TVSquad

It's easy to forget in these troubling times that America isn't the only country that's feeling the tight, constricting pinch from the claw of the economic lobster.

This is a GLOBAL economic meltdown. Everyone is feeling that pinch and looking forward to the day when they can grab that lobster by the antennae, throw it in a boiling pot of water, rip off the tail, sprinkle it with butter, pepper and herbs and serve it in a roll with a side of waffle fries. Damn I'm so broke and hungry.

The British Broadcasting Corporation, however, has an interesting way of dealing with their economic problems. Instead of trimming at the bottom, they are aiming their gardening shears squarely towards the top.

BBC officials announced plans to cut almost $583 million out of their budgets by freezing the pay of their executives and cutting fees from some of the bigger stars on their payroll. Wow, a struggling company is cutting the salaries... of their executives? I wonder what happens when they start announcing layoffs. Do they give members of Parliament pink slips?

Of course, the BBC isn't funded the way NBC, ABC or CBS is here in the States. The BBC is a public broadcasting company (except more entertaining and with actual viewers) that depends on housing growth to keep their bank accounts solid. Viewers pay a licensing fee to fund the network and right now, housing in the U.K. has reached lower depths than an Oakland Raiders fan's threshold for maintaining his public dignity.

The network is also teaming up with some of their rival networks like Channel 4 and ITV to share their resources to prevent anyone from going under completely. Does this mean our favorite BBC America shows are going to start cross-breeding? Will mutated dinosaurs from the set of Primeval race around Gambon in a Chevrolet Lacetti for a chance to suck less than Terry Wogen? Will Graham Norton be willing to travel through time with David Tennant in a cramped police box? (I believe the answer is an emphatic yes, followed by screaming, cheering and throwing his hat in the air Mary Tyler Moore style.)