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It's not so good to be Kings

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Ian McShane gets some bad news from a runner on the set of KingsThe response for NBC's Kings has been a good one. The show has garnered good praise from both the TV critics' shires and their sovereign nation of loyal readers minus the ones who still work at newspapers since they technically don't have any.

If only critics' words could directly affect the world in which we live simply by committing ink to paper. Just think of the possibilities. Barack Obama would reopen Guantanamo Bay long enough to try Rob Schneider as a war criminal. Family Guy would have only lasted one episode instead of longer than most fossil remains. Deadwood would return to the air as a Saturday morning cartoon show called The $*&#ing Amalgamated Adventures of That Unnecessarily Profane #*$&ing #(#(*sucker Al #*($ing Swearengen.

More importantly, Kings would have done a hell of a lot better in its time slot.

The premiere episode only eeked out around 6 million viewers and finished as the lowest rated show in the 8 to 11 p.m. timeslot last Sunday. That means less people watched Kings than The Simpsons, Family Guy, 60 Minutes, Hole in the Wall and ... America's Funniest Home Videos?!? Cripes, is that show still on the air? Apparently, fathers have failed to learn after more than 10 years that their testicles are never safe when Junior has the whifflebat.

It's a strange place to put such an ambitious show. People who might enjoy Kings are usually watching TV during the week on Wednesday or Thursday, not early Sunday evening. It's a bigger wonder why NBC thought Kings would make a good lead-in for Celebrity Apprentice. The two just don't go together. One audience wants to watch a tired, old despot try to convince his kingdom that he's still a powerful man capable of doing great things at the cost of his own dignity and humility, and the other audience wants to watch quality shows like Kings.

If Kings wants to see season two, it needs some buzz. It's a smart and ambitious show for a network, but smart don't get you a date for the prom.

Here's the premiere, for those who missed it:

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