TVSquad

Did you ever watch Late Night with Conan O'Brien and wish you had that Gen. Eisenhower coffee mug that just sat oh so daintily on the cusp of your television to decorate your home decor?

First of all, if you said yes, you have the gayest living room decor since police raided Paul Reubens' home.

Second of all, here's your chance. Conan's mug and other pieces of the Late Night set have been stripped for parts and put on auction for the House to Home Project, a charity that helps families who have lost their homes to natural disasters.

So how do you place a bid on one of these hotly contested items? Do you have to fly your auction broker to sit in the front row at Sotheby's? Will you need a Swiss bank account on file so you can buy the Masturbating Bear's ball sack diaper tax free?

Nope, it's all on eBay! God bless you, America's yard sale. You sell the crap no one wants and you're not QVC.

The Eisenhower mug is just the tip of the iceberg that's slowly melting due to global warming. You can also buy part of the blue wall fabric that sits behind Conan's desk, a set of signing drumsticks, a rubber mutant rat used in a sketch with Donny Osmond, a steering wheel that Conan used for his famous "desk drives," and the last tie Conan will ever wear on Late Night. So if you've been thinking about filling the creepy shoes that Conan's last stalker left, now's the time to make an investment in yourself. Dr. Phil taught me that.

I mean how to build your confidence in your goals, not in stalking Conan. That would actually make his show entertaining.

Right now, as of 12 midnight on Tuesday, the bids are pretty low. So if you're itching for a piece of memorabilia, now's the chance to put some money in your bank account minus the illegal withdrawal fees and fire up the old Paypal account that you nicknamed Charlene.