TVSquad

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that it's been a couple of years since I've seriously watched American Idol. I've caught episodes here and there, but haven't sat down with a full season in a while. I bring this up because I'm not sure if it's just that I've been away from it a while or if this year's group of finalists is especially good. We're still not even to the Top 10, and no one's performance was a complete disaster. Sure, I had my favorites, but nobody embarrassed themselves, which seems new to me.

What I love/hate about the results show is how, even if the contestants manage to get through the performance show embarrassment-free, that inevitably comes to an end the next night. Between the Ford commercial and the group sing, I have never watched a results show without spending a good portion cringing.

Speaking of cringing, tonight's result is kind of surprising, and I think it's going to polarize a lot of people. Someone who I thought would make it pretty far in the competition got the lowest number of votes. But does that mean he or she is going home?



After Ryan spends a good ten minutes or so going over last night's show and making oblique, yet scary references to "what your votes HAVE DONE," we get the group sing, which is "Trouble." They shake and twitch across the stage, and I spend the entire song trying to figure out if the reason Allison's mouth doesn't seem to be matching up with the song is a result of the vocals being pre-recorded, or if it's just a weird camera/sound snafu. Either way, the song is mercifully brief.

The group sing is bad enough, but I don't know the song "Trouble," so I don't find it that bothersome. But after we return from a batch of commercials, we're forced to watch yet another one, in the form of a Ford pimp-o-mercial. This time they're singing a song I actually know and like, "Here it Goes Again," by OK Go. It makes a bad situation worse. The commercial involves the Idols running around and throwing water balloons at each other. Seacrest decides that beaning a water balloon at an audience member during the video would be a good idea. It is not.

The show quickly becomes ridiculously depressing, when we get to see what happened after last week's eliminations. Apparently, after the show ended, everyone went out to dinner and cried. Then, we're back on stage, and everyone starts crying again when Michael recounts the story of his 3 1/2-year-old daughter asking him why he doesn't want to be with her anymore. So 20 minutes into this show, and it's been non-stop humiliation and sadness. Let's get to some results!

Ryan tells Danny to stand up, and he's easily safe, becoming the first contestant to win a spot on the American Idol summer tour. Lil Rounds, unsurprisingly, is also in. Next up is Anoop, who is one of my favorites, but has really only made it into both the Top 13 and the Top 11 by the skin of his teeth. He is safe, as well, and will also be going on tour.

Next up are Allison and Michael. Seacrest asks Paula which one she thinks is in the bottom three, which is a question I always hate; it's just awkward for everyone. She tries to avoid answering, but with Simon relentlessly repeating, "answer the question. Answer the question," in her ear, she says Allison, which is not my answer. If I had to guess, I would definitely say Michael. In fact, after last night's performance, he was my pick to go home. In fact, most of you who voted in our poll agreed with me.

I'm kind of shocked when it turns out that Paula is right and Allison ends up in the bottom three. I thought for sure Michael was going home. He seems surprised, too, but sits down. Ryan, however, tells him to stand back up and informs him that he's in the bottom three, as well. Seacrest lies and tells us that we'll complete the bottom three when we come back from the break.

When we do come back, we get Brad Paisley performing "Then," which is followed by more commercials. After that break, we get back to the matter at hand. Ryan tells Scott to stand up, and he is safe. Megan Joy, who, like Anoop, has also been hit or miss is up next. She is safe. Ryan tells Matt to stand up, and he is safe, as well.

We're down to Kris, Alexis and Adam. As much as I dislike Adam, I don't think he's going home tonight, nor do I think he'll be in the bottom three. That means it'll be either Kris or Alexis, which I find unfortunate. Seacrest tells Kris to stand up, and he is safe. So now it's between Alexis and Adam. They stand up, and Alexis seems resigned to being in the bottom three. She seems even more so when Randy actually forgets her name and calls her "Allison." That's gotta hurt. So it comes to no one's surprise when she's the third one in the bottom three.

Now that we have the bottom three, Seacrest says that he's going to immediately send one back to safety, giving us a bottom two. I think it's going to be Allison, and I'm right. It's not her time. I have a feeling she's going to go pretty far in this competition.

Next up is a duet between Carrie Underwood and Randy Travis. I'll fully admit that I misjudged Carrie when she was on Idol. I thought she was good, but didn't really see her appeal. I called her the "Performer-Bot," because she reminded me of a pageant girl. She was technically proficient, but it never seemed like she felt anything she was singing or that there was anything at all going on behind her eyes. However, since she launched her career, I've got to say, it's been really impressive -- and this song is just an example of that. Also, the Carrie Underwood "Horse Whispering" commercial that they show afterward has always made me giggle.

So after the duet, Ryan gets back to business and asks the judges if they would consider using their one-time save on either of the contestants. Simon says that they've discussed it, and they would consider saving one of them. Interesting...

When we come back, it's go time. After 31 million votes, we are all proven wrong and Michael is safe, meaning Alexis is voted off. While I disagree with this decision, I'm not sure if the judges should use their save on her. Simon tells her that they are considering it, though, and that it comes down to this song.

Alexis starts singing and simultaneously looks as though she's going to cry and puke. For the most part, I think the fear works well for her performance. She's singing for her life, and there's clearly a lot of emotion behind it. Unfortunately, her voice cracks a little bit, and I'm afraid that it'll work against her. The performance is overall much better than it was last night.

I actually think that the judges might go for it, but Simon tells her that while her performance was good, it was not good enough. So, uh, I guess that whole thing about Idol being rigged and Alexis ending up in the final four was wrong, right? Or did the judges purposefully not save her because they wanted to avoid any appearance of impropriety? I'm interested in your conspiracy theories, so please leave them in the comments.