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Viacom going black on Time Warner Cable

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Have been itching for a fix of South Park, Spongebob or Bonanza?

Well, bite down on some leather, drink plenty of fluids, and get ready for some long nights of withdrawal, because Viacom is pulling 18 channels off the air from all of Time Warner Cable's outlets in protest over their recent carriage fee raises.

That means if you're a TWC customer and a fan of anything on Comedy Central, VH1, Spike, Nickelodeon, Logo, CMT or (if you're completely blind and deaf) MTV, you're boned.

All of these networks and their spinoff frequencies are set to go dark at exactly 12:01 a.m. Thursday, at which time Viacom will hold your eyeballs as hostages until their demands are met.

Viacom wants cable customers to pay more for their channels, but the increase seems to differ depending on who you ask. Viacom claims in a statement that they only want 25 cents extra a month for their channels. TWC claims Viacom wants a 22 to 36 percent increase per channel. Either way, get ready for bigger cable bills. Better reinforce your mailbox before the bill arrives.

Viacom should have known TWC wouldn't budge on their rates without a fight. The world's in a recession that's gaining more strength by the minute, and there are more options than ever for cable customers looking for a hookup. The last thing any cable company wants to do is raise their rates an inch or risk losing customers. When unemployment reaches record high, the first thing to go is the cable, except for the few people who don't mind going without food, shelter or daily showers and deodorant.

Personally, this news couldn't have been delivered any worse if Viacom tied it to a brick and threw it at my head. New Daily Shows and Colbert Reports are supposed to touch down on Jan. 5 after a three week Christmas break. If the blackout stretches into Day 5 and there is a good possibility it could, I might have to watch (gasp!) real news.

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