to go on television every time gravity starts to effect the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

They claim it not only screws up their schedule, but it also costs them millions in advertising revenue. Normally, I'd say that anything that keeps more advertising from pouring out of my TV and infecting my eyeballs with its sludge of persuasion (brought to you by the makers of the Gelatin of Ignorance and the Gas of Shame) is a good thing, but they do have a point.

And unlike most TV talking heads, past and current White House Chiefs of Staff or people who donated half of their brain to science (that last one may be a redundancy), there are two sides to every story. So here's a breakdown of the lovers and the haters of the Barack Obama TV brewhaha.

Hates Ya: The TV media - It's got to be a pain for the networks, both the four biggies (five if you count the CW) and the cable blabbermouths, when they have to play the old shell game to meet the White House's requests. A misplaced week must feel like a half life to the residents of TV land. TiVos and DVRs have made watching easier for audiences than cooking a Hot Pocket, but longevity is their biggest concern. The networks, however, have had a hard time winning over a regular audience as the classics fade away and a new crop of shows are planted. Messing up their audiences' routine for too long can create a crimp in their lineup. Sometimes waiting to find out how your favorite shows turn out can create more confusion and frustration than a Velcro condom.

Loves Ya: The news media - The simple fact that the White House is holding more than one press conference a year again is music to their wax encrusted ears. They actually get responses to their questions and queries, however dodgy they're sometimes designed to seem, as opposed to a misguided rant and complaints of victimization. Obama and his cronies haven't completely lived up to their promise to make the White House more transparent than a coed's T-shirt at Spring Break. But compared to the previous administration, Obama's transparency allows us to see almost all of the boobs behind the curtain.

Hates Ya: The TV execs - The heads of the networks don't like Obama's constant butting into their business, both financially and literally. They are so artery-popping livid that they they have taken their message to the media, proudly stood before a reporter with tape recorder in hand and told them they don't want to be identified. They could just choose not to air the address as they've done for President Bush, but that may not happen until Obama's approval ratings fall as low as Bush's did. The evening is young, even if Obama would have to choke on his own foot while eating pretzels for that to happen.

Loves Ya: The TV execs - Overpaid network executives now have another scapegoat in their quiver they can launch away from their sorry pusses when the ratings and ad dollars tank. It's hard to place the blame squarely on Obama's shoulders when he asks for an address once every few months, but it's an easy tonic to add to the Kool-Aid. It's also easier to force down people's gullets than a spoonful of "Our shows suck" to make the medicine go down. If it gets really bad and no longer serves as an excuse, they can always just sell advertising time for it. "This presidential address on the fledgling economy has been brought to you by Ramen Instant Noodles, feeding the financially strapped since the last recession."

Hates Ya: The American people - Remember back when the world didn't have cable and a Presidential address meant you wouldn't find out how the Beaver cured Wally's STD for a whole week? Feh, me neither. Nowadays, changing the channel doesn't even require leg work. Hell, it barely requires "thumb work." Someday we'll complain about having to blink too hard to do some channel surfing. No matter where you watch, it's still a form of brief escapism and it's badly needed in this day and age. The President's presence just forces us to spend more time thinking about how much things suck and less time pretending how we could totally nail Sock's "sister" on Reaper better than he could.

Loves Ya: The American people - Times are tough and they seem to be interspersed with brief moments of hope followed by even longer moments dedicated to destroying that hope. It doesn't matter if the President or the Congress is Republican or Democratic. The people don't need someone to sugar coat the truth, and they certainly don't need someone to fear-monger them into dedicating all of their trust to one person. They just need someone, anyone to remind them that someone is working on it and willing to put themselves in the public eye to remind them of it, even if that person accidentally trips over his own tongue every now and again.